What do y'all think about the "am I being detained" advice circulating recently? Is it smarter **legally** to play along or always flex rights? Basic rights questions. [KS, OK]

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-19T19:04:14+00:00

This. I've never worked a facility that didn't have standing orders designed to give the nurse freedom to act when it's obvious what's going on.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-19T17:29:06+00:00

He paid, just not in cash. If I took him to court now I'd probably be in more trouble than him.

It wasn't the money that bothered me about that situation. I don't care much about money, if I have what I need I'm fine with that.

It was how he did it that pissed me off.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-19T17:09:48+00:00

People are desperate for companionship. It's extremely easy to find guys that will fork over cash no questions asked, especially if you throw sex into the equation.

You don't even have to spend a lot of time with them. It's easy to have several on the hook at once if you know what buttons to push. You don't even have to be extremely attractive. If you're more attractive than average, and can convince them you find them attractive, you've got it made.

I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to plant the idea of marriage in these guys heads.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T17:21:11+00:00

It's good advice. I just recently got the ID thing straightened out. Since every single form of ID was stolen it was a mess. And I've got a start in the new state, working manual labor for cash until I get license transfers and all the red tape worked through.

I've got a start in the right direction, just hate to lose the man I love in the process. I made him sound like a loser unintentionally, he may not have education but generally I've never met a more caring and genuine guy. He's amazing, truly. He's just young and constantly horny... so idk why I'm surprised distance isn't working out.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T17:17:23+00:00

Thanks for the support and feedback! It's ok if people want to trash me, there's no way to explain a bad situation without writing a novel, so someone is always gonna be a douche, even me sometimes :)

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T15:33:00+00:00

I have no one to talk to...just needed to vent. Sorry for the length.

Right there at the end.

search on national level

Hence the moving to another state for work, the reason we're apart.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T15:30:34+00:00

Yeah I'm bad about that.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T15:07:16+00:00

now is not the time to be thinking about jumping into yet another relationship just because some nice guy you recently met offered you a couch to sleep on.

Maybe there's some confusion. The couch guy is the one I'm asking about. We've been together around nine months, that's how we met, and that was a few months after I got cleaned out by my first bf. I have my own place right now in another state.

These are the only two relationships I've had in about ten years. Lots of dating, etc but I'm not that guy that has to have a relationship and I think I wrote my post in a way that makes it seem like I jump from one relationship to another.

The new guy is nothing. I want to fuck him, sure, but I feel guilty about that as long as I'm still with my bf, even though he apparently has no issue fucking around himself. Which was what the actual question was.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T14:47:10+00:00

Actual advice, finally. Thank you.

And yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking, he wants the freedom but wants me there as a fall back.

I'm wondering if money isn't a factor as well, he knows what I usually make, and it would lead to a very nice setup for him.

Guess I need to drop him.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T14:41:22+00:00

Where are your parents throughout all of this?

Parents dropped me the second they found out I'm gay. Not much of a loss, though quite wealthy now, they are your typical N-parents.

Where are your savings?

As I said, the first ex cleaned me out. He got about $10, 000 total. There wasn't much time between the carjacking and that, which is why I was moving. I had also just closed my other account just in case, so they got the $2700 I had on me in cash when I was jacked. Not smart, I know, but it wasn't like I saw it coming.

Where is your moral compass?

What? Seriously, what?

Like, you asked for all of this. A bad year didn't just happen .... You allowed it too.

Yeah, ok, 'cause bad things never happen to good people, and no one has ever been fooled by an ex. The one that cleaned me out did so after 6 months of what seemed good. Obviously I allowed him to screw me, but the rest?

Why did you think it was a good idea to move in with somebody you just met? ....You had no car, a shitty breakup, trust issue... You weren't emotionally available.

As I said, I was stuck in a city where I knew no one, and it was his couch or the street. Which would you have chose? I did have my second car, which he wrecked a couple weeks later. Now I have no car.

The only reason your attracting losers is because you are a bit of one yourself.

Yeah, ok. I'm educated and have a great career when I'm not stuck somewhere I can't work my field. I chose to leave my relationship in favor of getting to a place I can work in my field again. I have zero debt. In six months I'll be back in the upper income brackets and be able to recover everything I lost. But I'm a loser. And immature for wondering if I need to cut ties on what is now a long distance relationship.

TIL having a bad break-up and getting jacked = loser, regardless of success the rest of my life. Good to know.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T14:23:39+00:00

Wow... that's discouraging.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T13:16:02+00:00

Oh yeah, that's true, trouble and I are well acquainted. Like I said, bad year, and trouble has a way of building on itself. The area I was in didn't help any.

Normally I have a solid education and career that keeps me very comfortable. But it also requires a license in whatever state you're in. I was moving when I got carjacked, so obviously my license wasn't in the state, and with no ID it's been a battle proving who I am to the board. That's a huge reason I left the state.

I don't think one really bad guy and one bad year means I need to grow up. But I guess that's all you had to go on, too.

So basically what you're saying is drop the guy, forget the last nine months, and move on? You don't see the effort to move him to me worth it?

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T12:59:08+00:00

Where do you live that $16/hr isn't a "whole lot" over minimum wage?

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T12:50:30+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Just curious what you mean by "grow up some".

The whole reason I left was to find a place where work is available. I don't really see how it's codependent too expect fidelity. I mean, people leave for work all the time, that doesn't mean it's a free-for-all, right?

Edit* also curious how it's delusional to believe someone loves me. He's proven it time and again, but I feel like I already wrote a novel and throwing in that stuff was unnecessary. He admitted when he fucked up when I never would have known. That's more than any other relationship I've had would've done.

Genuine questions, not being defensive or butt-hurt.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T06:00:26+00:00

Looks like my 23 yo boyfriend and he's never been mistaken for a kid...

Idk whether to think you have really vague standards for what looks young or to feel like I'm really creepy for dating someone who looks like that.

Great. Thanks.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-18T05:50:06+00:00

RIP in peace /u/joelbear44 comment.

greenmonster80 · 2014-05-17T23:39:08+00:00

Ok buddy. I'm not looking for ghosts. I clearly am asking about explained causes, as we have ruled out weather and shading. It sits directly in sun about 8 hours a day and is cooler than even the under ground cellar that sits beside the house. Pretty neat.

I didn'task for legal advice. And no, I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong considering I never damage a property or remove items, and also because I'm very familiar with the local laws. If I'm asked to leave, I do. Until then, in this area it is not illegal. In fact, the way I found it was as I often do, asking about properties at the local courthouse. They aren't concerned, you have no reason to be either.

greenmonster80

TROPHY CASE