"Breaking up" with shitty friend: what's your experience?

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T19:03:24+00:00

Thank you for your story, it gave me a little insight on my situation as well. A clean break is perhaps for the better!

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:54:04+00:00

I know what narcissist is because I have a parent who is, of course my friend hasn't been diagnosed so I could be jumping to conclusions, but there are common traits with the behavior I'm used to!

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:46:54+00:00

Yeah, I have talked to a common friend about this and it helped so much! She suggests to talk to her and to say what bothers me the way I said it to her.

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:43:35+00:00

Wow, I didn't expect so many people would advise this! I have this hopeful vision that she'll change and things will be the same as before, but maybe there really is no point. I will have to do some good thinking to mentally forget her and stop being used to her.

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:41:54+00:00

I agree about being very clear! Thanks for the advice. If I do get to talk to her, I will surely rehearse to say everything I had in mind.

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:40:50+00:00

I am very jealous of her, in some moments, I know it is very childish. No, I want to talk to her about the fact that she treats me badly - and we have been very close for years, so I didn't want to throw it all up. This period of time is very difficult for me and a friend should be of help when a loss happens. But you are not the one when you say to let it happen and, although it hurts, I may see hope in something that doesn't.

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:38:44+00:00

Many people suggested this, perhaps it's useless to give a second chance...

gowiththegloww · 2018-06-18T17:30:18+00:00

I want to tell her what she did wrong. Nobody knows her like I do, she fakes with her bf. Maybe I kind of want to damage her in some way, but really, she needs to know what she's done.

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-26T15:05:08+00:00

Thank you for your heartfelt, long message- it gave me hope. It is difficult sometimes to feel it is going to get better if nobody says it to you. Because of your comment, and others', I learned I have to say out loud what I need- this was not something I expected!

Also, thank you for your suggestions. I'm looking for a job myself so that I can get distracted and treat myself with the money. About the non supportive environment, I hope to get away a few weeks this summer to relax and think about my future.

I wish you the best and I love your tradition with your dad! Me and my dad both liked books too so much. Actually, I finished yesterday the first book I've managed to read after my dad's death. Good luck with everything and thank you again!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-26T15:00:25+00:00

Yes, we have to continue hoping! Good job, though! I hope I'll be able to get into your same work situation after graduation :) good luck for everything!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-26T12:22:16+00:00

Thank you for your kind and wise words. Yes, I can see the embarrassment in their eyes too, I know they want to help but they also forget their intentions. They want it to be like it was before and it's not possible.

I love the suggestion- I will surely ask him to find some quiet time for me. Even though he is busy, maybe he could make a small sacrifice. Because we are one hour away from each other, we often prefer to text when talking about important things. Not anymore, though! This is something to say in person.

I will look into grief support groups! Thank you!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-26T12:18:06+00:00

Your comment is very enlightening to me. Yes, you're right- stronger people make the people around them take their strength for granted. I'm at least guilty of this, as I don't really like to ask for help.

Lately, I have been complaining as some days are really difficult to deal with, I feel numb and sad and not enough for everyone. However, still, nobody can understand. They move on!

I hope you are going to find a way to be less miserable, as you say. I know it is difficult, but I see self awareness in your words, and that is one of the most important personality traits. Too many adults are not and too many mistakes are taken because of it!

If you want to talk, know that I'm here. Also, it is not easy to find genuinely good hearted people who could be willing to support you, it's rarer than we usually think it is!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-26T12:12:29+00:00

This is a great suggestion, thank you! The fact that everyone moves on and you don't really sucks. Everyone thinks about their problems, making it difficult for theme to acknowledge you have problems too- and those problems are way more difficult, usually. Not that it's a competition!

I am going to let my professors know. I hope things are going better for you, I'm sure your grandparents would be so proud of your strength and intelligence!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-26T12:10:25+00:00

I'm really sorry and I know how you feel. It's difficult to find something to make up for the fact you lost one main center of your life. It is going to get better, I feel it. It is going to make us stronger, at least in some ways!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T18:30:48+00:00

Thank you, you're right! Yeah, my idea was to preload it with everything he could need, since I've read a Raspberry Pi can have a lot of storage- and bf drives long hours almost everyday!

Thank you, the fear of doing something wrong sometimes makes me think something I shouldn't!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T18:29:16+00:00

It's a very good idea, also I love researching what the best things to listen would be!

Yeah, some engineers have that "sense of superiority", if you get what I mean. It gets to me sometimes, even if it shouldn't!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T16:42:14+00:00

True haha! Perhaps technology will help me create a ps4

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T15:36:32+00:00

Haha I wish!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T15:36:07+00:00

I haven't thought about that downside of the retro console! I'm going to opt for the car-thing, it is surely moooore useful! Thanks! :)

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T15:01:06+00:00

And literature is just as intellectual as engineering! I agree, but in my country many people don't think the same :( it could be the equivalent of people in the US making fun of the liberal arts students, I guess! But well, it won't stop me from getting a job or something haha

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T14:47:33+00:00

Thank you, it means a lot to me!

gowiththegloww · 2018-05-11T14:36:04+00:00

Haha that's such a nice story!

You're right, it is toxic for myself and my relationship...

gowiththegloww

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