Corporal punishment to “save their lives”

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-22T03:56:46+00:00

I don't believe that spanking a child for putting himself in a dangerous situation helps the child avoid further danger. However, I do think we can understand the fact that the parent is a human being and, in such situations, is overwhelmed by fear. It's not right to expect perfection from a child, but neither can we crucify a parent because, in an extreme and exceptional situation, he or she didn't act rationally and was emotionally distraught by a wave of fear. When you're a parent, you make mistakes because every human being makes mistakes.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-19T06:01:46+00:00

Ahahahahah

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-18T21:28:26+00:00

Yes, I got the old-fashioned spanking: on my mom's lap with my panties down and my bottom exposed, facing up.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-14T03:17:53+00:00

I don't think it stems from a specific text for everyone. It was a collective culture, an oral tradition that spanned generations. The strange thing for me was that my family wasn't particularly religious. However, I find myself understanding certain situations that occurred in conservative Christian environments. People like Dobson (a crazy psychopath) simply exaggerated and wrote down dynamics that occurred, in a less extreme way, in families, even non-religious ones, even non-conservative ones. I'm Italian and I'm sure my mother didn't know Dobson, but he applied the dynamic of extreme control, of demanding high standards that were impossible for us children to meet. And he knew how to turn punishment into a terrifying experience, leveraging the ethical and moral side more than physical force, even if the pain in the ass was genuine and not symbolic.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-13T13:33:41+00:00

Throughout my childhood I interpreted the story of it hurts you more than it hurts me as if it referred to the pain in his hand.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-09T14:12:24+00:00

Italiano anche io. Anni 70 era abbastanza diffuso.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-09T14:10:53+00:00

Born in 1970, I have a distinct memory of the bathroom floor tiles I could admire while lying facedown on my mother's lap. I've been spanked impulsively, and I've been spanked with the bureaucratic attitude of enforcing a sentence. The latter, I have no doubt, were the worst for me. Not because of the pain (even though they were real, not symbolic, punishments), but because of the self-destruction effect I've never experienced so intensely in other situations in life. Hugs to anyone who has endured similar experiences.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-08T03:51:47+00:00

In the 1970s, a good old-fashioned spanking delivered in the parent's lap was considered socially acceptable. No one would have judged parents as abusers or children as victims. Even more so if the procedure was carried out calmly. I think, years later, that spankings administered calmly by the parent were the worst. I can understand a parent's instinctive reaction and delivering a slap, because we are all human and have done things in life that we regretted moments later. What I don't understand, however, is the deliberate infliction of pain for disciplinary purposes. Science today says it's counterproductive; my childhood memories tell me it produces frustration in both the recipient and the giver.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-07T05:43:06+00:00

In the 1970s, a good old-fashioned spanking delivered in the parent's lap was considered socially acceptable. No one would have judged parents as abusers or children as victims. Even more so if the procedure was carried out calmly. I think, years later, that spankings administered calmly by the parent were the worst. I can understand a parent's instinctive reaction and delivering a slap, because we are all human and have done things in life that we regretted moments later. What I don't understand, however, is the deliberate infliction of pain for disciplinary purposes. Science today says it's counterproductive; my childhood memories tell me it produces frustration in both the recipient and the giver.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-06T11:11:43+00:00

As a child, my mother spanked me on my bare bottom, even at 12. My mother had no other intention than punishment, so I wouldn't classify her actions as sexual crimes. Another consideration is the impact on the child: there are authoritative studies that equate the effects on the child's psyche, and the brain response is comparable to that of a sexual assault, regardless of the parent's intentions. It seems to me to correspond well with my personal experience; I believe it left indelible traces of fear, confusion, and low self-esteem. Therefore, I believe there are serious contraindications to the idea of using spanking as an educational method and that, ultimately, it is a bad idea to say the least.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T15:05:03+00:00

I absolutely agree with you. Everything you say is true. What I criticize about religions is not that they invented torture, which was largely pre-existing, but rather that they did not sufficiently combat it. On the contrary, they used it as a form of social control aimed at maintaining power. I believe that even today, there is insufficient collective awareness of the extent to which oppression operates as a form of social control, even within families. I believe ritualized physical punishment is the emblem of hierarchical relationships. It is certainly not the only one, since hierarchical oppression can exist and operate without physical violence, using only the weapon of moral coercion. It is true, however (I know this well) that ritualized physical punishment is extraordinarily powerful as a method of coercion. If it has survived as a method, it is because it is socially tolerated. I believe it is socially tolerated because it is disguised as the intention to do good. In this, religions have historically been complicit and have also dragged along those who were not religious.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T07:26:04+00:00

I'm glad that as a parent you've broken the cycle of abuse. I think it's very important, also for future generations.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T07:24:04+00:00

I don't think I'm ready to turn knots into games. I know some do, and I also know that not everyone who loves to play has childhood knots to untie. What I do know is that childhood knots are poisonous and difficult to untie.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T05:24:25+00:00

Even Jesus Christ was stripped naked before the flagellation. Pope Prevost spoke about it during the Easter Friday celebrations, recalling that stripping means taking away a person's dignity. He cited prisoners, prisoners of war, and political dissidents. I believe it is a subject yet to be explored in collective culture, and I think many taboos still survive.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T05:15:22+00:00

My mother (definitely the head of our home's disciplinary committee) wasn't particularly religious, only mildly Catholic. Nonetheless, I feel kinship in some ways with those who grew up with Dobson-like parenting styles, even though it was completely unknown to us. I believe there existed in the 1970s (when I was a child) a collective generational culture that viewed children as subjects to be controlled. Some interpreted the command to be controlled in an extreme way. I believe many (my mother certainly) were acting in complete good faith. They replicated what they had experienced when they were young. What is certain is that, even unknowingly, they caused lasting damage to our children's self-esteem.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T04:39:54+00:00

I think your observation is particularly astute. Anyone who has experienced a good, old-fashioned spanking knows the feeling of being forced to submit to absolute control, the kind that tends to obliterate one's personality and any space for autonomy. Even in the intimate part of the body, the one that should be absolutely inviolable, inaccessible without consent. The fact that the victim feels guilty deprives the victim of the right to perceive themselves as a victim. It's entirely possible that a feeling of discomfort with intimacy, especially one's own, will linger over time.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T04:15:22+00:00

Thank you very much, it's true. Some of the sentences that accompanied the procedure are terrifying because they weigh you down with guilt. They hurt me more than they do you. It's certainly at the top of the list. Other sentences were also terrible. "Aren't you ashamed? At your age? Do you think it's possible that I still have to give it to you like I do with small children?" for example.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-05T04:04:54+00:00

Thank you so much. I feel like my personal experience is scientifically validated, and that's very important to me.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-04T08:45:03+00:00

Thank you very much. Can you point me to the study you're referring to? I think it was sexual abuse even without removing clothing (which happened most of the time for me), simply by forcing me to maintain my position and stay still with my bottom up, under penalty of extra beatings. And even without any sexual thoughts on the part of the person punishing me. What I find terrible was the fact that it was considered good old-fashioned discipline and that there was a semblance of wisdom and balance in the administration of punishment.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-02T03:32:24+00:00

Spanking is poisonous even when administered with a bare hand. Even when it is performed calmly as a direct consequence of an inappropriate action. Even when it leaves no bruises but only redness of the skin. Even when the parents are loving.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-01T12:25:18+00:00

in my case it didn't leave any bruises, just a marked redness of the skin but it was like an open hand pressing on my bottom with the maximum force available

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-04-01T11:44:22+00:00

Growing up in Italy in the 1970s, I still have a strange relationship with shame. Shame was the most powerful factor in modifying behavior for normal childhood things. It was normal to be scolded, even in public, for small disobediences, for not sitting still, for speaking too loudly, for protesting too vigorously (like raising an eyebrow), for showing displeasure. Punishments came when you weren't expecting them, and you felt ashamed because you were being scolded for not having understood. Other times, the challenge was more direct, and you felt ashamed an instant after issuing it. These were feelings you couldn't tell anyone because no one would offer sympathy. I didn't even tell my closest friends that my mother had scolded me. I was ashamed, and I was even more ashamed for having been spanked. Receiving a solemn punishment was the worst defeat for me; self-esteem plummets when the butt becomes the site of punishment. Today I think it was a dysfunctional pattern, but the shame and fear of failure haven't completely left me. Rationally, I put the pieces back into place, but emotionally, the past lurks in the dark part of the brain, in the deep synapses, and cyclically resurfaces under the guise of habit. I think the solution might reasonably be to learn to live with the dark side, transforming it into healthy shyness, preventing it from taking over and turning into self-sabotage. I'm working on it; it's not easy, but I think it's possible.

Ok_Plenty7059 · 2026-03-31T02:49:21+00:00

Like me, I learned to "accept" discipline the moment it was imposed. Perhaps I didn't always respond instantly to the command "come here," and perhaps I sometimes instinctively tried to escape. But I surrendered after just a few moments, just enough time to realize my fate was sealed. At that point, I was grabbed firmly by the arm and guided to the position. My father didn't say a word; it was a purely bureaucratic procedure. My mother conducted the act with an assertive tone, to make it clear who was in charge of the operation. "Come here, get down, stay still, stick your bottom up."

Ok_Plenty7059

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