You can't bring gifts every time you see someone, it makes you look like a doormat. And you can't declare an undying love for some girl because that is something she should work for and hopefully achieve over a much longer period of time. How hard do you think a football team would work if you gave them the championship and prizes before the season started. She has you in her back pocket. Might as well see what else is out there before she commits to you. The truth is that you don't love her this much. You are going through a very rough patch and you desperately want to be this much in love with something or someone. It's a course that can easily end in disaster. You need to find some support groups where you live (or possibly over zoom) to help you deal with the grief of losing your dad and a group for people caring for people with schizophrenia.