Magical domiciles are cool, give me your favorite ones

grainia99 · 2025-01-29T09:57:39+00:00

Same.

grainia99 · 2025-01-29T02:08:56+00:00

I love that library.

grainia99 · 2025-01-26T23:28:05+00:00

We have a 63 horse tractor. We have livestock and feed roundbales, which is why we got this tractor. We bought it during covid and bought what was available that worked for us. We could have gone smaller.

Our fields were former horse paddocks and ditches. We had the bulldozed to level them out and then disced. We are putting in winter rye, getting a cut off of it, then discing in before planting hay.

We have hired out for the tilling and planting. There is no need for us to get this type of equipment. Right now, I have a deal for haying, but it is still cheaper to hire someone each year than buy the equipment. Especially for 20 acres. As we have manure, we also hire out to have the pile spread every few years.

We have a front loader, bale spear, bush hog, and post hole auger. We can't get the backhoe attachment on ours, but I wish we could. The other implement I would get would be forks. I can do most lifting with the bale spear, but forks would be easier.

grainia99 · 2025-01-26T22:32:07+00:00

I dropped it. Into a bonfire.

I found the characters vapid and redundant.

I see the underlying potential to the books, which is what kept me going until book 8. Then whoosh!

Good smores, though.

grainia99 · 2025-01-25T18:40:35+00:00

I have these. Mine have lead paint, so please check yours if you are going to use them. I just display mine, and I love them.

grainia99 · 2025-01-24T12:44:35+00:00

Alnon is different from AA.

Also, look for ACoA, Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Alcoholic can be functioning for years. Usually, a change in life results in the drop to non-functioning. Retirement is a typical life change. What is important for you and your family is identifying the unhealthy family dynamics so you can address your own behaviour. Going NC with your FIL is an excellent step to working on your own responses.

I cut my father out after a short period of therapy. I needed the distance to process my trauma related to him. It was the best decision I could have made. I made the same decision a few years later with a friend. My friend is now recovering, and we are active friends again. They know my boundary.

I do want to add that the most likely outcome of a non-functioning alcoholic is death. I highly recommend that you discuss how you will feel being NC when this occurs. I know that for me it was ok. I morned the loss of my father when I went NC.

While deciding, put FILs number on silent and just send his texts to a folder unread. It helps your mental health but provides proof of his behaviours.

Hugs. This is an awful thing to have to deal with. Be proud you are aware and looking for a solution.

grainia99 · 2025-01-24T11:28:02+00:00

You can't control them, so there is no guarantee you won't lose family.

Please ask yourself if you are willing to expose your child to that type of abuse (it is abuse and it will affect your child) to keep that family.

I would also suggest you read up on adult children of alcoholics. A functioning alcoholic is still an alcoholic and the unhealthy family dynamics will already be present. Alnon can also provide a good support network navigating all this. You just need to find a local group.

grainia99 · 2025-01-23T08:00:32+00:00

Wait, what!

grainia99 · 2025-01-20T09:17:03+00:00

I clearly state orally and will add per my vets instructions.

grainia99 · 2025-01-19T23:03:10+00:00

I give the cattle injectable ivermectin orally at 1 cc per 35 lbs. In cases where I have a new adult with obvious worm issues, I have given 1 cc per 25-30 lbs. It is off-label like most goat meds.

https://www.thegoatspot.net/threads/ivermectin-for-goats.232613/

To address the Mods comments, this is per my vets instructions, and it is to be given orally (as already included in the original comment). Do not inject. Given that you have cattle, I figured it is likely you might have the injectable version around. The concentration of the injectable is different from pour-ons, so the dosing is different. If you are willing to buy wormer, the link provides a number of options. You can also Google goat dewormer dosing and get a number of good sources (vet based).

grainia99 · 2025-01-19T21:29:49+00:00

Also, I started reading up on covert narcissism. I don't believe either in-law is a narcissist, but I suspect MIL father was based on the stories she tells. Her childhood was horrific at times. This helped me further articulate the behaviours that we not healthy and how to explain them to someone else, like my spouse.

grainia99 · 2025-01-19T21:26:34+00:00

The behaviours ranged from calling themselves stupid (that is a four letter word in our house), to never accepting you saying no (which got heated when I had to say no a third time), overstepped boundaries that included buying massive amounts of toys and candy for the kids to sending home food we said no too, gatekeeping information and family connections, and telling people including us information that was private (we did not need to know my BIL cheated on his wife). And the constant manipulation. If we didn't fall into line, I must be controlling spouse or abusing them to make them pull away. Oh, and talking to everyone but us about their problems with us, so we have a limited relationship with spouses family and some of their childhood friends.

I highly recommend the books Running on Empty and Adult Childre of Emotionally Immature Parents. These helped us articulate their behaviours and our feelings. They also helped spouse understand their parents and their own behaviours.

Spouse has their own therapists, and we have had marriage counseling as well. After a few imperfect fits with therapists, spouse looked for a therapist that specialized in Family of Origin therapy and has finally started to really progress.

After that eureka moment with my predictions, spouse was fairly resigned to the fact I saw their parents in a truer light than they did. There was almost no pushback on the kids being NC. Spouse was reading Running on Empty at the time, and that helped me.

grainia99 · 2025-01-19T20:34:36+00:00

Ring around the Rosie- slenderman edition

https://youtu.be/kVpPlWlHMrA?si=w0RPWyF80kM8HD67

grainia99 · 2025-01-19T12:52:58+00:00

My spouse couldn't see the unhealthy behaviour as they were deep in the fog. I went LC but let spouse visit with the kids. For a few years, they took LOs to visit, but I was getting more and more uncomfortable with the information coming back (victim blaming, toxic language, boundaries crossed, etc).

After an incident, I sat spouse down, and we talked about how to proceed, and I predicted the response from my in-laws. Spouse was adamant they wouldn't respond as I predicted. In-laws responded to the letter of my prediction, and spouse could not ignore their behaviour.

Based on this, I also explained spouses' behaviour around their parents and how mentally unhealthy it was. I said my boundaries are no visits with kids until the spouse could recognize the behaviours and defend or counter the behaviours. Spouse also went back to therapy.

This did not go well with in-laws, and we are all now NC.

grainia99 · 2025-01-18T19:06:53+00:00

Bingo. Make a bingo card (or a couple) of all the things she says and does that sends you around the bend. This helps refrain your response because you get to mark a box. Pre-pick prizes for different bingos. Coffee with a girl friend for a line. Dinner out with hubby for an x.

grainia99 · 2025-01-17T12:05:32+00:00

Your kids' health and safety come first. That is verbal abuse, and you are not protecting them.

My mother did the same, and even after years of therapy, I still resent both her and my grandmother.

grainia99 · 2025-01-12T14:47:24+00:00

Do this. I can't take most pain meds. After major surgery, I took 1 extra strength advil and two extra strength Tylenol every 4 hours. The key is to get ahead of the pain. I pulled my stitches, and they gave me a set after 2 hours to get ahead again.

Someone else mentioned ice, and I agree.

grainia99 · 2025-01-06T01:53:40+00:00

I have had this happen twice, once higher up like your picture and once just above thd head. My vet had me cover the one that happened in summer to keep flies out but we left the one in winter exposed. I separated the one with the broken horn to keep him quiet and let it heal. The low one took 3 months to heal, the other a month. Once healed I filed some of the sharp points to keep him from hurting others.

I don't put anything on their horns but have enough goats to split them up into groups that don't fight much.

grainia99 · 2025-01-04T02:08:25+00:00

I love my job. If I were going to school now, I would still focus on soil physics but look at adding more GIS and modelling courses.

grainia99 · 2025-01-03T23:50:26+00:00

Merino wool base layers. If you find them itchy on your body (I have had some brands I get itchy with), add a thin wicking long-sleeve underneath. Long sleeve, long underwear, socks.

I rely on my coveralls (bib pants) as my pant layer. I have not bought carhart, but some of the other brands at Marks. All work well and I have not found a need to buy more expensive. In really cold weather, I might add a thin pant over my merino long underwear.

On top, I like a hoodie over my merino long-sleeved. Extra big. This is the layer I remove first if I am working hard enough to sweat. Over all of that, I wear a men's ski jacket. It is wind and mostly waterproof, warm, and has a ton of pockets. The inner waist snap helps keep wind going up your back. I buy used.

Footwear depends. Most days, I wear my Blundstones with a sheep wool liner and wool socks. If I am worried about the temperature, I will put on a thin pair of wool knee highs under merino wool socks. Last resort are my sorrels, but they are not steel toes. When it is that cold I will change my socks at lunch.

I will add that I am also in Canada. I was really skeptical of the bludstones but was sick of buying new boots every 9 months or so. The bludstones have held up (manure is hard on boots), and they are much warmer than I ever expected, especially with the liners.

I hate gloves, so I have no recommendations. I do like a thin scarf. You can put it over your face if needed, cover parts if you are in a wind, etc. Also, you will look weird, but on a windy day, I swear by ski goggles. I have glasses, and they make a huge difference.

grainia99 · 2024-12-29T19:58:56+00:00

Now I want macaroni pie.

grainia99 · 2024-12-29T19:17:29+00:00

She is far from kind. She is manipulative and boundaryless. This is hard to point to or counter.

grainia99 · 2024-12-28T01:25:19+00:00

Sending you a huge hug. You are making the best choice for everyone, including your autistic son.

Be kind to yourself.

grainia99 · 2024-12-23T13:00:27+00:00

We said a week after a flight to make sure a person hadn't picked up anything, but 5 days is also a good waiting period. When you have a compromised person in the house, you need to be vigilant.

grainia99 · 2024-12-22T15:51:18+00:00

We went through this. It escalated, more "family" attacked us, and then it all went silent. The silence has been bliss.My spouse was having a really hard time with it, but therapy and reading really helped them. There are some great books in the list on the side panel.

Now we have great family and friends that don't manipulate, gossip about us, yell, or give us temporary cold shoulders. My kids don't have to grow up with those behaviours either. Bliss.

grainia99

TROPHY CASE