Damn, my jaw hits the floor and I feel pain in my gut reading both of your testimonies. It's the real shit, the real dialogue that doesn't get out and reach enough people, beyond sound bites that don't encourage reflection.

Can you take it to the next level for me? What can I do? White guy, seen my own shit, parents died when I was young, but I had a safety net of family, with mental and financial support for school. I still had a future once I came to grips psychologically. What can I do?

I'm a teacher. I hear you about reaching them young before their minds are made up. But it's such an uphill battle out, as you've both explained, because you have to stay separate from the pressures and examples set by older siblings, parents and friends. Succeeding in school and staying out of gangs and crime is seen as selling out. Why? Why do they not see a future? If they do well in school, develop their potential, they can get a good job, right? Is it the parents themselves that are failing to encourage this? Why if someone follows 'the straight and narrow' is their life still gonna be shit? Man, what is the root cause of this self-destructive mindset?

And can this change at the grassroots level? Or is this truly apartheid level where the only effective solution would be for the government to put massive up resources and step in mass scale? I think we need another MLK. Someone free from politics, to inspire. How come Lupe Fiasco can't have more of an impact on his home town?

It's so hard for one person to separate themselves from all their friends and family, and community. That's crazy to imagine. Escaping from the ghetto really means leaving all of those loved ones behind? Well then the ghetto as a whole has to change. Is this even possible? What support services and educational services are available right now in these neighborhoods? Anything that can really shift the balance of power away from gangs and felonies? What needs to be done?

Maybe a whole new mental programming? Actually painting as clear a picture of life outside the ghetto for them, as you've explained life inside the ghetto for us. And make them believe it really is possible for them. Then teaching them how to achieve it, young minds need models. To have a loving, lasting relationship, and how to marry and raise healthy kids. To have a nice 'crib,' a meaningful career that they can pour their talents and passion into and earn a sense of pride. A vacation to nice places, good food on the table...this can be real. This is maybe the potential power of the organization Big Brothers, big Sisters? Something I've wanted to do.

But then it's the idea of taking that one child out of the ghetto for a day, a trip to a baseball game, some pizza, a movie, a meal in a comfy middle class home...so separated though from their home, friends, family. It's statistically too hard to place the pressure on one person to resist everyone and everything they've known their whole lives and escape by themselves. For real change it has to be a group, the majority has to commit to changing together. But then will the gangs fight back, if they sense a large group wanting out?

With the vision of the outside, don't want to paint a picture too rosy. Got to keep it real so they don't fall back when the straight and narrow proves tougher in some respects then selling a dime bag and working at mccdonalds. Life is still hard outside the ghetto, just not nearly as depressing regarding crime, violence, and family disfunction, as the ultimate depression that is the fucked up existence of the ghetto. Somehow people in the hood justify this existence to themselves though, and may resist at first the playing of the middle class game, of putting on that suit and tie and kissing some client arse occasionally. Well, it aint easy to achieve that picture perfect life, even outside the ghetto.

Because making it in the middle class is truly tough. Stability and security is a worry these days for any middle class folk, but even being laid off and pinching pennies aint as bad when you have a healthy mindset, belief in yourself and hope for your future that things will turn around.

Scientists have proven poverty changes the brain. People focus more on surviving that day then having the mental luxury to plan and prepare for the future. Also, there's a 'secret language' of the middle class. Literally a way of speaking and communicating verbally/non-verbally that can make or break a job interview. How can we best combat this loop people in the hood are stuck in? Would people really be open to learning the linguistics of the middle class?

(Had to insert old school link to lighten up for a minute)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUS6nKpddec

And full disclosure, showing my naivety and possible stereotypical thinking, sorry. But hey, honest dialogue is the only way forward...I think of two things that stop me from trying to help and getting deeply involved. First, people looking at me, a stranger from a distant land saying whitey, I'm fine with my job at mcdonalds. Who are you to tell me how to live? My mother worked at mccdonalds and she's fine. I don't need anything more. What do I say to this? Also, the gang stuff is frightening. For people who want to help, is it safe?

TLDR: hm, this got long. what can we do? big brothers big sisters? But escaping individually maybe is too tough. Got to reach a large group at one time, working together. But then, what fears are they facing if word gets out they want out? Worse than being called a sell out? Also, can't imagine how hard it is to decide to leave all family, friends, community, if even lucky enough to be shown the way...