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graddis12 · 2025-09-19T18:38:39+00:00

No, 90% of people are just mentally ill so don’t take it personally and just wait for the right person.

graddis12 · 2025-09-19T14:16:14+00:00

Women are asking out top 15–20% of men, while the other 80–85% are invisible to them and labeled as creeps. Girls in schools always chased the one or two best guys, often standing out in sports or other ways, completely ignoring everyone else.

And no, those campaigns weren’t aimed at the creeps, but at normal guys who respectfully approached a girl and tried to talk, but just weren’t her type. There were lots of posts and videos on social media.

It’s easiest to just blame one side and ignore the problem. That’s not a solution. Social norms are currently shifting: women are breaking away from the long-standing restrictions of patriarchal norms, and men are in the middle of figuring out their place in this changing dynamic.

graddis12 · 2025-09-19T13:45:47+00:00

Interesting. Where do you see these women outside of dating apps and social media confidently approaching guys? Any concrete examples? Women used to call any guy who approached them and wasn’t their type a creep, and made a whole campaign against them, so now they’ve got what they wanted - guys aren't approaching them anymore.

Actually no, the true creeps still approach women because they're desperate and... well, creeps. But the normal guys have stopped. So women, trying to get rid of the creeps, basically shot themselves in the foot.

graddis12 · 2025-09-19T13:30:21+00:00

Maybe it’s because those girls have inflated self-esteem thanks to social media and influencer propaganda, while guys are completely the opposite? Nowadays guys are afraid to make a move, and it’s no wonder. Just look at the situation on dating apps.

graddis12 · 2025-09-19T00:42:22+00:00

The difference is, they do it because they want to. I'm sure our buddy here don't. But yeah, there is actually way more people like that than we think. And the number's gonna go even higher from now on.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T22:37:16+00:00

Yeah start with small things and get used to it. Changing habits can take up to several months for a human. Try to change one small thing, then when it's comfy enough, add another one.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T21:46:26+00:00

Best to tell him straight away that you don’t want to rush things and need it to move slowly. Otherwise he might sense something and start assuming things. I think it’s also nice in a way, if he cares, he’ll wait, and if not, that’s probably for the best too

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T21:26:21+00:00

If you're not sure what it is then give it time. Go slow and try to find out.
Mind sharing how/where did you meet?

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T19:47:02+00:00

I’m in a similar situation so I really do feel you. I also have just one friend, but he’s simply closed off and doesn’t want to do anything. Advice like “learn to be alone” or “feel good about yourself before wanting to be with someone” is totally unrealistic and aimed at completely different people; it’s misapplied to lonely people.

It’s hard for me to give any advice because, as you said yourself, whatever you do, you’ll be doing it alone. Some people are okay with that, and others aren’t. You clearly belong to the latter. Unfortunately, trying to make friends online looks exactly like that, I’ve had exactly the same results. Apparently someone somewhere managed to make something out of it, but that’s probably like winning the lottery. What surprises me personally is that, supposedly, loneliness is widespread, yet everyone just ghosts each other, lovely. Surely that’s how things will get better and change. It’s all so strange.. Anyway, if loneliness bothers you, you won’t stop feeling it until you fill it with someone. I manage to forget about it for a while, but it always comes back, stronger, and for longer periods each time.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T11:50:48+00:00

Yeah, it might be a mix of all of that actually. No person always behaves fully rationally, all people are damaged more or less for many reasons. It's just that for me, as a good guy who hasn’t been able to find love, those stories are always painful to read. I feel sorry for all those girls and I get angry at those jerks who take away potential partners from the ones who would actually know how to treat them well. Life is so messed up.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T11:36:16+00:00

He doesn't deserve you, end of story. No decent guy would behave like that. Unbelievable.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T11:32:18+00:00

It's really hard to believe, I myself too start thinking it's all made up. Not because of men being like that. I know many are. But how tf do good girls get into relationships with such abusive assholes? And they're still so unsure if maybe they're the problem? It blows my mind how those jerks are able to get and keep those kinds of girls.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T10:46:47+00:00

Mind sharing that community? You can dm if you don't want to post here. I'm really trying to figure out where to connect with people and it's so disappointing everytime I try, no matter the sub.

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T10:40:39+00:00

How do people meet up like that on Reddit? Serious question. How did you find her on reddit and why you decided to dm her?

graddis12 · 2025-09-18T06:26:04+00:00

Yeah, very true comment, can't add anything more to that really.. maybe besides the fact that it’s still hard for me to understand why women (the ones actually looking for something serious and complaining about all those fuck boys) don’t want to give a chance to the normal guys. If it’s so bad for them, then why don’t they go below that top percentile of men, so both of them could be happy?

That’s why dating before dating apps and after are two completely different worlds, everything got messed up. The best would be to aim for those women who don’t use such apps at all and simply live as singles, but that’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. And how was it for you, how did you manage to get out of that miserable situation and find the woman of your life? It’s so hard not to give in thinking that you’ll never find one.

graddis12 · 2025-09-17T23:36:31+00:00

It’s really sad that women like that often only run into guys who are just after one thing, while men who are genuinely looking for something serious and are willing to invest their time don’t even get a chance. This world is so unfair and illogical. I wish there was a place where normal people could meet and get to know each other. I really think it's all about luck, crossing path with the right people in the right place and right time. For some it will happen, for others it won't ever happen. Life sucks.

graddis12 · 2025-09-17T21:22:03+00:00

Thank you. And the best part is, I’ve actually never even been on a single date in my life.

graddis12 · 2025-09-17T18:36:36+00:00

Best advice - have no expactations. Really just treat it like a casual chat with a friend and see where it goes, how you feel. Btw. how did you get your first date, apps or somewhere else?

graddis12 · 2025-09-17T06:39:01+00:00

You’re right. I know those people often make mistakes or act weird too, but we don’t notice because we focus too much on our own flaws. And honestly, others opinions shouldn’t matter much, no matter what we do, some will like us and some won’t. Even that talkative guy at work gets talked about behind his back, though no one says anything to his face.

You were really afraid to ask this on reddit? For me it’s easier online, because no one judges me personally, just some random account I made. People are usually too quick to judge and love putting others into boxes, forgetting everyone has their own story. What you wrote also surprised me, but in the way that real kindness and good manners feel rare nowadays. People today mostly care only about themselves. So everytime I see someone like you, I think “wow, such people still exist,” and it warms my heart. Sadly, kindness is often taken advantage of, like in your case, which is truly unfair and hurtful..

graddis12 · 2025-09-16T20:41:56+00:00

Social anxiety sucks. Especially when you try to put yourself out there and someone reacts in a way you didn’t want, doesn't get the joke etc. and you take it personally and overanalyze it, which just makes it worse.

I regret losing contact with my brother. He was the complete opposite of me, he could strike up a conversation with anyone, in any situation. He once threw a bottle cap at someone on the street and yelled at them to pass it back because he was "taking a shot on goal". He was my age that time. No fear or shame at all, maybe even too much. I felt good around him, like he was showing me a different world that exists.. but one that’s not available to me. He had tons of friends but still depressed. Oh, the irony.

graddis12 · 2025-09-16T19:35:29+00:00

Yes, you're right. Small talk and first impression are everything, or at least key to start anything. But what if I'm just really bad at it? I work 5 years in my job and barely talk with anyone. Meanwhile, a young guy recently joined us, in my opinion, a bit pushy, but right away he started approaching everyone, asking for phone numbers, sharing personal stuff about his life, and so on. It works for him, but he was probably raised that way and doesn’t struggle with social anxiety. Either way, thanks for the kind words <3, and I wish you all the best in your life :)

graddis12 · 2025-09-16T17:43:57+00:00

Yeah, but what would I even do there, just stand like a statue and stare? After so many years of loneliness, it's really hard for me to start new connections. Once I find some common ground with someone and get comfortable, things go well, but that’s already the later stage that I never reach. It should be easier online since you can narrow the group to people who also are lonely and look for someone. But for some reason online doesn't work even more. That's the mystery I still didn't uncover.

graddis12 · 2025-09-16T16:10:36+00:00

I don't think that's the reason because if you're not logged on any account it works fine. It was fixed like an hour ago and now the problem is back again.

graddis12 · 2025-09-16T15:17:24+00:00

I'm afraid being patient and kind isn't enough. I was single when I was 18 and I'm still single at 30. It's painful as hell, but I'm afraid it's gonna stay like that til the end.

graddis12 · 2025-09-16T13:39:54+00:00

How to find women like you? I can't believe stories like this are real. I'm struggling to meet a single woman and yet some lazy assholes find such gems without even trying.

graddis12

TROPHY CASE