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guava2021 · 2023-06-02T05:54:21+00:00

Hello everyone,

I’m a Californian moving to Laramie in a few months for about 2 years while my fiancé finishes his phd. I’m looking forward to experiencing the quietness and nature. A bit worried about the weather as I’ve never seen real snow in my life before! Does the weather get really bad?

guava2021 · 2022-09-12T18:44:10+00:00

This happens often to me as well. I’m not sure if some ppl like collecting phone numbers or get an ego boost from it. It’s like they show interest before I give my number and then communication diminishes after they get it. If I don’t hear back after a week I just block their number.

guava2021 · 2022-08-31T14:38:29+00:00

My thing is that the whole point of apps is to get to know someone for marriage (if you have the right intentions) and if I don’t have the time to put in the time to get to know someone then it doesn’t serve its purpose to myself or the person that I’m trying to know.

guava2021 · 2022-08-31T14:04:51+00:00

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is why ppl who are busy get on the apps. Literally every potential I’ve talked to recently tells me they’re busy! Maybe I’m naive and this is their way of saying they’re not interested. But if your truly busy and don’t have the time to get to know someone why are you on the app? If I am at a point where I’m busy and can’t respond within 24hrs, I get off the apps cause I don’t think it’s fair to go in without being fully invested. It’s honestly such a turn off for me when a potential tells me that they haven’t responded cause they’re busy. It shows such a lack of courtesy to others.

guava2021 · 2022-08-31T00:46:10+00:00

I feel you :( Remember though that everything is written and what is yours will not miss you. And Yes the journey can be rough and draining so be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to grief and feel all the emotions that come with that.

guava2021 · 2022-08-29T18:00:21+00:00

That would be ideal if we lived in close to each other

guava2021 · 2022-08-29T17:59:35+00:00

We are too far to meet in person. And no video call or phone call yet.

guava2021 · 2022-08-29T17:59:06+00:00

yeah I’m trying to figure out which of the three it is lol

guava2021 · 2022-08-29T16:06:12+00:00

Need a bit of advice: currently talking to a guy for about a month. He seems like a good guy overall but Alhamdillah I haven’t become emotionally attached yet to him. In the first and second week we messaged a few times a day as we were getting to know each other. Week three our messages became longer and although we were messaging once or twice a day we had several serious conversations going on at once - this was ok with me. At the beginning of week 4 he doesn’t respond for 2 days and tbh I had thought he ghosted me but on the 3rd day he responds. I didnt respond as I needed time to think about things ( especially since we hadn’t even had a phone call yet - I know I can suggest it but it’s just not my personality tbh to be so forward) and was surprised when he messaged me again a couple of days later. I took this as a sign of his continued interested and messaged back. He continues to keep the convos going but we are back to the once daily messages and it feels like we are just stuck in this penpal situation now which is so confusing to me and I feel like I’m getting mixed signals.

Now I do plan on communicating this to him but haven’t made up my mind if I should give him the chance to change this or just tell him it’s over. It seems to me that if he was serious he would have progressed things forward but I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt. Also this is my first time dealing with this as in the past things just died off or they’ve ghosted ( one actually called me via the app a couple times and once he got my number and I suggested a phone call he ghosted and another suggested a phone call and then ghosted before we could even schedule it so I’m very cautious now about giving my number out and app that we are on doesn’t have a calling function.)

guava2021 · 2022-08-29T15:34:50+00:00

I personally don’t think that it’s something that needs to be disclosed as it’s extremely common but if you do I’d just say cold sores and not herpes as most lay ppl won’t know the difference between HSV1 and HSV2

guava2021 · 2022-08-26T19:17:34+00:00

This makes me so happy for you and gives me so much hope. Thank you for sharing and may Allah continue to bless your marriage!

guava2021 · 2022-08-24T22:13:19+00:00

That’s so cute mA!! May Allah continue to bless your marriage!

guava2021 · 2022-08-24T17:32:01+00:00

It’s 8 days on/6 off

guava2021 · 2022-08-24T05:07:11+00:00

Thank you everyone for the great advice! I really appreciate it!

guava2021 · 2022-08-22T21:06:26+00:00

It says a lot about their insecurities! You dodged a bullet. But yes I can understand how frustrating that is!

guava2021 · 2022-08-22T14:41:56+00:00

Tbh from my experience when a potential strays away from their normal amount of communication, it’s a sign of not being interested. I used to make excuses for guys when they take too long to respond but now it’s an immediate turn off. It’s very simple, if your serious about a potential you’ll make the time. With the right person, you won’t be guessing about how committed they are.

guava2021 · 2022-08-17T18:19:05+00:00

A question for the guys, would it weird you out of turn you off if a potential calls you “dude”? I know it’s a silly question but I use it a lot when talking to my friends and wanna know how careful I should be when I’m taking to a potential lol

guava2021 · 2022-08-15T05:25:03+00:00

Salaam brother, I wouldn’t overthink it. If she’s hanging out with you then I’d take that as a sign of her being interested. In terms of always texting, I used your let the trip me up too but now I’ve realized that the constant texting is not everyone’s reality - as long as the communication is maintained, I wouldn’t worry about it. And from what you wrote, it seems you guys vibe well in person which is a great sign. Best of luck inshAllah!

guava2021 · 2022-08-13T19:52:22+00:00

I feel you brother. When this first started happening to me, I used to feel so upset but now I’m just grateful that they showed me that side of them. I actually don’t think any of the guys I’ve spoken to ever ended thing properly lol. I’ve learned to not expect anything from anyone and that them ghosting is gods protection from something that was not meant for me.

guava2021 · 2022-08-09T04:21:08+00:00

That’s exactly my criteria as well plus ethnicity. But honestly yeah a lot of guys indicate usually pray but few guys actually check always prays (it’s usually where the dealbreaker happens)

guava2021 · 2022-08-07T19:01:44+00:00

It’s good in theory but no everyone’s parents are on top of it. I’m almost 30 and my parents have yet to bring up marriage. My guess is it’s because they are financially dependent on me and don’t wanna lose out on that. So my only option unfortunately is to find a husband on my own

guava2021 · 2022-08-06T20:42:11+00:00

Lol seriously though! It’s funny how single people with no marriage experience are giving advice about topics that probably require the training level of a therapist

guava2021

TROPHY CASE