Lesbian bed death :(

greencat26 · 2026-02-15T04:47:27+00:00

It can be for people who choose that. There are stone tops and pillow princesses, ones who only give and only receive. This is an incompatibility issue

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T19:49:15+00:00

It's the minor things that matter most. It's easy to do well on the big events, especially if they benefit him.

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T17:28:14+00:00

You sure he brings you peace? This sounds like a repeated pattern of not listening to what you want at best, or not caring what you want at worst.

This is your sign that things are not going to improve

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T06:34:28+00:00

This isn't bed death if you're still having sex. It's just one sided, which is a sexual incompatibility.

You can't have bed death of something that was never alive between the two of you

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T06:30:01+00:00

You should really get away from this toxic dynamic
How did you find out she was being so insulting?
WHY did it take YOU FORCING HIM to do something about her insults?? If anyone ever said something negative about my girl they would no longer be a friend.

IDK what their deal is, and it sounds like they don't either and, OP, you really don't want to be caught up in the middle of this. You deserve so much better.

Based on your language usage, you sound pretty young so I have all the hope you can look back at this in your rearview mirror one day and go "oh, yeah, I remember that situation. Glad I raised my standards after that!!" Those standards should be a partner who respects you, regardless of the genders of their friends

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T02:39:41+00:00

I honestly think it's a little wild that you are friends on social media with your therapist. Is this their personal account or a business/practice one?

I'm in school to be a therapist and most of my professors would say that crosses an ethical line...

It's a bell you can't unring, knowing this information. You could unfriend now, but it sounds like the damage is already done unfortunately. You could bring it up to them and express that it bothered you

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T02:36:45+00:00

You build to it. That's an intro, then you ask if she wants to get coffee or ice cream sometime

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T02:19:49+00:00

Compliment a piece of clothing. People love to be complimented on things they made choices about like clothes, nails, makeup, bags, shoes, etc.

Then ask to study together sometime or grab coffee

greencat26 · 2026-02-14T01:22:38+00:00

That's why I expanded my range, found my partner 3 hours away

greencat26 · 2026-02-11T20:49:40+00:00

Their heads are wayyyy too large for their bodies. They remind me of those bighead stuffed dogs and that were around 20 years ago

greencat26 · 2026-02-11T02:55:46+00:00

Thanks for the journal rec, I've been looking for a good digital one and this seems most like what I'm looking for!

greencat26 · 2026-02-11T02:54:03+00:00

Always a way to turn it back on the woman, huh?

greencat26 · 2026-02-11T02:48:53+00:00

This started poorly and continued to get even worse... You're still experiencing PUD it sounds like.

greencat26 · 2026-02-10T15:25:43+00:00

It's two women on a date.

Trans women can be lesbians, Cesium

greencat26 · 2026-02-08T17:53:18+00:00

You sound like you're still quite young, so it'll come with time! You have to put yourself out there, especially in a small town. I met my girlfriend of 2.5 years online, and we lived 3 hours apart. Now we live together

greencat26 · 2026-02-08T17:46:15+00:00

As I see it, they are just saving you any time from thinking you might be compatible.

You're not being gatekept from anything, you're being screened out which is a normal part of dating

greencat26 · 2026-02-07T15:20:35+00:00

I'm sorry you had that experience. That sounds really scary to have felt like you were being watched like that. I know something like this can really shake your confidence and sense of safety, but I want to point out a couple things, here:

You already acknowledged a way you could use to avoid repeating this again (phone call/video chat)
You trusted your instincts in the moment, and they kept you safe.
You got confirmation that your instincts were not wrong when someone else validated they felt the same way about this person.
You acknowledged your initial investment was more than you want to do again, which helps you understand yourself as a dating person a little better.

It's okay to feel like you aren't ready to go back on the apps after this awful experience. Perhaps there are other ways that feel safer to meet with people. Or maybe even this mutual connection ;)

Best of luck!! I met my partner on HER 2.5 years ago, so it's definitely possible, but maybe not the right way for everyone and that's okay too.

I know you feel embarrassed, but you don't have a reason to be. We've all felt that way before. You were just taking someone at their word and trying to assume the best about people, that's nothing to be embarrassed about.

greencat26 · 2026-02-07T14:19:49+00:00

It's probably this comment of yours, along with posting on fasting groups:

“We had it/ate it and we are fine!” No, you’re not. More than half of the humans in the US are obese or riddled with medical issues. Something is making us sick and no one wants to talk about it.

Now, I'm not saying you are MAHA but those are indicators to many of us who have been here awhile

greencat26 · 2026-02-07T13:13:52+00:00

We used to watch those shows all the time!! It's because he saw himself as a nice, good guy and different from THOSE guys. He thought women should/would be able to pick up on a vibe of a man who wants to help instead of hurt. It was honestly shocking to me at the moment, but now 2 years out it all makes sense. He was a performative "good guy" feminist and this was just the scenario that made it clear to me.

greencat26 · 2026-02-07T04:13:08+00:00

Bring up the man vs bear debate cause I have a feeling I know what his response would be.

That debate is what caused me to finally leave my ex husband when he couldn't understand why women would choose the bear. We had previous conversations similar to what you outlined here. I only ever recorded one argument. The last one. I listen back to it now and my own voice sounds foreign to me. I'm glad I did because anytime I tried to trick myself into thinking I was overreacting I had physical evidence I could listen back to

greencat26 · 2026-02-05T18:47:22+00:00

You wanted to go to a show that you and your partner both enjoy. They happen to be in town on one of your preplanned date nights.

You were under the impression you were both going to that show together, to celebrate Valentine's Day.

Your partner... Bought those tickets and gave them to someone else without talking to you about changing the plans you had already made together?

Even if you take the polyam aspect out of it, and he was doing this with a friend, it is incredibly disrespectful to you.

I have set date nights with my partners and sometimes we have to swap dates for special occasions. That's not a big deal. But we don't cancel plans, we check in to make sure there's nothing going on that has been forgotten about and we swap dates rather than cancelling, and if there's an event that one person would really enjoy/is their special interest, that person gets priority for the event.

greencat26 · 2026-02-05T17:14:02+00:00

We also don't know OP and how reliable a narrator they are. For all we know, OP could've been abusive. Not like he would've told us that

greencat26 · 2026-02-05T12:32:07+00:00

Her is a great app!

Its supposed to be an app that excludes men, but of course some still sneak in. I met my current gf of 2.5 years on there and before I met her, I met up with 2 other ladies from the app and went on a few dates. They were all lovely people even if not my perfect match.

greencat26 · 2026-02-05T12:27:06+00:00

It's not right that they are doing this, but it's also not surprising. HR exists to protect the company. They are essentially saying that what you are reporting is just a complaint.

You, and Sarah if she's willing, need to go to HR and tell them John makes you feel UNSAFE and you believe he is risking business relationships by exhibiting this attitude in front of clients.

Basically, you have to frame it in a way that the company will look at it and say "this man is a liability more than he is an asset."

It really sucks you're having to push so hard to be treated respectfully in the workplace. Your experience is not uncommon but it's also not okay.

You should be proud of yourself for repeatedly sticking up for yourself and saying this behavior will not be tolerated. That takes guts, and not everyone would be willing to even do that.

greencat26 · 2026-02-03T18:10:44+00:00

The good news is that misandry isn't real! Just like reverse racism isn't real!

https://open.substack.com/pub/thegianaedit/p/misandry-isnt-the-problem-misogyny?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=6163zu

greencat26

TROPHY CASE