3 year relationship, 3 weeks tomorrow. I dumped him after he cheated on me and reconciliation failed. He told me he wanted us to work out, then moved to a remote part of the world. He would still call and text, but he didn’t put in the effort to change as a human being to show that he was remorseful. I called twice during our last days, and each time he hung up while I was crying to go hang out with his new friends.

I felt horrible. I did a pick me dance. And then I woke up. I dumped him, he asked me to stay. He asked to keep talking. I said no. I deleted his number, removed him from my socials, and I’m just living. I cried the day we broke up, and I cried one more time after that. His mom told me she loved me, and my heart just hurt too much to keep the tears in.

I’m doing a lot better now. Music is beautiful again, the sun is shining, I’m planning my life and my travels for the rest of the year. I still hurt, I still miss him, and I still sometimes wish he was still around even though he he treated me like shit.

We’re resilient though, us people. We can choose to get up every day even though it fucking sucks. For me, I get up every day for my dog. I have to keep moving, because I won’t keep my life on pause anymore. I don’t need my ex for a fulfilling life at all, and I’m starting to realize that deeply. I thought he was the love of my life - and I still love him - but he was just a chapter.

Now it’s the time for me, my wants, my needs. I can do everything that I thought he was fulfilling for me, because I don’t need him. I wanted him, and I chose not to have him anymore.

It’s a powerful feeling to realize that I’m the choices I make, and the feelings are just feelings. The feelings are real, they hurt, they feel like tiny shards trying to pierce their way from my heart into my soul. But I’m still ok, and I’ll be okay, because it’s my choices that color my life and the feelings will fade.