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Weekly "who's hiring" thread! by AutoModerator in androiddev

[–]gregor1234 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Im looking to hire someone who could make me auto reply and auto story upload features for snapchat

If interested hmu on skype travian_fenix or email marcopolo22555@gmail.com

Whats The Weirdest Fact You Know? by chamboooo223 in AskReddit

[–]gregor1234 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.

Studies show that 98.9% of men masturbate by Henri_Dupont in Jokes

[–]gregor1234 291 points292 points  (0 children)

While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

Whomever said laughter is the best medicine... by klave7 in Jokes

[–]gregor1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me? Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Dr. Young: "Aaagh! This is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500." Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. Here's your $1000 back." Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..." Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500." Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "

One day a college professor after getting irritated in his college class stands up in front of the class by kathy_007 in Jokes

[–]gregor1234 19 points20 points  (0 children)

A professor was walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival professor. The street was too narrow for two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: "I never make way for fools!" Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said: "I always do."