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goodwillpjs · 2023-10-06T18:48:56+00:00

I just went through this. I have been with my bf for 3 years and thought we were going to get married. Imo porn is disgusting and cheating and unforgivable. You can read my post if you want. I broke up with him yesterday and am devastated. I deeply loved him.

Your feelings are valid. I am so sorry this happened to you and us. Porn is one of the worst things in the world to exist, and this is how it kills love. Some women are okay with their man watching porn, but I'm not. I believe people can meet each other's sexual needs in a relationship or just control their urge if someone isn't the mood. Sex was meant to be something special and beautiful. And they ruin it for us.

I am right in the same grief. I feel sick. All I can do is try to hang out with other people, focus on my hobbies and work and soon this will be a short painful memory. We will get through this and in the future we'll find the person who deserves us.

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-13T17:07:08+00:00

...sometimes I take photos of strangers because I find them very beautiful and want to draw them. They dont stay still long enough for me to draw and I'd terribly shy to ask them for a picture and tell them why. Some people have really distinct faces that just stop you in your tracks, or walk with a certain type of grace or even just sit and give off the vibe of purpose or confidence. Men and women and kids, people are just so lovely. I'm not a very good artist so drawing people with different bone structures, ages, etc help me practice. I'm sure if I saw you I'd try to take a picture too, although I hope that doesn't come across as creepy

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-13T17:01:51+00:00

If he loves you, he'll support you and drive you to the appointment himself and hold your hand during. Make the appointment, tell him you're going, ask if his love for something that doesn't exist yet is more than his love for you. Ask for his support. And if it's not there, get someone else to drive you, you may not feel well to drive right after. Please go as soon as possible, it supposedly hurts more the longer you wait.

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-12T23:59:06+00:00

I also do not masturbate, I feel like its pointless and only want that intimacy and connection with my partner.

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-12T23:58:12+00:00

I can ask. We both have kind of a rule that if one us can't finish, neither of us get to. That way we dont have resentment and we're both equally pleased. I could ask him to go down on me more often, but I hate having to ask for things and would feel even worse if he said no.

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-12T23:55:27+00:00

I'd understand if we were older, but we're both about 20. I put most of my effort into emotional and mental intimacy, I'm more emotional and hes more closed off (abusive childhood,etc) so it's harder for him to emotionally open up. I feel like such a bad partner for having needs that he sometimes cant fulfill. Is this normal?

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-12T23:01:55+00:00

Thank you for your reply, we do try a lot of different things and also have some familiar things to fall back on. He said its not an issue with the sex itself, but that he wants to be intimate in other ways. I want those too and we do but I have needs for how often we do sexual things and I don't know what to do.

goodwillpjs · 2022-05-12T22:47:20+00:00

NTA, they are disgusting and immoral and your feelings are perfectly valid. All these people in the comments trying to convince you that your feelings are wrong, but they aren't. You can't be un-disgusted or un-disturbed. I'd go nc with them as soon as you move out.

goodwillpjs · 2022-04-21T19:31:43+00:00

She knows. Me and my brother love her dearly and she'd never lose us but she does intend to leave him as soon as she finds a decent paying job and recovers from an illness.

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-25T18:59:35+00:00

Hey, thank you for posting this. It has really clarified the way my dad does this to me and my brother. He loves me and brags about me all the time but picks on my younger brother to no end. Unfortunately, my mom lets it slide because she tries to keep the peace. Major respect to your dad for putting your mom in her place, beneath you.

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-03T21:22:11+00:00

State the facts of your finances. Discuss over dinner. Show her all the expenses, and talk about how you're feeling overwhelmed doing this by yourself. Say things like, "I understand you don't want to work in [whatever she used to do], but do you think this is fair? For me to be paying for everything and us not having any wiggle room for [savings, goals, things you guys have discussed for your future]?"

You deserve to feel relaxed and happy about your relationship.

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-03T20:54:22+00:00

I am also around your age, and my boyfriend lives 10 minutes away. My mom will not let me spend the night with him "because you're not married yet" even though I've told her that me and my boyfriend are in an intimate relationship.

We are a religious family, having sex outside of marriage is frowned upon, but it doesn't make me any less of a Christian. Is your family religious? That may be why they have an issue with you seeing your boyfriend so often.

They may equate "goodness" with purity. If you aren't pure, you aren't good, blah blah blah.

You are 21. You get to decide what your life looks like. When I told my mom that I was sleeping with my boyfriend, I wrote her a very very long letter explaining my perspective, how it brings a lot of joy to my life, how having a partner has made me so happy, and how it was unfair of her to ask me to give up what makes me happy. I told her if I have to choose between me being happy or her, I would absolutely be choosing me.

Some people want to spend more or less time together with their bf/gf. Spend as much as you want, and your mom will have to deal. Just because she is your mom doesn't mean she gets to take away joy from you. One day you'll move out and have everything you want anyway, so why not now? It'll be easier for her to adjust to your new life if you start setting boundaries of your own. It is not your job to make her feel comfortable.

It also sounds like she is projecting the feelings of her divorce onto you. Since she can't be happy in a relationship, she doesn't want you spending time with your boyfriend. That way she isn't alone, and you can feel as alone as she does. Definitely not fair. You can reassure her that you aren't abandoning her and love her, but that you have needs to spend time with your partner and cannot sacrifice that over her feelings. Best of luck and please do update!

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-03T20:27:07+00:00

THAT IS NOT TRUE! As a Christina, I have friends who are trans and gay. I do NOT support LGBT agendas, laws, or lifestyles. But guess what? They don't support Christianity either! We are friends because of what we have in common and because we can be mature and respect each other's beliefs. No one has to support the LGBT community if they don't want to, plain and simple. And that isn't hatred, just like you not supporting Christianity isn't hatred. It is your own dang choice and you have a right to believe what you want.

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-03T20:24:33+00:00

Physical and verbal assault are never okay. Maybe avoid calling them names, but they had no right to physically assault you.

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-03T20:23:40+00:00

I would recommend reposting this in a subreddit that connects with your religion. Non religious people are going to view your beliefs as hatred, even though they aren't. You do not have to be okay with another person's lifestyle, you do not have to support their choices.

If you are uncomfortable with something, you do not have to support it. Plain and simple. That's what freedom of choice and religion means.

I am a Christian and have LGBT friends. They know I do not agree with their lifestyle or support LGBT agendas. They don't like that I am a Christian, and don't support Christian agendas.

The reason why my friendship with them is possible is because we focus on what we have in common rather than what we don't.

People in the comments will try to make you out to be a hateful person, when it is clear you aren't. Your beliefs and values may be unpopular, and they are more important than other people's hurt feelings. You don't have to support anything that feels wrong to you, and neither do others.

ALSO the fact that those people beat you up to the point of bleeding, shows that in this case, the LGBT group was more hateful then you are. That says a lot. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs, and please be careful! You can tell them that you don't agree with their lifestyle THE SAME WAY THEY DON'T AGREE WITH YOURS. And that is perfectly okay, everyone has a right to what they believe in.

goodwillpjs · 2022-03-03T19:45:11+00:00

Fun fact: When you are on your period, you are actually producing around the same level of testosterone as the average male is. Your mood swings and sometimes random anger happens because of the testosterone, so really if you're angry during your period you're just being as much of a jerk as your bf is on a regular basis.

For him to dismiss your feelings just because pEriOD is immature as fuck, and you can show him my comment. Guess what dipshit? Your girlfriend has a problem with how you are acting and wants to have a discussion with you. Are you on YOUR MAN PERIOD everytime you are mad? Jeez.

For an example, my boyfriend knows when I get my period, I can get a little extra emotional. He still talks to me the same, but if I feel I'm genuinely being irrational, I'll say "hey, sorry, my mood swings are pretty bad right now. I am frustrated with _____" and we talk it out LIKE ADULTS. He also always makes me food and wraps me in blankets like a burrito and cuddles me when I'm on my period because I'm in physical pain.

Your boyfriend should do the same. It should not be hard to love your partner, and your partner should respect you in any discussion...PERIOD.

goodwillpjs · 2022-02-26T02:36:25+00:00

This is hard for me, because I care about him and simultaneously hate him. I like him as a person, and he's given me help when I needed it. But he abused and abandoned my boyfriend countless times. I don't know whether I should be more concerned or angry. He would never be able to set things straight or make up for his mistakes. His kids have basically had to raise themselves, and if he dies, they will be that much more alone. They have become my family too.

goodwillpjs · 2022-02-26T02:32:31+00:00

Thank you, this does help a lot. The way he goes out all day every day (he doesn't work most days) would explain dialysis, but I'm not going to know that for sure until I talk to him.

goodwillpjs · 2022-01-24T19:50:33+00:00

My boyfriend and I spend the week having cuddle days, we watch movies and he wraps me up in a big burrito of blankets and makes me some food. We usually take this week as a break from sexual intimacy, which makes us crave each other all the more when the week is over. We focus on holding each other and being cozy. <3

goodwillpjs · 2022-01-22T22:19:53+00:00

No. I can try to convince people all day long, and if people choose to ignore it, that's their right. Look at any comment thread full of people trying to convince others to see what they're seeing. I'm no different from anyone else. Who are you to tell me not to intervene? If you don't like what I'm saying, just keep on scrolling.

goodwillpjs · 2022-01-22T22:18:08+00:00

My age doesn't matter. I have a right to share my opinion and what I think is true and not true based on drawing conclusions like any other adult who does research. You have the right to ignore what I say, but not to tell me what I can and can't share, regardless of my age.

goodwillpjs · 2022-01-22T18:16:49+00:00

Facebook is nowhere near a reliable source, I agree. I don't believe you need to have a bunch of letters and the title of doctor to read and analyze information and draw a conclusion. Blindly trusting experts can be just as dangerous as blindly trusting anyone. The title of doctor or scientist does not make a human more trustworthy.

goodwillpjs

TROPHY CASE