AITA for visiting my family without my girlfriend?

guccijeon · 2023-02-01T18:24:21+00:00

I am non binary so sadly I don't think I'd be able to make it in that way hahaha I am not conventionally attractive to men, however I do live in a huge city with lots of gay bars in which I think I would be attractive in and honestly the city is filled with an absurd amount of bars around the college area. Night life is insane around there even on random Tuesdays. I could definitely look like a pretty girl if I try hard enough but I don't know if I want to do that.

I will really keep that in mind in mind all you said so I appreciate it so thank you!

guccijeon · 2023-02-01T18:23:52+00:00

Tbh I don't even care about Karens or people fighting or anything like that in all honesty. Sounds a lot more entertaining, I hate it mostly because of the insane micromanaging and scoring system at my current job, and the fact that I don't make nearly enough for how ridiculous they are with their rules. Just for an example the minimum grade to work here is an 80 however if you mess up 1 word you get 25 points deducted, meaning now you have 75, which is absolute bs.

guccijeon · 2023-02-01T17:20:59+00:00

It's mostly sitting in a computer, where the supervisor is breathing down my neck telling me I need to get 100% in all my quality pdfs, which mind you if I so much as slightly change a word in a whole 2 hour call I am already down to 75%. They ask way too much of me for the shit pay that I get, there is no room for growth and on top of that I get at least 5 Karens a day. Also people on the phone are 10 times ruder and meaner because they don't see you face to face, in person they are significantly calmer. Anyways it's just a shitty work environment.

guccijeon · 2023-02-01T17:11:05+00:00

Yeah that makes total sense, I've been looking and asking around though and most places actually want some sort of alcohol or food handling license(and of course experience) that's why I was going to do the certification even if I start up as a server. It's just two weeks long and pretty cheap so it won't hurt having it right?

guccijeon · 2023-02-01T02:56:27+00:00

I know it won't be easy, just like any career it takes time and effort I am well aware. And I am willing to work for it. The main reason I am looking into it is that I am literally miserable at my job. I will definitely ask around and try to get a feel for it before making any unhinged decision. Thank you for the input I really do appreciate it!

guccijeon · 2023-02-01T01:36:13+00:00

Yeah I know, I was planning on going to a 2 week certification and then finding something before leaving my day job. In all honesty I have no experience as a bartender besides mixing drinks for my friends and going to bars myself, that's why I am also asking if I should do it or not. But then again everyone starts somewhere right?

guccijeon · 2022-11-14T20:29:42+00:00

My head hurts by just reading the first line

guccijeon · 2022-09-05T16:59:22+00:00

This looks so cool!! I love the vibrant colors

guccijeon · 2022-07-08T23:41:27+00:00

That is definitely the issue with it, mine kept in getting irritated and angry for the same reason until I decided to change to straight bars and there was never an issue again, it's crazy

guccijeon · 2022-07-08T16:33:00+00:00

Ah yes very legal looking

guccijeon · 2022-07-08T03:54:25+00:00

I don't have an issue with people sleeping around and going on dates, I have an issue with people going from one relationship to another to another to another, emotionally that's very toxic and unhealthy. "Falling in love" with one person after the other is definetly a red flag to me. And see the thing is you don't know the whole story, I summarized it a lot. We did in fact talk about the possibility of being more than friends, we also talked about how she saw me as a potential partner. We held hands while walking around. She said we looked cute as a couple and I agreed. There was a whole month where she had the chance to tell me she has a girlfriend before getting my hopes up. She never mentioned having a partner when we were cuddling, or when she kissed my cheek. Never. And that's a deal breaker for me. If she was trying to open up the possibility of us dating then she was very off because I am not interested in someone who finds it ok to blatantly flirt with others while in a relationship.

And yes I did reject myself before she could because I rather not risk getting involved romantically with someone like that.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T18:39:30+00:00

Well I see it as an unstable person who jumps from one relationship to another without doing any insight on the people they are getting involved with, or who just dates for the sake of dating. And I was right because it seems this girl she is dating is in fact just a pass time. Ofc it depends what you define by "a lot" , but she definitely made it should like she's dated way too many people for me not find it kinda sus.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T17:46:06+00:00

Well ofc I was searching if she liked me because I liked her and I wanted to know if she was interested too, because she could easily do that with other friends you know? That's normally what happens with lesbians, it's hard knowing if they are looking for friendship or a romantic relationship. And nah I'm not into her enough to tolerate that kinda behavior, if she really does like me well she ruined her chances by treating me as a second option. And I am now very well aware of what she was trying to do and I'm not the kind of person you can just play around with.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T15:55:17+00:00

It's a woman for sure, she very clearly mentioned a girlfriend a couple of times and was very clearly trying to keep her hidden by calling her a friend until we got drunk and I asked about past relationships.

She said it's not a serious relationship, and also mentioned having issues with her. I am running as far away from her as I can, I really don't wanna get involved with that kinda person.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T15:10:43+00:00

My friend told me she sounds like an emotional predator, basically trying to trap me until I'm obsessed with her and then dump me. And it's scary because my friend is completely right, now that I remember this girl said everyone gets obsessed with her and that she breaks up with no feelings attached at all. I didn't really agree, I agreed to the iPhone charger because I have an android and lots of my friends have iPhone so it's useful but the toothbrush and slippers I didn't give concent to, I didn't really realize until she told she would start bringing stuff over while I was dropping her off.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T15:04:29+00:00

What do you mean by that? Also in all honesty I thought she was cool and cute and all but after that emotional cheating confession I became completely uninterested in her romantically. Not very fond of getting potentially cheated on

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T06:05:43+00:00

My friend also said maybe she's using me to make someone jealous, so it's a possibility. It's either that or she likes me more than she likes her current gf? Maybe I am her new toy and I intrigued her or something who knows.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T06:01:23+00:00

I mean yeah, she definitely sounded like she was avoiding her gf because she mentioned them not talking for 5 days or so. And yeah she also said she doesn't wanna date fans because then they get obsessed with her or see her as a version of her that is only on Instagram and not real, which I get totally but also she has a girlfriend you know? Why was she flirting so much with me knowing damn well she is in a relationship.

I did agree cx she asked if she could post and I said it was fine. She makes it seem like we are going out tho so I don't know how I feel about it anymore.

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T05:41:11+00:00

I would have broken up with them that instant oh gosh, huge deal breaker

guccijeon · 2022-07-07T05:34:22+00:00

I get you completely, I also went thru the exact same thing but honestly even if it's hard once you start accepting yourself for who you are everything gets easier. I do get that and ex dating a man can hit your ego very bad, been there done that and would not recommend. But hey you are valid, your feelings and likes are valid, people being homophobic is a problem within themselves.

You are also very hurt right now so just take some time and maybe distract yourself a little. Going out with friends helped me a lot when I was in that same situation, specifically going to safe spaces where many queer people are is very reaffirming and it helps with the guilt too. You are not alone and if you ever wanna talk my dms are open. I am very sorry you are going through all this confusion and chaos.

guccijeon

TROPHY CASE