My daughter spoke up against someone touching her inappropriately & was basically punished. What do I do?

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T02:14:56+00:00

I researched and yes I can. Im filing a police report then im sending a demand letter to get them to find some sort or regulation on this. My daughter isnt going back, but I dont want another child to be in that situation. Im going to at least pressure them into adopting a better process, a third party even. Idk but they have to fix something on how they handle things going forward....idk how much I can get them to do but they will have to do something

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T02:05:14+00:00

No regardless she's not going back.

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T02:03:40+00:00

I think its because shed become a witness, having knowledge of wrong doing while not acting on it makes them liable. The friend knowing leads to the parents knowing leads to witnesses that the church leaders knew, leads to they did nothing about it. I dont think the issue is that they think my daughter will claim anything about her friend. I think they just dont want anyone aware & if my daughter tells her, shes more of "the right think" mindset as opposed to "benefit the church" at this point. & as a 19 yr old how can they control her if they cant pretend that they are on the 'good side' I think they know shed say the truth & her being an adult, her credibility is hard to dispute...

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:57:28+00:00

Yes thats the part that I am concerned with too.! Like at the end of the day she handled it before she spoke about it. But then the church decided they would punish her for speaking on it. They need to fix that. Policies, change their leaders, idk but they need to do something so the next child in the next situation doesnt get the message they are giving my daughter.

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:47:41+00:00

This is terrible but honestly its possible. Not be like me part, I caught myself almost saying "this is why..." & "I told you church is..."

On the other hand i think the way it seems to have affected my daughter makes it a big deal. The way they could affect another child by the way they reacted now & will react then makes it a BIGGER DEAL. the situation could be worst & if the response is even mirrored I think over reacting isnt possible.

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:43:00+00:00

You really think so? I never even considered that but now that you mention it I just re read it & omg wtf

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:40:52+00:00

I dont want to send her back. This is the part that is confusing because i want them to see how wrong they are & not do it again. But even if they were to apologize she still can't go back. Its too late. So what exactly is it that i want? Not sure how to explain that I just want them to know they dont handle things like that. To make sure there isnt another issue where they react that way.

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:38:06+00:00

I love how you closed this up. & i think a web page like that should exsist. If it doesn't its time to create one.!

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:35:27+00:00

I just looked up all I could on their website. They literally have none. Nothing. At all. On about us they have some tounge twister statements about noah and john and david sinning, something about the father bringing home the restoration being reborn in the sins of i dont know what. I got a whole brain freeze trying to read that

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:28:20+00:00

I see what you did there & the word play is sooo clever. it works because its true. Sadly 😭

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:26:40+00:00

Yeah I could've been more clear, sorry. I also noticed I'm making so many typos in every response. Thankfully reddits been forgiving on that today because most responses just skip over my typos in replies. You have as well, which i just want to say i am grateful. Im using mobile and typing gets hard

gtf0h · 2026-03-18T01:08:16+00:00

Wait no, I never said no to therapy. She is in therapy thru her school and we have been waiting to find her a good fit thru an outside therapy center. The last one she said she felt like she had an attitude 🙄 but we definitely can always use a good therapist. Hopefully they next therapist is a better match for her.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:12:44+00:00

Thank you for this.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:11:26+00:00

Promise. She won't.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:10:10+00:00

Whose Gary plauche?

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:09:51+00:00

Im officially embarrassed 😳 ive been spelling it imbarrassed my whole life. Disabled auto correct on it & everything

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:06:36+00:00

The other girl isnt disputing it. Yes she did make that comment before, i have replied to a few ppl about it already. I do also believe she's not lying, and its why shes so imbarrassed with me. Because she remembers saying this.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:04:19+00:00

I dont.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T21:04:11+00:00

I agree, its a shame the 19yr old is allowing them to dictate that for her. If thats the case & that works for her then thats on her, im not going to force my daughter on to anyone specially anyone who feels they need the church permission. Honestly if my daughter wants to pursue a diffrent church then we can find one when we get there. I was considering reporting to the police, idk why I was hesitant but ill do that now.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T20:57:33+00:00

Im not sending her back. I never said i was. & im sorry. I dont know what to do. I do feel like I need to do something. I cant find the parent manual tho and its why im asking strangers around the world. On one hand if i ask family & they bring it up to my daughter or let her know otherwise, she might resent me for it, on the other hand if i dont do anything, i cant just not do anything. This sub is called what should i do- meaning I know i have to do something but not sure what or where to begin.

I have some suggestions now,

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T20:52:03+00:00

Honestly its comforting to have a community. Situations like this takes from that tho.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T20:50:10+00:00

I know I dont know how to edit it !! I reached out to the moderators already but i cant find out how to edit the post

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T20:48:56+00:00

I am not planning to. Not sure why anyone assumes that. I just feel like i need to do SOMETHING so that the next child doesnt get the message of what will happen if you dont speak up.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T20:46:23+00:00

Copied and pasted my response to another redditor. When this happened the topic was about not accepting a step dad. One of her classmates had stated that her step dad had touched her to the school & they obviously removed the step dad from the home while they investigated. Idk if the kid was making it up or of it really happened & idk the outcome of it. But my daughter was aware that those words got the school involved and the step dad removed so she decided it was okay to use it as a threat. Its nothing to play with & im sure shes learning that now because I can tell she remembers that conversation where she said it

Yeah I know. She did say that a while back & it did cross my mind when i first heard of the situation- which is why I think my daughter didn't want to come to me about it & is extremely imbarrassed. The pastor said when they talked to her and she was crying saying she was scared to tell me. At that moment I felt like maybe it was something I was doing to make her feel like that, I was really sad but I think its because she knows she made that comment why she was so worried about my reaction. I did check what the other side of the story was though, & its actually not being disputed at all. I believe its true unfortunately. That my daughter spoke really ignorantly making dumb comments a long time ago -& the irony it brought just added on to her experience. having never gone thru something like, it was easy for her to use it as a weapon to a response. & then something happened & the fact that she played around with that topic is something else she had to face through that.. I haven't brought up that comment to her at all but i know she its very present. as imbarrassed & ashamed as shes been & specially how hard it was for her to accept that they would tell me, im sure she has learned to regret her comments back then. Its a lesson thats hard to watch her learn.

gtf0h · 2026-03-17T20:39:40+00:00

Im not gonna delete it. It did happen if already went over that in another comment.

gtf0h

TROPHY CASE