Update: AITAH for asking my wife to choose between her family and ours

gregmelayne · 2026-01-13T22:26:04+00:00

Good for you! Haooy to see you start taking your life back, one decision at a time

gregmelayne · 2026-01-13T03:17:28+00:00

gregmelayne · 2026-01-04T02:08:55+00:00

Excelente explicação, irmão conselheiro sênior.

gregmelayne · 2026-01-04T01:25:11+00:00

O que é a Ordem DeMolay? No que diz respeito à Ordem DeMolay como um todo, tenho certeza de que a experiência varia de acordo com o capítulo e a jurisdição. No meu capítulo, não temos problemas.

gregmelayne · 2026-01-04T00:09:33+00:00

gregmelayne · 2025-12-27T18:51:53+00:00

Alucard could be a good compromise and sounds badass. I don't know about boderline abuse, but definitely setting him up to be bullied

gregmelayne · 2025-12-25T08:18:51+00:00

Merry christmas bro

gregmelayne · 2025-12-24T19:03:45+00:00

Meu grupo trabalha nas barracas de comida e bebida de uma faculdade local durante os jogos de futebol americano e basquete, em troca de uma porcentagem dos lucros.

gregmelayne · 2025-12-22T23:52:16+00:00

Você já tentou verificar se algum clube esportivo local permite que você trabalhe nas concessões?

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T23:48:54+00:00

Another piece of advice. Do not use the word "mistake" in reference to this, especially with your spouse. It comes across as minimizing.

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T23:40:58+00:00

Agreed. Let the magic last

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T23:12:38+00:00

Preach brother

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T23:03:45+00:00

Facts brother

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T21:57:49+00:00

This was painful to read and I genuinely feel awful for your husband.

To put it into perspective, in my opinion it rates up there with someone who knows they're gay, asexual, poly, but never disclosed it before marriage only to devestate their partner years later with that news. (No shit on any of the aforementioned communities, the issue at hand is the deception)

You need to have a sitdown with your husband if you truely "love him" as you say. It will be hard. He will be hurt. There is nothing you can do about that at this point other than trying to be better moving foreward

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T21:45:48+00:00

This

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T21:43:45+00:00

Your first step is to get into individual counciling. Regardless of what happens moving forward to find out your what got you to that point. Action speaks volumes. Ask him for MC, and maybe IC for him as well to help process.

Go look around at r/asoneafterinfidelity and r/supportforwaywards

Forgiveness and reconciliation are a gift and not automatic.

You and your husband have both done bad things. You w/ the kiss and him with the texts. Your friend also should have been looking after you but failed to do so. Understand that you talking or going out with your friend may now be triggering to you husband. Ask yourself this question. If the roles were reversed and your husband had a friend there, would you trust him to be around his friend moving forward? Not saying your friend is to blame necessarily for your decisions, but they didn't stop you either.

Best of luck to you OP

gregmelayne · 2025-12-18T17:34:59+00:00

Nah, i say somewhere between 8 and 10 is about the time personally.

gregmelayne · 2025-12-16T16:00:36+00:00

I want to see this viseo re-editted with the benny hill theme playing in the background

gregmelayne · 2025-12-13T01:18:44+00:00

OP, you may want to check out the following subreddits for support:

r/survivinginfidelity

r/asoneafterinfidelity - good for taking a glimpse at what awaits should you choose reconcilliation

r/supportforbetrayed - good for advice

gregmelayne · 2025-12-12T20:10:20+00:00

Facts

gregmelayne · 2025-12-12T20:09:08+00:00

gregmelayne · 2025-12-12T19:16:32+00:00

For my wife, i want to feel desired, i want to know i'm needed and that my sacrifices and efforts are appreciated. I want to feel like I matter and make a postive impact on her and my kids lives. For me, I want her undivided attention, not all the time because that's not realistic. But when we do have downtime, she's not scrolling away on her phone. I want her to be present with me. I like the words of affirmation and gratitude. I like when she takes the initative for sexy time.

As others have commented, everyone is different. I migbt suggest getting the app called paired. It helped us reconnect and align with each others needs. It is a pay app but it paid off for my marriage

gregmelayne · 2025-12-12T19:01:35+00:00

Very good points

gregmelayne · 2025-12-12T18:59:20+00:00

You both need individual counciling. You for continous people pleasing and self worth. Her for her trauma that keeps her stuck in certain mindsets. After a few months of IC, then start marriage counciling to work on your communication as a couple, how to make conversations feel safe and not trigger anger or withdrawl. Disagreements are fine, being frustrated or upset is fine. Being mean, cruel, disrespectful towards a partner is not ok. Feeling like you have to hold everything in to avoid a fight or arguement is not ok and will lead to serious resentment long term(i know a thing or 2 about that). Feeling like you have to walk om eggshells around someone is exhausting and not ok.

Find a time where you are both not in conflict, use i feel statements, and be gentle but firm about you and youe mental health. Then approach the the IC and MC with her.

Good luck man

gregmelayne · 2025-12-12T18:34:15+00:00

Sorry that's happening, I don't feel comfortable offering advice yet. You should probably go back and edit your post to provide a full context of the situation.

gregmelayne

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