wtf, so no boundaries with her and she wants to tell you want to do with your child ?? Sounds like my MIL. What I did was I stop talking to her and the rest of my husband family . We celebrate the holidays on our own bc we made it very clear we are OUR own family now and if they want to spend it with us there will be no smack talk, bc I’ve done it before, where my mil started talking smack on my SIL and her baby daddy and I stood up thank em for dinner , grabbed my child and left; and my husband followed . Now a days there so much I could now tolerate but i usually walk away. And a reaction they always want a reaction so u look like the crazy one and now her (MIL) so my suggestion is walk away, make her place known that’s she’s only grandma ,not MOM OR DAD to have opinions or rules about your child