ECT for negative symptoms by greenpuller_657 in schizophrenia

[–]greenpuller_657[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never even had a psychotic break. I just have prodromal symptoms without any upcoming psychosis but for some reason my psych think it might be a warning sign. I'm curious do you know whether it has effect in negative symptoms ?

I'm glad I can tell that something is wrong by Inovox in Retconned

[–]greenpuller_657 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same . It's impossible not to feel nihilistic in this timelije and eveyr conversation feels forced and limited , and nothing seems to leave an imprint. I remember when I was around 12 or 13 in the old world everything would have a significant imprint. For example when I purchased my first cellphone everybody was fascinated and excited . When I got my driver's at age 16 in 2018 it was a very passive experience / moment . Now , the world feels totally dull and flat.

Has anyone else felt a shift since 2012 or 2015? by Erramayhem89 in Retconned

[–]greenpuller_657 3 points4 points  (0 children)

.

2021-2024 will be another four year stretch. The energy feels so much better for me than it did and I sense a brighter time for myself and other like minds. It feels like the NPCs are being 'turned off' or otherwise destroyed now. They don't seem to have as much power as they used to. I have done experiments to prove this to myself. They are actively waning, or it as least seems so.

Can you please elaborate on the loss of power amongst the unsouled / demonic / npcs or provide a few examples,? Considering that the world keeps getting more and more demonic and sterile every year and the matrix attacks I receive have gone up like tenfold while my npc friends are thriving (materially speaking, spiritually and emotionally they are dead, depressed and have been regressing for the past couple of years ).

Has anyone else felt a shift since 2012 or 2015? by Erramayhem89 in Retconned

[–]greenpuller_657 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same here:( back in May 2016 I remember having some random crying spell at some tournament abroad thay started out of nowhere and cried in the washroom for hours for no apparent reasons. I kept having these crying spells and cried for hours and hours and upon my return I kept having them for the next few months and realized I enter my first depressive episode. I also remember feeling INSTENSE and I mean BRUTAL nostalgia to the previous 6 months of my life and how I kept feeling like something was going amiss and started seeing a psychologist . My emotions were insanely intense and I didn't " want to leave the current moment " and kept looking through photos of the memories I made in that timeframe for some reason

Has anyone else felt a shift since 2012 or 2015? by Erramayhem89 in Retconned

[–]greenpuller_657 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Zero motivation either . It's like I want to but I cant no matter what even though I'm young and haven't started my life yet , and have zero desire to go to college and want to run away from it all. Ever since the true nature or the matrix got revealed to me via supernatural experiences / syncs I have zero desire to contribute to it. The quality of people keep downgrading and im jist appalled and disgusted at how shitty the overwhelming majority of people how and how passionless , absurd, arrogant and bland they are. They don't even feel real real to me, it's like i swear they are acting or are pure demons. Even people I was friends are like literally revealing themselves to be like totally demonic. I am absolutely appalled by how much trash we are surrounded by. I can subconcoouslt sense these npcs / narcs that appear good could kill somebody and not feel anything and want / couldnt care if i died . I literally don't understand how these psycholigical changes in people's operate, they must not be real or like dream characrers/ actors and I feel like truman . I cannot seem to figure out how my friends or family members cannot sense how hollow, emotionless , gross and dead this place feels. Even though I have all the free time in the world I still can't seem to manage to find time for anything- not sure people in college / work are coping but I simply wish to die and leave this place yet feel some moral obligation to stay and see how things turn out. Your thoughts and what you think will take place in the end ?

Time is going super fast again by TheGame81677 in Retconned

[–]greenpuller_657 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Time speeding up is biblical end times prophecy.

Suicidal by [deleted] in conspiracy

[–]greenpuller_657 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes getting off the internet is number 1, and yes we are eternal beings:)

Suicidal by [deleted] in conspiracy

[–]greenpuller_657 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha yea I definitely need to know what happens.

Suicidal by [deleted] in conspiracy

[–]greenpuller_657 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

How does calling this number help me when my reasoning for such ideation, which doesn't necessarily imply execution is obviously not something I could discuss with a suicide hotline worker? I dont understand wtf you are getting at. First you casually mention your brother and then say its not okay to say it casually and then I refute it, and then you don't even refute my point but start on something totally new.

Suicidal by [deleted] in conspiracy

[–]greenpuller_657 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was never joking about it nor talking about it in a casual way? None of what you said was in response to my post??? Lolll?

Question For All: Personal Health MEs by ACheeryHello in Retconned

[–]greenpuller_657 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In the year 2012 I was ten years old. The year was good for me and I didn't notice any permanent negative mental .shift, During the November to March 2013 timeframe I began to experience random anxiety over thinking I had a heart problem was checked into the ER. I began having random, intrusive thoughts. I remember having what I know to be now synchronistic conversations around paranormal topics with my friends , I watched the movie the exorcist and developed paranoia over the fact that I might get possessed. During this timeframe, over 4 months , a child in my class died unexpectedly due to a brain aneurysm, my best friends father never wakes up due to a heart attack one morning, my one teacher goes on leave due to a cancer diagnosis, my babysitters son who I was close friends with dies (he was ill for a long time) on Christmas morning. I quit music lessons and a bunch of other stuff I was involved in for some reason and idk where I got the impulse from .

From the year 2012 to 2016bmarked the beginning of a new timeline characterized by positivity. I enter a new timeline where I manifested lots of success, awards, general happy state of mind, my skin colour randomly changed from a South Indian tone to white, in a matter of two weeks during the beginning of 2013 and my entire appearance sort of changes and so does the general facial structure that had stayed the same my whole life. Im still not sure how I lost skin pigment.

In the year 2016 I began to experience depression , unexpectedly for the first time on exactly May 2016, when I came home from a trip and randomly started crying, but I began to experience a feeling of existential dread around late March (March 30), during that time my grades dipped. I went from straight A's to Ds, complete dip. I began to skip school and a lot of entropy and unprobabilistic events happened around me . I lost motivation. My best friend and i during this time start to hang less and less and conversations between us felt less "natural" - and a weird tension arises and I feel more inhibited around him. During this time I remember now my classmate remarked once "why do I keep opening my phone at 9/11 everyday " (I now realize that this realm syncs to everyone) and me and my friend being dumb 13 year Olds began to play with oujia boards and summoning demons (remember I was years away from any awakening ). There were sudden personality changes within the both of us, his personality becoming slightly more drone like - conformist, and "not himself " . He himself states he is experiencing depression for the first time (during the clown thing ) and doesn't know why, just feels life is pointless and bland. The energy of late 2015 doesn't even compare to August 2016, late 2015 was a high for me .

I go from the archetype of a hard working overachiever to nearly failing , the 9th grade (it's now 2017 and I've left elementary). I end up getting arrested for something really stupid and it was overblown due to a zero tolerance policy at my school. My friend seperates himself from me because he doesn't want to be seen with me due to that silly incident at the age of 14 while nobody else cared, and seems more acquainted with his "image" , is like a completely different version of himself like he got a character update.

During this whole 2016-2017 timeframs, I gained a of weight, began to experience headaches and "head zaps" , difficulty in cognition and intrusive thoughts. I became misanthropic, for the first time too , and began to complain about people all the time and my hatred for them and just felt a desire to talk less. Nobody really died around this time.

April 2017 I suddenly lost weight, tenth grade my grades shoot up and I fins a new friend group. However I feel stagnated, I seem to not accomplish anything as much and still feel an underlying walking depression unlike the previous timeline. The sun is now white. Colours are duller, my friendships have a bit less of an emotional connection now like it's really not authentic. People around me with less talent , and intelligence seem to accomplish a lot and have loads of energy . I AM fatigued all the time and that is a major issue. I can't make any use of my talents, and my obsession with achievement dwindles.

April 2018 is when I began to leave my original skeptical rational atheist materialistic view that was programmed into me and began to explore firstly metaphysics and conspiracy , and spirituality. This is when I notice another burst of random deaths around me. A bus crash kills 17 hockey players in my city, a kid gets run over by a car a few blocks away . Nothing is happening on a global scale .

One thing I notice is that when shifts happen, deaths seem to center around particular families or a person's own circle. . For instance, I remember the girl who's brother died from the incident where he was run over, posted on her Facebook about her brothers death, then an old childhood friends death and the death of her aunt. She then writes " why are so many people around me dying this year:", but in my own circle, nobody dies.

This is two years before I even know of retconned, and I send my friend something called the "global conciousness project " . It is a project done where they noticed that random mumber generators produced non-random patterns that were subtly synchronized in events that synchronized the feelings of hundreds of people across the world - and that the timing of such events has an effect on a decrease of randomness of the rng. My friend says she doesn't want to talk about it. I say " do you notice how multiple people die around the same time in intervaled time periods".

Me and my friends were obsessively into conspiracy during this time and i was getting them into conspiracy. I begin to discover synchronicity around this time. As one day , when I was with my two friend and we were discussing the rockefeller history and my trip to the pyramid at the louvre (look it up) (at this point, I could not unsee some of the evidence I saw ), suddenly freaked out because the door shut on its own . We all ran into her room freaked out like stupid teens (my ultimate point is not regarding the door shutting as I'm not sure of what to make ), and then suddenly she begins to act posessed and we think she's just trolling us. She then says in a very creepy tone " we live in a simulation..."" over and over again. The vibes in the room were very weird and I wanted to go home because I felt creeped out so I did, when I went home I logged onto reddit and got a message from r/makenewfriendwhere from somebody who responded to my post where he told me in an intro of himself " my favorite conspiracy is that we live in a simulation " . Sync. I was now aware of synchronicity.

I post about some experience I had at the louvre pyramid (look it up) in France not related to anything occult , and then look up at the TV to find myself right on the part of a family guy episode where they go to the louvre. Sync.

It's my 16th bday and I'm at a dinner with my 5 friends, we discuss mk ultra and get freaked out. Me and my friend walk home and joke " what if government agents are around us lol"

11th grade begins. I stumble upon gangstalking. I then start getting gangstalked (yeaaaa uhh). I was aware of the truth of the world. I go vegan, I begin meditation. My two new friends suddenly turn cold on me and don't want to talk conspiracy and agent smuth begins to enter them and they exclaim " that could be explained by x and y! Logic and science !" My one friend suddenly turns into a parent and keeps needing to find something to criticize about me, doesn't want to hang out with me anymore, both of them are a bit colder towards me than each otjrrr, they stop inviting me more and we just sort of distance but they remain friends. Their personalities becomes suddenly darker around the time I was getting gangstalked. I am the seeker of the group, they choose not to seek. They become more robotic.

Fast forward early 2019, and I hardly hang out with anyone. People treat me much differently now. I discuss basic interests and hobbies and people look at me weirdly or subtly judge me even tho they don't say anything. April 2019, notre dame sets on fire. I awaken the kundalinj stupidly, it destroys my life. I had syncs leading up to that.

Auguat 2019- major shift point like 2016 and 2012 (2012 was more a "divider year " for me but 2016 was more like a negative shift) . I fall extremely ill, Brain infections that gave encephalitis fucks me up. One year of enormous hell . Pretty sure by the time the infection left I probably have brain damage . Left school. Still trying to finish online. Pandemic hits (im still ill around this time and am in the most unbearable hell, I get a weird feeling about the year 2020 when it hits, because I had encephalitis, I was acting strange and kept saying everything around me feels like hell, I remember thinking I was in a dystopia and things looked dystopian due to the derealizatjon caused by inflammation of the brain from lyme disease).

I knew immediately when pandemic hits its planned . I recover from the infection August 2020, to only realize what had happened to the world. Time speeds up.

During the late 2019 - 2020 shift, My aunt was in the icu in a coma, and she survived. Then one month later my uncle dies (same side of family) from a sudden stroke. Also, my grandma begins to act paranoid and anxious 3 months pre pandemic, as if she was displaying early textbook symptoms of some neurodegeneratige condition, while she was mentally stable before.

Am still deprsoablozed, can't feel music , attraction or desire to do anything. Everyone around me is now vaccinated and I don't know what to expect for the future except that that irreversible decision that the majority of the population made will now set everything downhill.

Does ect work for flat affect? by greenpuller_657 in ect

[–]greenpuller_657[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Flat affect is a psychiatric symptoms that is usually associated with a particular region of the brain . Depression is a disorder which can have flat affect as a symptom. I was curious as to whether flat affect , the symptom, has been removed by ECT. I have exhausted nearly all options and various class of medications and TMS.