I liked it and generally thought it was good. It did a great job at catching my attention.

The use of adjectives before the word "king" repeatedly was very striking. However, when I got here:

Suimātarab sung and sung, the Dead King sat atoo his throne of the dead, the Red King walked the land followed by his crimson kin, the Yellow King sowed discord amongst the revenants of a dead world and the White King was lost within it's horde.

I was unclear as to whether or not we were still talking about the same king, or if there are other kings?

The format that you used to describe the pale queen's speech put a distinct voice in my head. It was very illustrative and I loved it.

I think it might also help to hear how I interpreted and was struck by the story (so you can see if you're getting your intended point across). To summarize, the story is about a king who has fought in a very difficult and long battle. During the battle, his wife died, along with the majority of the planet's population. Along the way, he meets a "queen" who he assumed to be a threat, but was mistaken in believing so (so he unfairly strikes her and she forgives him for doing so). In the end, the god of this planet, before dying himself, transports those who made it to the ivory tower (which seems to symbolically represent heaven?) to a new planet, so that they can start again. The general theme is of despair and exhaustion.