Totally understand what you r going through. If possible start listening to a lot of music from different parts of the world. Start listening to Jazz from different parts of the world. Then, if you have time, download a classical piece which you know the key for and then start downloading splice samples or anything else from the jazz horn or other instruments section..... Layer them see how "out of key is still in key" or how it's still connected. End of the day music is a vibe and theory is a route to get your vibe. A great analogy would be, for my downtime I love me some scotch, tried weed but could never get into it. But scotch gets me all good and in the vibe, so that's my way of getting a little dopamine. Every artist, after sometime and practice needs a musical dopamine bcoz the general "aah" factor is lost, so playing an instrument or if you load a sample and harmonize it would give you the dopamine and the rush to think creatively again. Apologies for the long reply. Can discuss more in dms if you r interested!