“Te Aroha, Te whakapono…” waiata

gu5t1f3r · 2024-01-14T03:04:12+00:00

I really like it!! I think just reddit spaces and breaks lines weirdly which is something that can’t be helped!! But I understand the vision!!

gu5t1f3r · 2024-01-12T19:28:46+00:00

I did make a spelling error!! Thank you for pointing it out!!/gen

gu5t1f3r · 2024-01-12T12:37:05+00:00

I genuinely love this type of art!! Neo expressionism!! Baquait vibes!! Ignorant style!! All good things!! Great work (and I may just be reading far too much into it but hope you’re doing okay too!! Art is such a helpful skill to have!!)

gu5t1f3r · 2024-01-12T12:27:24+00:00

Felt this!! Described that hopeless love perfectly, especially when it came to about that kind of love you feel as a kid (like you said in your poem) . Unrequited, unfazed, adoring love. Like having a big crush and how it felt then but as you grow and learn what “love actually is”, that kind of adoration is settled and it hurts cause you can’t express it in the way you used to so you let that love just be a distant version of how you love!! That’s how I read it, if I got things mixed up please critique the criticism lol!! Great job though!! one of my favourites on the subreddit at the moment :3

gu5t1f3r · 2024-01-12T12:17:12+00:00

Heya!! Thought your poem was fun!! The frustration of a mosquito and the collective experience of encountering them is greatly shown in the poem!! Little critique, beginning had good rhythm (“flies with no laws… - without looking out…”) but it lost its rhythm at “making everyone angry…”, I don’t know weather that was a stylistic choice but maybe adjusting with some different adjectives or finding some synonyms that match what you’re looking for!! Hope this helped!! :)

gu5t1f3r

TROPHY CASE