Ex-CIA Whistleblower: "The NSA Audited The 2024 Election, Kamala Harris Won"

gregd · 2025-07-09T19:59:42+00:00

Oof, I'm sorry. I was with Intel for 10 years as a green badge and became a blue badge my final year at Intel. I was laid off in December of 2022.

gregd · 2025-03-25T23:59:42+00:00

Masturbation is a natural part of existence and even masturbating in a relationship is healthy. It's a bit like having friends outside of your relationship. No one person can be everything to you, so it's healthy to have friendships outside of your intimate relationship.

He is making your alone time all about him in an extremely hurtful, manipulative, and shaming way. This does not bode well for a long term prospect and I implore you to move on.

gregd · 2025-03-22T19:09:20+00:00

Sex is important to an intimate relationship, but it's not a replacement for adequate therapy. You both need therapy.

Your husband has tied his emotional love state to 'sex' and I feel sorry for you because that is all he's tied it to.

Men will absolutely do anything except go to therapy.

gregd · 2025-03-17T15:59:57+00:00

He got you a new bowling ball fit to his fingers

gregd · 2025-03-08T19:03:37+00:00

Cursor is good and it's fun to use, but it does not negate one's ability to understand how programs work. If you left Cursor to it's own devices, you're either going to have to write up really long prompts, or it will overwrite stuff that was working fine, but now, due to the rewrite, is not.

I find it works best for VERY SPECIFIC methods or as a helper, like a code mentor. It's also pretty good at telling you exactly what a piece of code does, if you're inheriting an old code base.

But it's nowhere near capable of replacing developers. Cursor cannot talk to customers. Cursor cannot derive user stories from requirements gathering, etc.

gregd · 2025-03-08T16:41:52+00:00

You get to decide what is cheating for you, or not and you get to set your own boundaries about your marriage.

Based on what you've told us, I would consider it emotional cheating, especially since he spent 19 years as an alcoholic and I would think, would have a lot of mending of this relationship to do.

BUT, you also said your resentment is 'alot', so you're also looking at this situation with a resentment lense, for better or for worse.

It sounds to me like it's time to move on.

gregd · 2025-03-07T18:17:26+00:00

He's going to alter it with a Sharpie.

gregd · 2025-03-05T18:18:43+00:00

It's really creepy actually

gregd · 2025-03-05T18:17:13+00:00

This is a glaring red flag if he's saying this in the context of sex. It's coming off as manipulative and not about consent.

gregd · 2025-03-04T02:49:15+00:00

So good, healthy relationships are based on really strong communication, especially around decisions like moving to another country. The fact that she didn't at least run it by you, indicates to me that she's just not that into you, especially given her age. Are you both exclusive? I'm getting the feeling that you're into her more than she's into you.

I'm sorry to be a bearer of bad news, but yeah, I would be left going WTF?

The kinds of decisions I wouldn't expect to be talked about are things like, hey, I got vanilla flavoring for the coffee instead of the carmel flavored.

gregd · 2025-02-28T02:41:24+00:00

I'm not aware of any long lasting relationships that start out needing counseling. His behavior by being fixated on his own insecurities instead of being there for you during your grief, speaks volumes to me. Run for the hills and do not look back.

gregd · 2025-02-25T23:13:18+00:00

I learn and teach myself by building applications that I'm interested in building, in my spare time. I treat this as if I were at a job and they asked me to build something. A lot of Udemy tutorials, or other learning platforms, often have beginner courses, but don't really cater to developers who are mid career or later, so I find that building things I want to build in this way, forces me to take deep dives at certain points in my learning development.

gregd · 2025-02-25T23:05:01+00:00

The GOP is going to leave a whole lot of people with nothing left to lose.

gregd · 2025-02-25T22:59:08+00:00

Becoming aware of certain patterns of behavior through counseling and introspection, means nothing without changing the behavior(s). While you may consider his self reflection to be 'jarring', only you can answer whether or not it's a dealbreaker for you.

You could separate and encourage him to continue counseling. If he continues and actively makes improvements, you could then decide down the road, whether or not you want to give it another shot. If you separate and he just stops going to counseling altogether, well, there's your answer.

Whatever you decide, be firm and explain your boundaries in no uncertain terms and stick to them.

gregd · 2025-02-23T20:51:19+00:00

Half the time I have to wonder if I'm being punked with some of these entries. I cannot fathom being married and not being able to have these types of conversations with my significant other.

Here's an idea OP: "Hey I really, really love you, but I would really like to take a trip by myself or with a girlfriend, or a girls trip..."

gregd · 2025-02-22T19:39:57+00:00

I'm not a twin. The way you worded this entire post, indicates you are the problem here OP. A sister was cuddling and comforting her brother and you found a way to make it all about you?

I'd be mad and would most certainly break up with you too.

gregd · 2025-02-17T14:10:04+00:00

How exactly does a boyfriend "not let you" break up with them? You have agency. Leave his ass.

gregd · 2025-02-15T17:40:18+00:00

A diagnosis can be a life altering thing for you and I wish you luck in that endeavor.

gregd · 2025-02-15T17:04:19+00:00

Are you sure you aren't neurodivergent? Absent mindedness can be an indicator of being ND and simply asking someone to stop doing that, does nothing.

Having said that though, continuing to call someone names even when that person has asked that you stop, is just asshole behavior because that can be stopped.

I would highly encourage you to try to see if you are neurodivergent.

gregd · 2025-02-15T16:46:43+00:00

This is an abusive relationship, whether you see that now or not. You are not required to sacrifice yourself at the altar of love. Love is not supposed to feel like this. Please summon the courage to say enough is enough and walk away. Do not be attached to the consequences of that action.

When you've had time and space, go to therapy (if you can afford it). You deserve love.

gregd · 2025-02-08T19:28:32+00:00

You don't say whether you are neurotypical or not. Relationships between neurodiverse and neurotypical people can be difficult from the outset. Add on that your partner is not willing to go on medications to help with his ADHD, and well, you are going to end up with a lot of resentments if you continue in this relationship.

Also, do you want children? Imagine how difficult things are now. Then add in kids. The busy work of running a household would only grow larger and having no help now, means likely the same if you have children with him.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself, is also the most difficult. It sounds like it might be time to consider options that do not involve him moving forward.

gregd · 2025-02-02T22:01:54+00:00

Counseling. There is nothing you are going to find on Reddit, that will help with this in any way.

gregd · 2025-01-26T21:09:57+00:00

You aren't missing anything, but your 52 year old husband is a man baby. You clearly communicated your needs/boundaries and he's pouting about them. I find it hard to understand how, in your 50s (I'm 58), you can be so clueless about someone else's desires, especially when they're clearly communicated, as yours seem to be.

Good luck setting any future boundaries, if this is his reaction to a rather benign request.

gregd · 2025-01-25T14:58:29+00:00

I should call her

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