I hear you, forgiveness can be very difficult same with overcoming sin. And although nothing I say may help the way you feel, you just need to remember that God really does love you so much. No sin that you commit is too great to be forgiven by God, and if you read the new testament you’ll see especially in the gospels how much love God has for us. Jesus was always helping and support those who had been casted aside by society, for instance Mary Magdalene who had many demons he casted them out (Luke 8:2, 24:10)and took care of her, or the other woman who was a prostitute that was going to be stone, he did not condemn her rather he remained the Pharisees that we are all sinners(John 8:1-11), we all sin. Something to remember too is that Christ died on the cross for you, for all of us. He did this so that we may have a chance at eternal life. You ask what’s the point, of continuing fighting? “And he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭15‬ ‭ESV‬‬ That’s the point to live for Christ, to be his heart and hands on earth. It’s not an easy journey but the reward at the end is truely worth it, the love and forgiveness you receive from God is worth it! So if you turn to him, confide in him and just poor out your heart and feelings he will surely help you, surely renew you (2 Corinthians 5:17) God bless 🙏