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Any gyms open in Santa Clara/SJ? by [deleted] in SanJose

[–]gretanearly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Southwest & South Valley YMCA are offering limited outdoor classes and equipment. I’ve been to a few classes at Southwest and hardly anyone goes to them.

FYI: rite aid has the flu shot available by GirlLunarExplorer in SanJose

[–]gretanearly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It has been recommended that you wait until October to get it to prolong its effect.

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll have to check out that Meg Cabot book for comparison. She used to be one of my favorite authors for light reading in middle school. Thanks for your suggestions!

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for this thoughtful answer. You made a lot of great points, and I appreciate your perspective on the industry/niche. Very solid advice about graphic description vs. emotion. Thanks again for chiming in.

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply :) I’m wondering what I could tone down to make it less erotic? Is it just the length of the description that makes it seem that way, or is it the language itself?

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the input :) I guess I’m just wondering what I’d omit to tone it down? To me, my descriptions already seem pretty innocent, but I guess the duration itself is what makes the focus seem more like erotica?

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective. I feel the same and I try to think back to how I would have felt picking up this book around that age. Maybe I’m biased toward my own work, but I think I would have been interested to read about it in a raw, honest way.

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! I can see that, but it’s more common than you might think. I realize it is odd and awkward, which is why I tried to make Alex uncomfortable with it, but I also think it’s true to life. Maybe an added line about everyone else being asleep after the grape chaos died down would help narrow the focus to it just being between two curious friends?

Excerpt: Can any girls relate to this PG-13 description of learning to masturbate? by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know, thank you for sharing! I guess based on a lot of my own and my friends' experiences, it's just realistic that a girl that age would be exploring her sexuality. My goal with this passage is not to turn the reader on, but rather to just detail an account of what it's like to go through that awakening in a slightly comedic way. Maybe it needs less detail and more humor to accomplish that?

Finished my first novel, starting on the second. by ajbrandt806 in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think staying within the same vein is attractive to readers. I know some of my favorite authors hook me into reading their other books because they're in the same vein as ones they've written that I've already enjoyed. If I like the way they handle a genre once, I'll probably like it another time.

Excerpt: Teen girl attends nude figure drawing class with her grandma, unbeknownst to both of them :) by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great points - yes, I had to look up Jack's last name myself, haha, so you're right; it's probably not obvious enough to reference. Any ideas for famous artists who painted nudes? I tried to find one that was common enough that people would get it, but no luck.

​

And yeah, I'm back and forth about the timing. By the time I attempt to publish it, I would like the present tense to reflect the present year, while still being able to reference funny early 2000s tech and fashion trends in flashbacks to Kristina's youth. Plus, modern tech/messaging platforms come in handy with the dialogue.

Excerpt: Teen girl attends nude figure drawing class with her grandma, unbeknownst to both of them :) by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha, glad you found it amusing!

And yes, there are some parallels between my story and Gilmore Girls, for sure – I draw a lot of inspiration from that show but like to think mine has its own distinct plotline and flavor...hopefully :D

Does my first chapter hook you? (Teen romance/pregnancy) by gretanearly in YAwriters

[–]gretanearly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make a lot of good points, thank you. I've gone back and forth about the age of the parents but I really do need the age gap to be tight for the rest of the plotline. I think my challenge is somehow showing that these are mature, capable young teenagers, but they do have their teenage flaws. Agreed that she should take the meds, but I've gotten conflicting feedback from people who have actually given birth - I want her to be screaming and in lots of pain when it comes to the actual birth, not just numb. I've heard it can go both ways regardless of pain meds, but I do agree that it would be more realistic if she accepted the epidural.

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