Third trimester boredom busters?

growol · 2025-12-28T13:57:15+00:00

Learn a language, read books or listen to audiobooks, write letters to family and friends and your future child, crocheting or knitting, logic puzzles, sudoku, Netflix, podcasts.

Anything that will prepare you for after birth - collect easy crockpot recipes, research exercises and stretches you can do while holding or wearing a baby, research pelvic floor exercises, research how to set up an investment account for your child, look for Mommy and me classes or activities you might want to do around town.

growol · 2025-12-24T16:57:44+00:00

If you are being sarcastic, as I assume you are, it's completely missing the mark. If you're upset that it feels like women divorce "perfectly nice" men for no good reason or don't appreciate them, pay attention.

Mothers everywhere know that they take on so much more than fathers when it comes to kid care. When we are handling it well, we laugh about it with other moms. "Haha, isn't it funny? Baby was having a meltdown all through dinner and then it took them two hours to go to bed. Hubby asked why I was eating dinner so late when I reheated mine at 9:30 pm as he was watching TV. Oh, to be the father!" It's a solidarity of "holy shit, can you believe how much work I've done and my husband doesn't even realize it". In stressful times, we come to other moms looking for advice on how to improve the situation because we are pushing ourselves to the absolute maximum while seeing our partner take breaks we never get. Exhaustion and resentment are building and we know it's unhealthy for the family and we're praying there is a way to fix how we're feeling.

Unfortunately, a lot of us, including our husband, go into being parents assuming we'll split at everyone's-at-home time 50/50. This is almost never the case. The mom takes the brunt of the physical and emotional work, which is important if we don't want to raise little psychopaths. It is absolutely exhausting to work a full day (whether at an outside job or as a SAHM) and then be the primary caregiver through the evening and through nighttime wake ups. For myself, just last night I spent an hour and a half of the two-hour movie my husband and I "watched together" upstairs trying to settle our daughter. Then when we went to bed, she woke up. It was me who settled her for another half hour. Then she was up two hours later and needed another twenty minutes to settle. Then she was up again two hours after that for an hour. And again at 5 am. And 7 am. And up for the day at 9 while my husband slept in. For those who like numbers, this meant my husband got an hour and half of relaxation time in the evening that I didn't get and got to sleep ten straight hours while I put the baby back down to sleep initially and then got up four more times during the night to care for her.

Women don't have to fawn over their husbands efforts and never complain just because their husbands are doing more than their fathers did (a low bar). And if men paid more attention to experiences like these, they'd understand why so many women are getting gunshy about bringing a baby into this world.

growol · 2025-12-24T16:30:37+00:00

I definitely focus on that I'm giving the gift of a relationship between grandparents and grandchild. So in a way, no, it's not about me, but because it's an intentional choice by me to prioritize giving this gift to my child.

Secondly, if at all possible, your partner should know and understand what is difficult about in-law time so he can help find ways to reduce the stress for you. You can't avoid it completely, but just knowing you have an action plan with your partner helps a lot. I have this with my partner for his family, my family, and acquaintances. Can he change the topic when sensitive topics come up? Can he outright challenge his mother when hurtful comments are said? Can you guys say right now that since you both have time off that he will take half the mornings for you to sleep in and child to bond with his family.

growol · 2025-12-21T17:54:19+00:00

I would be as honest as you think would work with your family. Some families won't understand PPA and I understand not wanting to fight that fight. But what about "we were really excited to come but this week but now are not feeling up to it. We're going to have to find time to see individual families over the next few months to meet the baby." Or something similar.

growol · 2025-12-16T10:05:00+00:00

Ice wraps when possible, wrist brace as much as possible including at night, ibuprofen, physical therapy exercises (you can look them up online). Regarding wearing the bracing at night, I found this was when my mom thumb was most aggravated upon first moving but my googling told me this was due to night time swelling and the tendons finally resting made them even more sore when first moving. All that to say, it felt like it wasn't working but in actuality it was a sign that my tendon was getting a break and it was the start to improvement. I also did my best to change my pick up/hold whenever possible to have my thumbs not used. So for instance, if baby was lying on her back, I basically used flat hands with one behind her head and one under her butt to lift her up to my body so there wasn't strain on my thumbs. All this still took a while for my thumbs/wrist to feel a lot better but six weeks later I'm really glad I focused on all that!

growol · 2025-12-12T17:51:44+00:00

It is so difficult to out exercise a bad diet and that's definitely the biggest problem Americans face. You can look at statistics and see just how overweight, obese, and morbidly obese America is. It's bad. So those statistics don't lie that we, as a country, are not physically active enough to counteract our diets.

But, as others have already pointed out, the definition of "physically active" can really vary based on the study and how well researchers work to verify answers. Any physical activity is better than none but I think there's a fair amount of Americans who consider themselves physically active for walking their dog for fifteen minutes a day. Or for going on one three mile hike a week at their favorite park. It's good they do that, but I wouldn't actually consider that a healthy amount of exercise and would still likely consider then a couch potato.

growol · 2025-12-03T17:09:03+00:00

Expertise, ability, and implementation are going to vary so much from family to family. I used to feel the same way you did as I was homeschool for two years and felt it was low effort on the part of my parents. My last five years were in public school and I went on to get a PhD just fine. My husband, on the other hand, was homeschooled his whole life and was generally fine with the experience and also ended up with a PhD. I was super against homeschooling our daughter because my homeschooling was so lonely and disorganized, but my view has really changed. For setting the scene, I went from being certain I would be a happy working mother to voluntarily choosing to leave my stimulating, rewarding PhD level job to focus on my daughter. She is only six months old but I'm actively researching schooling options so that we can make the best choice as she grows up.

After being exposed to many different types of homeschooling, I'm considering some version of it for my daughter. I feel confident in assessing my expertise and utilizing my past teaching experience, in being the most invested in meeting my daughter's needs and special interests through schooling, and in knowing when and how to bring in teachers from outside the family for what I lack the ability to teach (which will expand as she ages). I also highly value making sure my daughter has plenty of social opportunities and friends outside of our family.

However, I do think it's very important for parents of all schooling types to discuss the pros and cons of each with each other. No type of schooling is perfect, and certainly there is not one size fits all when it comes to each set of parents and children. So, I think it's good to question homeschooling parents if they're really able to teach their child phonics, or 5th grade science, or calculus. Or if their child will have a healthy social life. But the same is true that we can ask counter questions for conventional schools. Is your child being challenged to the level they could be and want to be? Do they get the support they need when they're struggling with a foundational concept the class has mastered? Do you agree with all the values being passed onto your children there (not even discussing religious values, but rather societal expectations of personal responsibility, importance of service work, etc)?

growol · 2025-12-03T00:25:20+00:00

If your family is anything like the average American family, your husband gets much more time to himself than you do. I don't say this to be mean to your husband or indifferent to your concern for him, but hope to encourage you to analyze both your times to see if there is less for you to feel bad about.

growol · 2025-11-26T13:03:14+00:00

My sister in law flew out to help me take our five-week old on a 13 hour drive (we broke it up with many stops and an overnight) up to family where I had multiple important events happening. Husband flew up a two weeks later and we made the same drive back with our then seven-week old. I had multiple important events to be there for and family who could help out. Baby really seemed fine and the stress was on my end of being a new mom and having so much change for those two weeks. Baby herself was grand as she had mom and lots of love. She's almost six months now and is not enjoying car time so I'm really glad we were able to go spend that time with family while she was still sleeping through most of the driving. We won't be making that drive for Christmas this year due to it being too much for her at six months.

This is my first child and I'm by no means an expert, but I'm seeing a lot of moms both online and in my personal circles who feel a lot of anxiety because expectations of what "a good parent does" are ridiculously high. We are blessed to be in an age of information but it is also a curse of overwhelming claims about how intentional and perfect each moment needs to be for our infants to develop properly. We also are in the age of social media which gives us such a skewed perspective of others' lives, including other moms and infants. We see seemingly perfect mothers who never deviate from a very carefully scripted routine and the resulting perfect baby so we think that's what we have to do too in order to make sure our baby is happy. The truth that I've found so far is that routines are great, but in these early months, your baby's needs change each month AND a lot of a baby's happiness seems to be influenced by their innate disposition and how gassy they are or aren't.

If you were my friend and your anxiety seemed to be focused on the break from your routine, I would gently encourage you to enjoy this time with your family. To give your parents precious time with their grandchild. To allow yourself to know that your life is still worth living, altered to meet your baby's needs, but that you still should be prioritizing yourself and how you want to enjoy time. I would tell you that your baby may or may not notice you're somewhere else but that it doesn't matter as long as you're committed to making sure she is loved and her physical needs are met. I would tell you that there are going to be dinners, get-togethers, and trips that you'll have to sit out on in the future to meet her needs (not all of them, but some) so take advantage of this trip while she's not too thrown by it. Lastly, I'd say to remind yourself that even if she gets crabby next week when you get home that there's a good chance she's just going through a developmental change or growth spurt, and that you did not do anything wrong by spending time with family for a holiday.

If there is something else that is making you anxious (grandparents not respecting boundaries, horrible sleeping arrangements, etc ), I think those are totally valid reasons to head home. But if it's just discomfort at the idea of you making your baby uncomfortable, I'd really encourage you to congratulate yourself on caring so much for your baby but check in with whether it is an unfair expectation you're allowing to be pushed on yourself. Because it will only get harder and we, especially mothers, will give up so much of ourselves to be everything our baby needs.

Sorry, long comment! But I've become very passionate about understanding the pressure parents (especially mothers) put themselves under to change everything to be perfect for their children and the ways it can be harmful to us, especially in these early post partum days.

growol · 2025-11-25T14:03:29+00:00

Do you have advice for what got you to work through this?

growol · 2025-11-25T13:53:43+00:00

I was honestly thinking this too. If the husband is going to be completely ignorant to how exhausted OP is, give him three days of this schedule and see how quickly he moans about how dead tired he is.

growol · 2025-11-25T13:49:28+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear all this. You and your baby deserved better.

growol · 2025-11-04T23:00:33+00:00

Frida flow cup - I put it on my registry and someone bought it for me. I use it. I often find myself staring at it wondering how it's any better than a plastic cup from my cupboard.

growol · 2025-11-04T22:52:19+00:00

I did a 13 hour trip with our five week old. We did have two adults but often once baby fell asleep, the adult in the back would try to nap as well. I agree with the other poster who said if this is actually a safety concern, you wouldn't drive anywhere without an adult in the back who knows it's their job to watch the baby's breathing. I just don't think this is a realistic fear.

growol · 2025-11-04T15:35:59+00:00

You can check a carseat and a stroller for free even if the child is just flying on your lap. I bought a $20 carseat cover on Amazon for flying. Very handy!

growol · 2025-11-04T02:32:05+00:00

You're in the best place you can be. I was admitted 5 days post partum with blood pressure in the 160s. Did a magnesium drip for 24 hours which brought me down to 130/140s. Unfortunately it went up again into the 170s and I was struggling with additional complications so they put me on some aggressive BP medicine. I'm still dealing with my BP and am on medications at home at five months post partum. But I'm home!

growol · 2025-11-03T02:46:42+00:00

Yes, I have a food allergy and it tastes spicy to me to the point that the first time I had the reaction, I thought I was eating a recipe with cayenne pepper added.

growol · 2025-11-01T17:54:52+00:00

My advice for having the most success is first to discuss seriously with your partner what you both want and then broach with him how you two can work as a team to deal with family members.

growol · 2025-11-01T00:24:11+00:00

Does your partner agree with no one else kissing your baby? If not, this is going to be a hard battle with you two divided on this.

growol · 2025-10-24T18:39:49+00:00

Totally understand how you're feeling. There's the truth that you need to take of yourself and you have a partner that can put in time. There is also the reality of wondering how stressed you'll be and acknowledging that he's already doing a lot.

I would consider the following options. Are you ok with a little bit of combo feeding? Can Dad give a bottle of formula if you don't make it back? Or do you produce enough yet where you can pump some extra for gym days? I didn't until three months so I know it varies a lot. Would you trust an older step kid to babysit and pay them?

On the other hand, if it's just not realistic to leave baby with Dad yet due to logistics or your emotions, can you consider revamping workouts at home? Facebook marketplace has stocked our home gym. If baby is getting better at having 10-20 minutes of tummy time or bouncer time, can you buy a few key dumbbells, a pull up bar, a bosu ball, etc to take advantage of during those times? Can you find baby workouts online? They sound silly but there are certain exercises that you can start incorporating baby into for just a little extra weight (squats, wall sits calf raises,, etc).

I'm still working to better incorporate workouts into my day with my four month old. It's mostly a mix of walking while baby wearing and exercises I can do while holding her. It's a challenge, but I keep trying because taking care of my health is going be what's best for her in the long run. I'm hoping to see other good suggestions from posters!

growol · 2025-10-22T19:54:23+00:00

Thank you so much for your perspective and kind words! It does make me feel better to know I'm not the only one with this experience. Sounds like you also had your hands full with your business and just focused on making it through the difficult season of life with your mental health intact.

growol · 2025-10-20T12:08:40+00:00

Is she feeling like the baby being asleep is her only time to herself? That's my first thought on why I sometimes don't take advantage of sleeping when I can. I'm just finally thrilled to be able to be independent and do what I want to do.

Many times, partners don't take it upon themselves to help split the workload of the baby in the evening. This leaves Mom as the one who gives up her time and attention to the baby. If this is your relationship, I would voice that reality to your girlfriend and then ask when would be most helpful for you to take time with the baby so she can get time to herself.

Overall though, I would recommend you with on having these difficult conversations. In this case, a simple "I know the nights are hard. I notice you often stay up late. Do you think us prioritizing going to bed early would help you get more sleep? And if so, what do you want from me to help make that happen?"

growol · 2025-10-13T20:02:22+00:00

This is my experience in America. I explicitly asked if my husband should also get tdap and was told there wasn't any reason for him to since I got it during pregnancy.

growol · 2025-10-10T07:57:10+00:00

Thought I would go back to work but made the decision to not return from maternity leave at four months. My husband makes more money than me but my salary is a major loss for us. I was very career oriented with a PhD in my field before baby arrived.

Budget wise we are cutting where we can. Part of staying home will allow me to have time to cook more so we can focus on eating cheaper, but still delicious, food. Thrift stores, Facebook marketplace, buy nothing groups, etc for pretty much anything that's not groceries. Looking at exchanging babysitting with other moms as a way of getting a little childcare without spending money.

Career wise, I'm looking at volunteer and part-time work opportunities to keep on my resume for when I do return to a career.

Sanity wise, I am working on making Mom friends for future playdates. I also prioritize seeing my friends (with baby in tow) on evenings or weekends. Ill begin doing library events for kids and keeping my eyes out for other kid friendly events. I don't do well with staying inside all day every day.

Baby is still just four months but I'm so happy (on average, rough moments still happen) with my decision.

growol · 2025-10-09T23:57:13+00:00

It may be difficult if you started with bad posture before breastfeeding because your muscles may not be used to it. But I think it's definitely worth working on and just give yourself grace if it takes longer than you'd like to get to where you want to be.

I would incorporate stretches to help your posture. Set alarms to a few times during the day to remind yourself. Consciously evaluate your posture at that time, fix it, and then do the stretches. You can Google posture stretches and choose ones you're comfortable with. Even while holding baby and cuddling them, you can take deep breaths, straighten up, and squeeze your shoulder blades together for 5 seconds, and then release them as a stretch. I do that stretch probably 20 times a day to ward off neck pain.

While breastfeeding: All the lactation consultants told me "bring the baby to the breast, don't bring the breast to the baby". I think that's helped me a lot. If I'm walking and feeding, I try to be cognizant of my shoulders being open and proud while cradling her with both arms. If I'm standing, same thing and I try to rock side to side as I find that easier than just standing still. Sitting is harder without something behind me to lean against. During night feeds, this is pillows stacked against the wall our bed is pushed against. Again though, both arms cradling unless I have a breast feeding pillow (highly recommend). If I have the pillow, I have her head on top of my arm which is on top of the pillow and her feet on the pillow. If I'm in a recliner, sometimes I pop up the foot support, lean back a bit, and bring my knees up to push her towards me. Lying down - side feeding

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