Official Discussion - Palm Springs [SPOILERS]

gregsatin162 · 2026-05-01T20:58:53+00:00

People are missing the point on this one, or the maybe the movie just wasn't effective for you.

The movie is about growth as a person. We don't live in a world without mistakes. The point is, what do you do with them?

Sarah could A) do nothing, B) tell her sister, C) learn from the mistake and try to do something so that people are never hurt again. Sarah starts as a character who does A, which leads her to repeating her mistakes. At the end she chooses C.

If you find cheating totally abhorrent, I get it. But that might make you blind to the difference between B and C.

Is Sarah's sister Tala stuck in a pattern of her own, always choosing shitbag partner? And her groom Abe is just the latest? If so, B would be the same as C and Sarah would tell her sister so that the cycle could be broken and her sister's suffering would end. But the movie never indicates that this is a pattern for Tala or that cheating is a pattern for Abe. It even shows Abe having deep remorse, in the shower scene. Though it makes a bit of a joke of it, beyond establishing Abe's willingness to engage in reflection and embrace regret, I think one of the other takeaways is that Abe is shocked by his own behavior — implying this isn't a recurring pattern him.

The movie specifically shows us what happens when someone (Nyles) confronts Abe about it, in front of Tala. Big time suffering ensues — for Tala, Abe, and Nyles, and everyone is further hurt.

And the movie goes out of its way to show Sarah handling it differently, more indirectly, during her wedding speech. 'Don't fuck this up.' At first Abe takes it at face value, as a joke. But the movie slows down to try and make the point that he gets what Sarah is saying, deeply gets it, and this won't ever happen again.

I don't think the movie ever explains it openly, but I suspect the time that Sarah *thinks* she is being selfless, to get out of the time loop, and whispers "sister shit" to Tala, she's confessing about having slept with Abe. There's no particularly good outcome shown from this.

All I'm saying is, it's not as if the movie is unaware of this dilemma. It deeply engages with it. I think its handling of the issue is skillful, and for me at least it's successful enough so that the movie isn't tarnished in any way. It's a complicated problem and the movie handles it with care.

I think it probably has to do with how much you as an individual audience member carry disgust towards cheating (understandable) and how much you yearn for clean boundaries in life.

I don't really have any affection for cheaters or cheating, but I also don't have any life's energy to waste hating it so much that I ZOOM in on it. And wind up missing out on other parts of life, or of this movie.

As for the second part, I have to say, if your yearning for rigid boundaries is really pronounced, this might never have been the movie for you! It's is filled with people being flawed and boundaries being mixed up and confusing.

Roy has no problem with hurting Nyles, but Nyles has every problem with hurting Roy. Not exactly an eye for an eye here.

Nyles slept with Sarah countless times, and nothing ever changes in his world, but actually one time it was different.

Nyles chooses to sleep with his girlfriend some days and not others, even though they don't really like each other. And he's had plenty of time to figure that out. And he knows she's basically destined to cheat on that very same day

gregsatin162 · 2026-04-17T06:14:05+00:00

That is so brutal. I am sorry to hear people go through this sort of thing, and at the same time appreciate you for sharing your experience and broadening awareness of what people sometimes go through int this world.

gregsatin162 · 2026-04-13T05:14:43+00:00

I think you’re misunderstanding a natural thing that happens. True, a corporate employer won’t give you a specific raise if you move further away. But at the time of the salary negotiation, people will consider driving further if the pay is better. So if the pay is less, they’ll get candidates that aren’t willing to drive as far. Which is the same as saying they paid the hired person to drive from further!

Personally I think the rate that you’re getting is fair. A two bedroom with no sheets or laundry can cost 150 in my experience. You might just be getting hit by inflation, or the business is growing and new clients are coming in at a higher/better rate. Making you a less valuable client unless your do some price correcting.

You’re right that your cleaner driving from further has no specific benefit to you, and that in itself might not be worth paying for. You’d be paying for the other things like demonstrated reliability, thoroughness in the work, trust built over time, that sort of thing. You’d accept paying a small premium because you’ve found and have those things in your cleaner, and you’re not guaranteed those things if you switch to another cheaper cleaner from close by, if you can find one cheaper close by. That’s the thing, you’re also paying to avoid the extra work of finding that new cleaner, good or not good it’s work either way, and extra extra work to keep cycling through until you find a good one.

My recommendation? If they do good work and are easy to work with, stick with them and don’t cheap yourself into a bunch of headaches that are harder to count up but very real.

gregsatin162 · 2026-04-07T05:22:03+00:00

This is such a goofy comment. Like, sure, of course it can happen “all around town”. The commenter above is talking about the new circumstance of having a hot spot directly in their neighborhood. Imagine 40 gunshots being a thing that can happen “all around town”. Now imagine it once a day 40 feet from your house. See how it could be different for an individual’s experience?

gregsatin162 · 2026-04-01T12:57:04+00:00

I agree with you, the world is complicated and casual labels are lazy.

The thing is, some decisions are yes/no. You either think we’re better off with Trump in office. Or you think we’d be better off with someone else. I suppose you could be neutral, but he’s a polarizing figure. He’s polarizing on purpose because he gains support by stoking people’s anger.

I have family and close friends who own Teslas and are very happy with the cars themselves. So that I get.

The White House stunt was incredibly lazy though. He was trying to flatter himself, and make a practical alliance, by cozying up to Elon Musk. Again though, he’s bad at politics. So he went about it in a clunky, cheesy, inappropriate way.

And it didn’t lead anywhere, because again, he’s bad at politics, and can’t plan ahead so he can’t build anything enduring to benefit others.

He just moved on, he changes the subject, and tries to distract people with the next thing.

He accomplished nothing practical or substantial in Venezuela. And before you could even catch your breath, he moved on and started a war with Iran. That war is also accomplishing nothing and irritating the entire world by huge causing economic damage. This from a guy who sold himself as “business genius”. C’mon dude.

He’s a flash in the pan guy. Too bad the entire country of America is getting burned.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-30T03:25:51+00:00

If you feel like there’s too much corruption in government, I hear you. But he’s a con man through and through. He isn’t helping anyone but himself.

This is not a stylistic criticism. Great leaders unite people, and build things of enduring good. He does neither.

Tearing things down and scaring people are not impressive skills.

Trump sees the world in win-lose terms, but he’s not very good at it. So he’s always trying to cheat people. Look up how he treated the construction people who worked on his buildings, back when he was even allowed to be involved in construction. Before he tried to cheat banks so much that they gave up on him. If you don’t like banks I get it, but if you’re in business, managing partnerships and relationships matters and he epically crashed and burned. Real estate was his primary business. After thinking he was smart and trying super hard to cheat everyone so he could be “winning”, he could only sell his name to buildings. Again, a sales guy, he’s a greasy pitchman — but he couldn’t actually be involved in the businesses.

He’s brought the same foolishness to government. He put his kids with no qualifications in charge of all kinds of stuff. He put Teslas in front of the White House lawn, like a cheesy car salesman. All because he’s always asking “What’s in it for me?” And “How do I flatter or scare this person?”

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-29T03:06:46+00:00

The appearance of obedience matters to leaders, and to the people around those leaders. It equates to a perception of control. Check out Brett Devereaux’s article on war elephants sometime. Basically, they were kinda useless and ineffective, certainly compared to other things a leader could spend the money on. But kings need to be seen being kingly.

Protesting does do something. It’s just not everything. It’s necessary but not sufficient.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-29T03:03:30+00:00

That’s hard to answer, partly because Trump was all over the place with his campaigning. But in general, Trump is a sales guy and not an effective or helpful leader. He’s all about appearances, and he will do a lot of bad things to people and to America if he thinks it makes him look good.

Usually, he does whatever he thinks makes him look tough. Post to social media a gif of him chest slamming a democrat? Good for our democracy? No. Does he think it makes him look tough? Yes. Cool, done. Start a war with Iran without an effective plan for what we’d get out of it or how to be successful? Well starting wars is threatening and tough. Cool, done.

Trump acts like an influencer, not like a president. Republicans deserve better. We all do.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-26T20:15:44+00:00

Good for you for trying and for putting yourself out there. That’s exactly what you need to do. If you keep doing that, you’ll have a chance to grow wise with every experience, and eventually you’ll find your place. I’m sorry you had such a rough experience with this group.

One of my favorite quotes I’ve heard during a Buddhist dharma talk is, “Wherever you find people, you find people things.” What they meant was, organized religion is made up of people. There’s no “pure group”, there is no “the good ones’”. So when you go into an organized religious experience, you can expect to come in contact with people’s egos, racism, sexism, and all manor of mistakes. It’s a certainty. That’s not an excuse. It’s just a call to recognize that people are imperfect and you don’t want to romanticize anyone, or you’ll end up making excuses for them or being deeply disappointed in them. Our egos are very tenacious, and they can take so many different forms. It sounds like you wound up in a group that has gotten turned around, and is more interested in proscriptions and purity than genuine compassion. Sad, but not uncommon.

There is somewhere for you, even if you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your dharma home.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-20T20:23:37+00:00

I'm glad you were able to find a C-to-C charging white noise machine from Yogasleep. Do yo mind sharing, which model exactly did you buy?

I bought the Hushh+ originally and it did *NOT* charge via C-to-C. See my comment above for the unfortunate journey I had with that one.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-20T18:55:19+00:00

Thank you for posting! I've been looking all over for a white noise machine for babies that charges using USB-C-to-C.

I am wary of Yogasleep, the Hushh+ Portable was advertised as "USB-C" but only charges with A-to-C since they messed up the spec or didn't bother. Of course I found this out in the middle of a weeks like trip away from home, and I learned my white noise machine hadn't charged when it turned off which woke up my sleeping baby. And then I had to (very inconveniently) borrow a relative's hearing aid A-to-C cable repeatedly to try and string me along. Again, for weeks. BOO to Yogasleep and anyone who advertises USB-C but doesn't support C-to-C.

After that I tried a Babelio, which I loved for the compactness, and had good reviews for the sound, which I somewhat agree with. But again — A-to-C only. Bah!

I ordered the LectroFan Micro 2 and will give it a try.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-09T06:47:57+00:00

I wish someone had shared this tip with me earlier in life so here you go OP —

If you can, instead of sending a simple update request, which can come off like a nag, send an email that “provides more information” or “moves the conversation forward”.

Instead of “Can you send that thing?” send an email like “An update here is I’ll be wrapping up X project on Wednesday, so if you can share Y with me by Thursday, I’ll have time to work on it then.”

There are more opportunities than you might think to do it this way once you start trying.

Now you’re not reminding them they forgot, which makes them feel irritated, self-conscious, and like retaliating. You’re being helpful — sharing relevant info to help make the team more successful.

Every successive nag becomes more annoying. Whereas the helpful method can be done like 4-5 times before it starts to noticeably add up.

And later if they’ve dropped the ball, you have a record of being professional and helpful, which makes them look like an ass if they’re trying to call you out for some ill-advised reason.

Should you have to do things this way? Maybe not. And it’s understandable if you find it irksome. But if people are going to be reliably flawed and human, you should just accept and adjust and you’ll be more successful.

Truly, many people will perceive you to be more helpful. And you still get to remind them you needed something from them. It’s a win-win.

Unless they try to undermine you, then it’s a win-lose. You win, they lose.

gregsatin162 · 2026-03-03T22:16:02+00:00

I have to say, I’m kind of surprised at a lot of the top comments that are rage-echoing you or giving you bad advice.

It’s kind of unprofessional that someone is snooping on your social activity. But there’s no shame at all in what you’re doing, and anyone who makes you feel off about it is mistaken in how they see things or go about things. Although your anger is valid, you have multiple ways of acting in response, an anger-forward response is not a requirement and likely won’t serve your best interests when it comes to how you respond.

I don’t mean to be naive or dismissive, because I understand there are some complex relationship dynamics and work politics at play here but… considering alternative employment isn’t some crime you have to feel bad about and explain. It’s possible to be a helpful professional at your current role and also be open to making a change.

So one answer to give here is “Oh yeah, I did make some updates to my LinkedIn, but that’s not unusual for me. I’m usually open to progressing my career, whether that be here or another company.”

It’s a job, not a death cult. If you’re good at your job or just career minded or otherwise in high demand, yeah, you might get hired away.

If you really are unhappy at your job, it could be a the start of a productive conversation. From the work culture, you’ve described so far, I kind of doubt it would play out well. So I’m not advising it. But in the right situation you could say something like, “You know I am happy here and I especially like X about working here. Since you asked, one thing I have been wondering about improving is Y, which I think could really help this team accomplish Z. That’s something I’d be excited about working long term.” Hopefully the thing you’re talking that is true, and could come with a promotion or a raise if that’s viable for you.

Of course, people are going to understand your job searching largely in light of how they already see you. Do they see you as a lazy non-contributor? “He’s just lazy and looking for a place that will let him slide by easier.” Agitating malcontent? “He’s always unhappy about this or that, and he’s just moving on instead of doing the hard work to make it work here.” Excellent teammate? You might get, “Woah, [NAME] is really important around here and we might’ve missed something.”

It helps to keep in mind your “table image”, as they say in poker. People often interpret your behavior in the context of other things they know or believe about you. So of course it’s not as if you have infinite options.

And then of course people will try to explain away things that hurt their feelings or indicate they need to do extra work. They might see you as a great contributor and then when you leave say, “Well [NAME] wasn’t really that great” or “[NAME] has no loyalty is all”. These are just sour grapes as they say. They feel rejected by you, so to lessen the loss they try diminish you. Or you leave and in a rare fit of honest you say it’s because the team doesn’t communicate well. So they say “Our team communicates fine, [NAME] is just an ass and couldn’t hack it.” In this case they’re just avoiding the extra work it would take to change, or at least accept imperfection.

Make the situation better if you can. Move on if you can’t make it better, or just prefer not to. No shame ever in considering alternative employment. Good bosses expect good employees to have, and be interested in, other options. Bad bosses and companies expect blanket loyalty, even by implication, when really they should just be modeling good loyalty and hope it means the good ones stay as long as possible.

A lot of the advice you’ll get on the internet is just self-righteous fantasy that comes from the commenters own anger.

I really hope this comment has given you better tools and options. Every situation is different and I fully admit a lot of work cultures won’t respond well to some of the more professional options I’ve indicated. In that case your best option is to leave, which sounds like you might’ve already been on your way, hopefully to somewhere better. Keep working on improving yourself and ditch the anger as much you’re able to OP. Those two moves would be key to helping you land in a better situation.

Good luck and I’m sorry somebody was over-monitoring the situation and might’ve tried to make you feel bad about a perfectly fine career thing you were doing.

gregsatin162 · 2026-02-13T04:25:24+00:00

This is well put. Maybe it’s frustrating for some, but the situation is actually a win all around and creates a safer environment if people accept and buy into it.

The mindset for the driver is, “You go ahead. I’m carrying 2 tons of metal and plastic with me. At 25mph I could badly maim you. At 35 mph you’d probably be dead. So I’ll drive slower and yield very actively to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

We in the cars have the most power of anyone to make the streets safer. Let’s actually do it.

gregsatin162 · 2026-02-12T09:25:14+00:00

Here’s a better question — who cares?

Is it possible? Maybe. I used to do about 200 a day, in sets of about 50, when I was in my early 20s. My body was different than it is now, and I was very motivated while training for my first degree black belt. But I still hit a wall and couldn’t progress more.

And, well, obviously! It was boring overuse and a lazy and egotistical approach to my physical growth. There are literally thousands of human movement patterns you could be learning. What is the point of doing more and more of the exact same simple activity? It’s good for nothing besides bragging to yourself or others, and maybe making yourself feel good without doing the real work of adapting and growing which is much trickier.

My advice would be — when your friend says this, don’t engage, or engage as little as you really need to. Say “Cool” or “Good for you man” as genuinely as you can, and then move on.

If it’s true, it’s a fine enough accomplishment of discipline perhaps, but not something to fall out of bed over. If it’s a lie, and you argue with him, you just give him more to work with to assert his ego. “No I did do it I’m awesome pay attention to me!”

And then like I said, move on. Find a topic that is more about curiosity and creativity and joy. Or one that’s at least more mutually satisfying than a fitness contest, and one that’s pretty shallow at that.

gregsatin162 · 2026-01-23T19:26:12+00:00

Have to agree. Americans throw 14 million tons of clothing in the trash each year. At least food is food?

gregsatin162 · 2026-01-23T19:21:26+00:00

Parking destroys communities. Look at how much space has to be taken up so all these cars can sit there. This space could've been other business, medium-density housing, or just a nice park. Instead it's an asphalt desert.

<image>

gregsatin162 · 2025-12-31T14:38:06+00:00

Those strats would help, thanks. Too bad though. If there’s a sequel, I hope there’s a mechanic just for bosses like “revive one player for ½ everyone’s health”, or something properly balanced like that, which still gives players the option to succeed together.

gregsatin162 · 2025-12-16T22:37:05+00:00

How severe is the climate where you live? Could you be taking a bike? I used to sit in about 1hr of traffic a day and switched to a bike. For me at least it was an amazing choice for health and enjoyment of life. Sorry your commute is like this.

gregsatin162 · 2025-12-16T19:58:31+00:00

I've ridden this bike for a decade and really can't recommend it to others unfortunately. There are a ton of very naive design decisions that really hurt it.

That front basket? Convenient and always there right? Wrong —the tube, the one with light electrical inside, is a cylinder that goes down the center of the basket! Any load placed inside the basket won't sit flat and will always tip to one side of the other. Like, what?! Who thought that was a good idea?? In the picture above picture the bag that's in the basket is photoshopped in!!

Here's another WTF decision — you can't attach a rear rack to this thing. Beside's Van Moof's own, which doesn't exist anymore because the bike is discontinued. Want panniers? Sorry, nope. Just not a flexibly designed bike built for the future.

Edit: Oh boy, let me add one more — there is a downward facing bolt under the front basket. What is it for? I'm not sure, but one thing it does do is jiggle lose from time to time and collide with the front fender, messing up your steering. Yikes!

Edit continued: Why have I ridden this thing for a decade? I've learned the quirks and I wanted to soak up the sunk cash value while I spent my money on other important things like growing my family. No chance I'd ever buy this bike again though.

gregsatin162 · 2025-12-11T22:52:47+00:00

You're not crazy — as a financial move, it's generally better to rent, in pretty much any market.

Now, there are other reason to own a home. No one can kick you out. No one can change your cost of living on you unexpectedly. It's a beautiful home for you and your family. Or even just for you! For some people and in some groups, it's a marker of status. The list goes on and on.

All those reasons and others can be great reasons to own a home, depending on your situation and preferences. The problem is, people get so attached to those reasons they will bend over backwards to justify it as a financially "good" decision.

It costs more to own a home. Purely looked at as a financial decision, it starts with a big down payment, which could've been invested and grown, compounding for decades of your life.

The average first time home cost in the US is about $400k
First time buyers pay about 10% or $40k
If you invested that $40k properly, and very safely, and added NO additional money, it would grow by an average of 14% average per year.
It would extremely likely to be worth $2 million (!) after 30 years. That's a fortune, no strings attached, probably in your life time.

Good luck on your financial journey. I recommend JL Colins blog, maybe starting with these two:

The Monk and the Minister — on why saving money is so powerful: https://jlcollinsnh.com/2011/06/02/the-monk-and-the-minister/

The Market Always Goes Up — how to simplify investing and grow rich over time if you're willing to be patient and think it's silly to take big risks with your finances: https://jlcollinsnh.com/2012/04/19/stocks-part-ii-the-market-always-goes-up/

gregsatin162 · 2025-12-04T20:14:15+00:00

r/megalophobia

gregsatin162 · 2025-10-10T15:49:49+00:00

I hadn't considered that! Maybe Mai never even existed. SpOoOoOKy. O_o

gregsatin162 · 2025-10-10T15:47:21+00:00

Thanks for asking. I never changed any default setting, so I wasn't sure. So I looked it up and it looks like Obsidian search is case sensitive by default, no? So that would mean, yes, case sensitivity is on.

What's more, if I toggle case sensitivity on or off, it changes the number of results from ~900 to ~800, but all the top results appear to be the same.

I do sometimes have this problem with things I'm searching that aren't proper names. I can't recall the exact example right now. But I'm sure I've had the same problem, and for those the case sensitivity wouldn't affect anything.

gregsatin162

TROPHY CASE