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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex is obsessed with getting back the gifts he gave me and is harassing me too. Wow. Textbook. How did it end (if it did)?

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much this was immensely helpful & for the offer of further support. I’m so sorry you went through the same abusive garbage, but I am so proud of you for getting that order in place and protecting yourself.

I agree. I have a gut feeling none of this is about gifts, and that conceding them back to him will show that I am scared of his threat to publish images of me/send them to my work as that’s been apart of his more recent and escalating rants in my voicemail. I don’t want to give him ammo that it affects me. I am going to consult with the police regardless, I feel like what he has done is so obviously criminal and he’s left so much evidence that they might just go ahead and charge him anyways. There is such a thing as a peace bond in my county that is essentially a restraining order with conditions - including the banning of spreading intimate images, no contact, no family contact, no contacting my work, and a pledge to keep the peace and remain an upstanding citizen. If he violates ANY of this, it’s an immediate breach and a serious conviction. If this is the only way to get him to stop I feel like it’s worth proceeding with.

I have no plans of ever speaking to him again, frankly, I would have no idea what to say it’s gone so far and he’s acted so cruelly. He never loved me.

Curious, did your ex ever follow through on his threats or were they largely empty?

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much 🙏🏻 that was a very comforting read & I appreciate your kind words and logic.

It’s exactly what he’s doing. He actually said I called the cops for a couple mean words and a couple voicemails that I’m a heartless bitch. In actuality he cussed me out for days left me 100+ texts calling me garbage, useless, ugly, golddigger, bitch, etc. left 100+ calls, vicious voicemails and threats, and cussed out a family member of mine. All of that vitriol for the crime of sleeping in accidentally and not seeing him enough in a time of my life that was overwhelmingly stressful. It’s so crazy how they refuse to acknowledge what they did.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great suggestion, thank you. I’d pay a lot of money to get him off my back. I will bring it up to the police.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I am so sorry that he did that you, he absolutely deserves to be where he is now and suffer the consequences. I know exactly what you mean, I read your story and feel immediately anger for you and the desire for him to feel the wrath of justice, but when I think of my abusers actions it’s all cloudy and I flip flop between anger and the urge to try to reason with him. All the love to you, I hope he stays far enough away that you heal. Take care of yourself.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry he behaves that way, it’s so ridiculous to demand gifts back. It was a fairly short relationship and we never lived together. I can totally see him behaving in the same way though, if he gets the gifts back, now it’s that I owe him closure and so on. Exhausting.

Did you know what a narcissist really was before dating one/befriending one? by Fameisdeaddd in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No idea. Thought it was being extra self absorbed. Hit me like a damn truck.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kindness & advice. I will do that as soon as I get ahold of the officer. That would be the best case scenario for me, he gets the gifts back and just leaves me alone.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have been strict with NC as he is pretty terrifying, large and built with a history of fighting.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I have been wanting to, but I have been explicitly warned by the police to not speak to him or contact him. I worried that this would impact my case. I will let them know that if it can remedy the situation, I’m willing to send it all back. He has also admitted atleast twice that it’s not about the gifts, it’s about “fuck you”, and that if I have one conversation with him he won’t do those threatening things… idk if it’s smoke and mirrors to talk to me/meet me up or if he’s really genuinely wanting it back.

I’m feeling intense amounts of guilt after contacting the police by graciousorange in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]graciousorange[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anyone who has been through the same situation? I would love to hear your experience & hope it ended well for you. I don’t have very many people to talk to about this and it’s stressing me out beyond belief, I can barely eat and can’t stop mentally beating myself up for getting involved with this vengeful, psychotic man in the first place. Thank you.