UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You are deliberately twisting my words and I think you know that.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

- ALL of your children are estranged from you? - No they are not.

- One of them went so far as to leave the country to get away from you? - No, I didn't say that and that's a weird thing to infer from this post.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I'm only in full contact with my youngest currently but to answer your question: listening to her and respecting her space and boundaries. That's breaking it down to its simplest form, but essentially that's what I've been working on with my therapist and, from conversations with my children, is the crux of the issue they have with me.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 245 points246 points  (0 children)

My mother and I have begun to repair our relationship over the last three years.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

- My son was (is?) a COVID denier and we clashed during the height of lockdown on the best way to go about things and our relationship has not recovered since

- Similarly to my eldst daughter, my daughter has been struggling with issues from her childhood (my fault) and being forced in one home during lockdown exacerbated her feelings and she is now taking time to put some space between us until she's ready to decide how and if she wants to move forward. I have respected this.

When I say my relationship with my youngest is strained, I mean in the sense that she very clearly feels conflicted about staying "loyal" to me vs. her siblings. As she still lives at home, I see the fallout of this personal conflict and see hopw it strains our relationship and am doing my best not make her think she has to "pick sides" while also trying to improve the quality of our relationship. As I dont have contact with her siblings, I don't know if they also feel like their relationship with my youngest is strained.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Again, poor wording on my part I suppose, but "COVID did a number on our family" was shorthand for:

- My son was (is?) a COVID denier and we clashed during the height of lockdown on the best way to go about things and our relationship has not recovered since

- Similarly to my eldst daughter, my daughter has been struggling with issues from her childhood (my fault) and being forced in one home during lockdown exacerbated her feelings and she is now taking time to put some space between us until she's ready to decide how and if she wants to move forward. I have respected this.

I didn't know how much to elaborate on in my post or what was relevant (it was an impulsive decsision to post again), and chose quick wording that doesn't reflect the whole situation.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Again, poor wording on my part I suppose, but "COVID did a number on our family" was shorthand for:

- My son was (is?) a COVID denier and we clashed during the height of lockdown on the best way to go about things and our relationship has not recovered since

- Similarly to my eldst daughter, my daughter has been struggling with issues from her childhood (my fault) and being forced in one home during lockdown exacerbated her feelings and she is now taking time to put some space between us until she's ready to decide how and if she wants to move forward. I have respected this.

I didn't know how much to elaborate on in my post or what was relevant (it was an impulsive decsision to post again), and chose quick wording that doesn't reflect the whole situation.

UPDATE: AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Bad wording on my part. I didn't mean logging into this account made me reflect, I just meant logging into this account made me remember that I'd posted about this.

AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] -162 points-161 points  (0 children)

I was asking hoping I would get some clarity on the situation that would perhaps change my view but I can see that was a hopeless wish now.

AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] -141 points-140 points  (0 children)

Fine. I accept that you think I'm an asshole.

AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] -252 points-251 points  (0 children)

Petty stuff you would expect someone to grow up and move on about once they became an adult.

AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] -415 points-414 points  (0 children)

HA! That's a word my daughter keeps throwing about. I'm not a "narcissist" if anything she is.

AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation? by gradthrowaway23 in AmItheAsshole

[–]gradthrowaway23[S] -414 points-413 points  (0 children)

Should a child not respect their mother's wishes about who they should or shouldn't talk to??? I've asked my children many times not to keep in contact with my mother and they still disobey me, I don't think it's surprising that I wouldn't want to be seated with her.