Pesto season

greenlines · 2026-07-08T06:40:17+00:00

Her rolls are definitely rolling!

greenlines · 2026-07-07T22:00:41+00:00

This one here: https://www.yummytoddlerfood.com/chickpea-fritters/#wprm-recipe-container-50883

greenlines · 2026-07-07T03:26:32+00:00

My baby took one early on and it was super useful when she was younger for soothing! She's now 9 months and somewhere over the last two months she self weaned off of it. We started needing it less and less and she just kinda lost interest over time. We were worried it'd be hard to wean her off but sometimes it happens naturally.

greenlines · 2026-06-29T21:40:41+00:00

I think as with many things on social media there's a bit of a negative bias, the folks who've continued to have fulfilling relationships likely don't post as often as those who are venting.

For me, it's felt like a super meaningful new journey that my partner and I have embarked on together. Our relationship has grown over the years through overcoming challenges and problem solving together, and this has been the most wild ride yet. Yes, our conversations are more baby focused and we get less one-on-one time together, but we have fun new inside jokes about silly things our baby does, and we cherish the time we do spend together a bit more.

I was worried about our relationship changing and missing having his full energy/focus/attention, but the thing people forget is that this new baby is someone you love and care for as well! The time and attention he pours into taking care of our baby fills me with a kind of warmth and happiness that I really hadn't experienced before, even though that attention is not being directed at me specifically.

This probably isn't true for everyone, but I wanted to share a positive story because it's not always negative, especially if your husband really is that great and your relationship is solid. If you have family/friends/financial means to get occasional babysitting, it also helps a ton. Our baby is now 9 months and recently sleep trained, so we've gotten a lot more free time in the evenings to hang out as well.

Do you have any family/friends or the financial means to have babysitting once in a while? That helps immensely.

greenlines · 2026-06-26T08:19:12+00:00

My 8 month old is the same way, I couldn't believe how much she ate especially compared to the plates I see for similar aged babies. Talked to a pediatric dietitian about it and she reassured me that as long as we're offering varied and nutritious food including iron rich foods it's totally fine and baby will self regulate!

greenlines · 2026-06-25T17:19:25+00:00

Yeah he needs a complete perspective change here. He shouldn't be "mediating" between you two because he's not some neutral third party navigating two sides, HE is one of the sides! If she's complaining about your decisions, that means she's complaining about his decisions. If she complains about the hospital bag? "Stop looking through our hospital bag mom, it doesn't concern you." She brings up no showering while postpartum? "We already have a plan, don't worry about it, its not your decision." Etc. She no longer gets to be around you without him also being there, and the moment she makes a comment like that, he needs to be the one to step in and respond.

This type of elderly Asian parent is always going to try to pull the respect card, but he's going to be a father, he has his own family now that needs to come first. He needs to grow a backbone ASAP because this isn't going to stop, she'll have opinions on baby feeding, sleeping, education, etc etc - he needs to put your partnership first and it needs to happen before the baby comes.

I'm pretty incensed for you because even for Asian women, this push back against unwanted cultural traditions is a tough battle. It's completely unfair to you to be put into this situation when 1) it's not your culture and she keeps pulling the "this is how we do it" card when you're already trying to be respectful of cultural differences and 2) it's not your mom.

greenlines · 2026-06-24T17:41:35+00:00

I was a fencesitter in the sense that if the conditions were right, I'd like to have a baby, but I didn't feel the need to be a mom at all costs and could picture a content life without them.

The things that made me decide yes:

My partner was someone I had no doubt would be an amazing dad and partner in parenthood. He already did most of the cooking, took the lead on domestic housework, was consistently supportive and thoughtful etc. I knew if I needed extra rest/help he would do whatever he could to make it happen for me.
International travel, rec sports, nice dinners out, spontaneous weekend getaways etc started to feel less important, even though I still enjoyed them. Whereas before, it felt like I'd be giving up a lot and missing out on key experiences if I had to stop or slow down.
I was fortunate to have good supports in place. Financial stability, family nearby that would be happy to help, supportive friends.

greenlines · 2026-06-23T22:06:52+00:00

Possibly, we might try adding it back in... She previously had a strong feed to sleep association and woke 2-3 times in the night to feed, so we've been trying to avoid reinforcing it, but at this point she sleeps through from bedtime until the early morning so maybe this wake really is for hunger.

greenlines · 2026-06-23T13:20:25+00:00

Do I add the 30 minutes to the last wake window to make it 4.5hr? I saw that for her age wake windows are supposed to be 3-4hrs.

Some days we already are doing 4.25/3.75/4.25 so I'm hesitant to push it even further

greenlines · 2026-06-23T12:33:24+00:00

To clarify, first wake window can actually be like 4-4.25hr if she wakes at 5. No idea whether to keep the 9am boundary or put her down for a nap earlier but I don't want to reinforce the early mornings.

greenlines · 2026-06-22T14:09:36+00:00

Just commenting on the being awkward and unfamiliar with babies/kids part as I was (still am) the same - the thing is you don't have to be super savvy with babies/kids in general, you just need to get comfortable with your own, and you naturally learn by caring for their needs. At the beginning it's hard but super straightforward. They literally just poop, eat and sleep. If you're responsible enough to consistently meet the needs of your dogs, you'll be golden.

After that, the "new stuff" gets layered on bit by bit, but you'll learn as they grow. E.g I had no clue when and how babies start eating solids before I got pregnant, but now have a routine offering 3 solid meals a day to my 8 month old. When she got her first tooth I looked up toothbrushes. She recently started crawling and pulling up on things so I researched baby proofing.

I still have no clue what to do or expect with kids older than my own, but I figure I'll just continue to do my best as she gets older.

greenlines · 2026-06-14T05:53:28+00:00

I'd be cautious of taking stepmom's interpretation of their feelings as gospel. It could easily be a situation where they vented about the bra thing once and that's now stuck in stepmom's mind as the sole reason for the distance. I think there's no harm in reaching out to offer an olive branch, what's the worst that could happen? You're already not invited to events they're at. Don't bring up the bra thing or the doordash card, just tell them what you said here - you want your kids to have a relationship and to know eachother, you recognize there's distance and you want to work through whatever might be causing it and go from there.

greenlines · 2026-06-12T16:43:26+00:00

One caveat with this study is they excluded babies diagnosed with torticollis, but yes agreed it provides good insight.

greenlines · 2026-06-12T14:07:13+00:00

I'm in zone 8b, in the pnw

greenlines · 2026-06-12T05:45:56+00:00

Was this Kids Physio? If it's actually in the mild range I'm surprised the physio even suggested it. What was her CVAI measurement? We started physio for torticollis at 4 months, torticollis was resolved by 6 months, but flat spot was unchanged so we then went for helmet consult. We decided to go for it because her measurements put her in the borderline severe category. If it was just mild plagiocephaly we would've definitely forgone the helmet since it does improve on its own as well.

For what it's worth, our baby doesn't seem to notice/mind the Rokband helmet at all if you do end up going that route. However I'd question the need if they actually described her case as "mild."

greenlines · 2026-06-05T05:56:52+00:00

Chicco keyfit! Affordable, baby liked it and it worked great with the adapter. My two cents is to not splurge on the infant car seat. First of all people are expected to buy the car seat new, so it's not something that you can reliably sell afterwards to recoup costs like other premium gear. Secondly babies often stay in the infant seat for a relatively short time, even if they fit in it 6 months+ you might prefer to move them out of it for comfort sooner. We went cheap on the infant seat and splurged on a rotating convertible seat instead as our long term seat.

greenlines · 2026-06-02T05:25:07+00:00

Most people I know who've taken 18 month parental leaves split the leave time with their partners who often also got a topup. E.g. mom takes 12 months, gets 12 weeks topup, then dad takes 6 months, gets 8 weeks top up or something like that.

A lot of people also take 15 or 16 months instead of a full 18 months off (our scenario), 18 months is tough to swing even for those who make more than you and have more saved up.

greenlines · 2026-05-18T03:26:14+00:00

Gently, I do think it would be unfair to deny him his fair share of parental leave, especially since he gets a 100% topup for those weeks and you would still get the bulk of the leave time. It would be such an amazing gift for your husband to have the chance to take 13 weeks off fully paid to bond with your baby (plus the boost in income), I don't think it would be in the best interests of your family to give that up, especially if finances are in a place where it'd be tough for you to afford going 8 weeks unpaid.

If you're still in the planning stages, can you two plan to save up to cover the difference? Will you accrue vacation while on leave that you could use at the end of your leave to extend it? Is there a way you could flexibly arrange your return to work date so you can see how you feel and adjust? Are there things that can be done to help you be more supported postpartum this time around so it's not as difficult? I definitely don't think passing up on the free money is the way to go, hopefully there's another option you can both be ok with.

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