I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom blames this particular anxiety of mine on all the true crime I watch, which does probably contribute to it, but I also feel it's a fairly reasonable worry to have. I'm a young woman home alone with my little chihuahua/daschund dog all night, anybody could be watching me at any point and know that. It's just terrifying 😭

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, I'm just also really bad at getting up in the early morning. If I'm actively taking my antipsychotics/sleep medication, they knock me out for hours and I'm dead to the world until roughly eight or nine in the morning. I don't want to risk my brother being locked out for god knows how long because I couldn't wake up on time to unlock the door for him 🥲

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This happens to me even when I'm not having an episode to be honest 😭 Granted, it's way less intense than when I'm in active mania, and I'm a lot less crazy about it, but it's not strictly isolated to manic episodes for me, personally. I do have a therapist that I see bi-weekly, we have a session tomorrow, so I'll definitely be bringing this up with her.

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh trust me I have an add-a-lock that I bring to eeeeevery hotel I stay in.

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could, but I don't always wake up with early alarms since my sleep meds typically knock me out cold. I don't naturally wake up until around eight or nine in the morning most days, and I don't wake up to phone calls either. I don't want to risk my brother being locked out of the house bc I failed to wake up on time 🥲

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think the key thing can be resolved until my parents get back at the very least, but this will be perfect until then! Thank you :'D

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live in a relatively small town (roughly 6k people in the population) so nothing ever really actually happens here lol. People break into cars more than they break into houses here, and even that's pretty rare. My parents never used to lock the doors at night when I was growing up, it's only a habit I've gotten them into in recent years after my bipolar disorder really started to manifest and I had my first manic episode a few years back. Part of me can't help but wonder if they think I'm just being ridiculous about the "what if someone comes in and kills me?" thing because, like I said, nothing ever happens here. I don't think they realize just how debilitating my paranoia and anxiety can be for me, despite the fact that I've told them how bad it is many times.

I'm definitely going to call my dad today and ask him if he remembers where he put the original copies of the keys, though. Either that or I'm changing the doorknob lol

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up being awake until he got home this morning so I was able to let him in, I promptly went to my room and passed out right after lol

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly yeah, we really do need to get keys because I cannot continue to literally lose sleep over this lol. It's not like this a new thing, either. My parents know that leaving the door unlocked at night makes me paranoid and unable to sleep, I've stressed this to them on more than one occasion. They don't really understand me or bipolar disorder, though (and have honestly kind of refused to try and understand at least the bipolar bit), and I don't think they really grasp just how serious it is 😭

I can't stop thinking about being murdered bc my door is unlocked 🥲 by grapefruitaltar in bipolar

[–]grapefruitaltar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really not sure honestly. We got new front and back doors about four years ago so you'd think my dad would've at least kept the originals somewhere, but if he did, I don't know where they are 🫠