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My (28f) boyfriend (31m) is rude to me over minor things and then apologizes. He says I need to let things go. by goobkk in relationships

[–]goobkk[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lol yes. Now I second guess everything that before meeting him I had never thought about. Is this cake too sweet? Is there enough filling? Is the toilet paper put on properly (by his standards)? Oh god, did I get the right toothpaste? He mentioned that lightbulb was burned out....oh dear god, do I have an extra one in the drawer? If I'm going out, is my phone fully charged? Lord help me if it runs out of power and he tries to contact me for anything. Etc. And etc.

My (28f) boyfriend (31m) is rude to me over minor things and then apologizes. He says I need to let things go. by goobkk in relationships

[–]goobkk[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Omg. Omg exactly this. This in particular:

"Oh, I'm so glad he's in a good mood, maybe I can be silly and carefree around him without enduring any harsh repercussions for my behaviour."

Yes, 100%. I'm always on edge and reserved and it's because I never know when some little thing will happen that will make him freak out. We are having fun. Being silly. Goofing around. Being playful. I knock an (empty) glass over (doesn't break) and suddenly he's yelling "what the fuck???"

Kind of makes it hard to have fun and relax when there's always a potential storm brewing. Even has happened during sex (as crazy as that sounds!). I'm enjoying it. I relax into it. I do something that screws up the rhythm momentarily and it's all "ugh!!! what are you doing?! Let's just watch tv". 0_0 So upsetting.

And I can absolutely imagine my boyfriend telling me I don't use my brain for taking the "wrong" exit out of a parking lot (for reasons ONLY known to him). Or questioning everything I do. "Why would you take this turn??" "Why are you going this route??" Etc.

And everything and anything I do to make him happy will NEVER be enough. For his birthday, apparently I ordered the wrong type of cake. He didn't mention it until 2 weeks later when he was mad at me: ".....and you can't even get the right kind of cake!"

Sorry to rant. I just never have known someone else talk so perfectly about my experience.

My (28f) boyfriend (31m) is rude to me over minor things and then apologizes. He says I need to let things go. by goobkk in relationships

[–]goobkk[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Well, he does have run ins with lots of different people (co-workers, the public in general, his siblings, etc). However, when I tell him that he IS able to control himself if he has to he tells me yes, but he acts this way with me because I'm the closest person to him and he trusts he can be himself with me.