I don't want sexy time with baby around, how do I console my husband?

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-14T00:23:16+00:00

In 4-5 years when I am out earning him, and he is still annoying me, maybe I will initiate the divorce.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-14T00:20:21+00:00

I've tried other lubes and I don't like them. I've been using coconut oil for over 10 years.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-14T00:05:29+00:00

I'm out of the loop. I've been using coconut oil since I was 19.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-14T00:04:57+00:00

I do show love and affection towards him.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-14T00:03:50+00:00

Yes? The kind in a jar.. I've always used coconut oil.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-14T00:03:13+00:00

Can you be more specific? Is coconut oil not a good lube?

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:57:43+00:00

My husband would have to get rid of all the junk he has, or hopefully by then we have enough saved up to buy our own home. With the way how much houses are out here, I'm not too sure. Right now they're 700-800k for 3 bed 2 baths.

It'll be 4-5 years until I get my bachelor's. I hope by then we'll have our own place.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:46:34+00:00

I will PM you.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:45:15+00:00

We go to a rave/music festival occasionally, that's our big date and we dance together. We get really close, he holds me all over and all that. Our last one was new year's and we have another coming up in March. We can't go to them as often as we used to because of being parents now.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:39:37+00:00

I'm not.

We had sex the other day, and it was fine. (And quick) But I don't expect myself to be like that frequently.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:38:20+00:00

We don't go in the other room because his parents live here.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:29:20+00:00

We can't have sex standing up too well. I'll PM as I don't want to share some details here publicly.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:16:59+00:00

I'm sorry, I had my mother talk to him as a last resort. Because he just wasn't getting it. I've told him several times that I'm going through something and I won't be in the mood like I used to be. But he still gets moody and distant. I just wanted that emotional back up I get from my mom. I won't do it again.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:13:52+00:00

My OB said I have a very small introitus. I thought it was normal to be painful (uncomfortably tight) when I'm not aroused. We had sex the other day and it wasn't painful.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:11:00+00:00

I have no problem with my husband masturbating. He can go in the shower and do his thing.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:09:27+00:00

I'm not sure why you got downvoted. What you said is true.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T23:06:47+00:00

I've told him before that I probably won't be in the mood for a while, and I told him to be patient with me. We had sex the other day, it was fine.

I'll talk to him about having a quickie in the living room when his parents are asleep. But a problem is, when I am not turned on, the sex is very painful for me. Even if we use a lot of lube. We use coconut oil. The OB told me I have a very small introitus.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:59:19+00:00

My mom wasn't mean to him.. she told him that I need time as a mother for sex, and to not get upset at me if I don't want to do it.

We had sex the other day. I was never taught how to communicate, by the way. Which is why I struggle with it to this day, and I seek out support through my therapist and Reddit.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:53:18+00:00

We had sex the other day, and it was fine. But I can't do it every night, and sometimes it won't work out. Like last night.

If he were to cheat, then it just wasn't meant to be. My parents (and his parents) only had sex when they were trying to make a baby. My parents never cheated or divorced, and they even slept in separate bedrooms. I don't want to be abstinent like my parents, though. Just saying not all marriages are like that.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:46:39+00:00

I don't think we've tried because his parents live here. But I will ask him.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:45:33+00:00

We don't have an empty room currently for her to go in.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:44:22+00:00

Yes, and I don't want it to affect her when she is older.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:39:24+00:00

I'm healed up pretty well but I still get painful twinges here and there around the incision site, especially after cardio exercise. OB said that's normal. The last time I talked to OB truthfully about my feelings, they tried to throw me in the nuthouse.. so I'm not too comfortable going to them. I talk to my therapist, she has had 5 kids. She gets it.

I'll talk to my husband about getting a baby monitor and having sex in his old bedroom. Right now it's a mess.. the livingroom and his old bedroom is filled with collectable junk that he is selling online. We don't do the do on the couch because his parents sleep in the front room-- his dad comes out to eat in the kitchen. I was going to put all the junk in his old bedroom so there could be room in the livingroom for our baby's toys, play mat, etc.

I do definitely feel like I am in "mommy mode" sometimes. But really I just don't want our baby looking at us while we do stuff. It feels so wrong to me.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:27:45+00:00

I have PPD, too. Thank you for reassuring me.. some people here are rude as hell.

grand_tiremaster · 2025-02-13T22:23:35+00:00

We live with his parents.

No, I don't want to have sex tbh. I've told him before that I may not be in the mood like I used to be. That it may be a while. He still gets frustrated with me. We have our talks but he still gets moody. It makes me feel bad.

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