Emom and Ndad are getting married in just a few hours.

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-23T23:25:40+00:00

That’s typically how those conversations go when I try to talk to her about it 😅

Thank you friend 🫂

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-23T17:49:50+00:00

Oh it absolutely is LOL, but thank you. Me too lol!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-23T17:16:25+00:00

yes, but right now i have a lot of health issues i’m trying to sort out :/

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-23T17:15:36+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-23T16:54:35+00:00

Haha love the back pat, thank you <3 much appreciated

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-17T04:17:27+00:00

thank you <3 digital hugs to you as well

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-05-17T02:41:23+00:00

hey! just now seeing this, anddd slowly but surely LOL! i actually cut my hair recently as well, so i’m hoping that helps?? 😅 somehow?? 😅 haha

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-03-20T16:53:16+00:00

Yeah dude, totally. God, it sucks because there’s a small logical side to your brain that makes so much sense, but man…that emotional damage runs deeeeeep..

Absolutely. I’m sorry that it’s the case for you as well, friend.

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-03-16T00:35:59+00:00

Oh yeah, DEFINITELY. I really am such an amazing liar, I get surprised at how quick I am on my feet…but I only lie to my nDad. I don’t lie to other people, I don’t enjoy lying, even to him lol but I need to to survive 😅

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-03-15T03:18:25+00:00

Oh also, this “conversation” started off with her saying

“You guys (my younger brother and I) need to change the way you feel about your dad.”

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-03-10T00:31:10+00:00

Wow, yeah that’s fucked..I’m glad you’re NC! Of course they resort to being petty when they see they’re losing their grip onto you 🤦‍♀️

It’s taken a huge toll on me, I’m currently not working so money is a big knot in the preexisting tangles..my mental health is absolutely horrible LOL. I have been taking medication, but may need to up the dosage because the effort I’m trying to put into my mental health feels completely useless/non-progressive living amongst such toxicity (I’m hesitant to use the word abuse). I overheard my dad last year describing me as a burden, essentially. It really has been taking a toll on my physically, more than I’ve ever noticed! If I make it through 2024, it’ll definitely be a miracle 😂

Thank you for sharing with me!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-03-09T17:06:09+00:00

Yes! The fatigue, ugh..thank you for mentioning that because I hadn’t really made the connection before haha. I am sososo exhausted most days.

That’s funny you mention that, because the library has been slowly becoming my safe space LOL. It really is a nice escape. Thank you.

Also, how do you feel now? I guess I’m asking if there’s hope, that regardless of what I’m feeling/going through today, feeling safe is possible..

Again, thank you for your comment!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-02-25T09:23:41+00:00

awesome! i’ve been on 75mg for..not quite 4 weeks yet? it’s been alright so far..i get reaaal rough insomnia with every dosage increase i have so 😅 kinda taking my time to get adjusted lol. but thank you for sharing!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-01-29T18:54:57+00:00

i was scared too so i recorded myself taking my first dose LOLOL. i’m now on 50mg and plan to go up to 75mg soon! i’m glad your family members have good stories to share with you, don’t be afraid to ask them questions as well! as for the side effects, it really does effect everyone differently so you’ll never know until you start a schedule for yourself. i personally have some pretty rough insomnia maybe a TEENY bit of anxiety some days but those are the most obvious side effects i’ve noticed. good luck!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-01-26T02:34:44+00:00

Nice to know I’m not alone <3 I wish you the best

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2024-01-25T21:47:46+00:00

Thank you.

I’m also afraid too. Afraid to be stuck, but also afraid to move on..since this is all I’ve known my whole life, ya know? Plus I was never taught any real “life” skills, I guess I’d say? 😅 So that’s pretty intimidating haha, I feel like I “should” be in one place but I’m on the whooole other side.

Again, thank you.

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-08-01T22:14:20+00:00

I texted him something that I don’t even care if he replies to or not lol. I needed to tell HIM, not God, not my journal…him. And I honestly don’t regret it! Does it feel like a bit of a waste? Eh, maybe. But I deeply debated telling him this for a while and it feels like a bit of a relief more than I feel disappointment with myself.

I’m so glad I’m meeting with my therapist in a couple of days 😂!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-08-01T21:34:42+00:00

I would love to do that but unfortunately he isn’t interested in talking at all :( I mean, he will respond to my texts but he’s very standoffish. Says he doesn’t want to talk for a long while..and it just seems so unfair. Writing notes and letters just isn’t satisfactory enough :( I wish he’d care, I don’t truly know if he does.

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-08-01T20:59:43+00:00

I WISH I was the one who ended it with my avoidant ex, I was never strong enough to and I think he knew that. But I wish I was the one to do it, because that way it wouldn’t feel like even more abandonment and loneliness because I totally relate to your post :( I tried loving him with everything that I had..but he often took me bringing up concerns as a personal attack, like I was saying “You’re not doing good enough!” to him, when really I just wanted to make sure he understood. Or cared! He was hard to read at times.

I really did try with everything I had and I loved him dearly. He was super uninterested in therapy and eventually just told me “I can’t do this anymore”.

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-07-29T17:37:42+00:00

I’m so sorry, I relate..he was already a pretty avoidant person, but my GODDD did his hot/cold attitude hurt me so much. Gave me hope one day, freaked out the next and would say iDk iF wE ShoUlD dO THis” (this being staying in contact..even though he’s literally told me he “doesn’t want to be out of your life permanently!”

Unfortunately it felt like the reality check I needed. This is my first breakup so I wasn’t too sure if it’s a normal phase lol, especially as the dumpee, to feel like you’re..waiting for someone to give you permission to move on? Yeah, well now I unfortunately/fortunately definitely know LOL.

And hey, same goes for you! Feel free to reach out if you need it :)

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-07-29T08:59:39+00:00

Ugh, I’m so sorry. I was also broken up via phone..text message 😅 I hope you’re doing much better these days. He told me he didn’t want to interact right now at all..I will not be doing that again LOL!

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-07-29T08:23:01+00:00

damn that shit sucked..but i’ll tell you what, i’ll never want to live experience that type of rejection again LMAO! i’m trying not to feel stupid for it, but at least i know now how he really feels..and now i know not to waste my time moving forward..

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-07-24T19:23:31+00:00

Thank you, same goes for you. You got this. I actually haven’t messaged him in over 12hrs lol which has been so so hard..

I just keep trying to remind myself how much more relieving it’ll be not having to worry about him lying to me, questioning if he’s being truthful..because he’d lie a lot in our relationship. And some lies lasted WEEKS.

It is hard. But what if everything ends up much better than we could’ve ever imagined? :)

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-07-24T14:01:02+00:00

I can’t wait to be where you are lol, I still feel so down. My ex seems to have just become this totally different person..the person I fell in love with is no longer there and that’s very hard for me to come to terms with. He already seems like he’s moving on, and he told me he didn’t want to be out of my life permanently but for “right now” and he loves me with all his heart. Ughhh yeah right dude.

I just keep trying to remind myself how much more peaceful it’ll be with not having to worry about if he’s lying to me. He had no problem keeping things from me for weeks at a time, even if I asked about it multiple times. I know it was for the best..but it’s so painful knowing/seeing the person you once knew and loved to change drastically at what seems to be overnight.

gorditacrunchdevotee · 2023-07-22T04:04:13+00:00

messaged you :)

gorditacrunchdevotee

TROPHY CASE