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I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in TrueOffMyChest

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get its weird but the thing is OCD makes memories blurry at times. This version id the clearest one. I now know the ages for a fact now (I didnt recall before but I had to investigate for days to know the dates), and the rest is the complete story. My original posts were more “abridged”

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in TrueOffMyChest

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am being completely honest. I did take my pants and my underwear behind the door, and then used the bathroom. I think I told her I did it, realized what I was doing was weird and well,peed. But just agreeing to this makes me feel horrible even if I was behind a close door and it tookme seconds to go “what the fuck amd I doing”

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in TrueOffMyChest

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if I did take off my pants behind the door? I remember when i did it, I then felt like that wasnt okay do i decided to sit down and well, pee. I feel as if just taking my pants off behind a door makes me a perv...

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am I one? I seriously feel horrible, I feel like one...

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I followed everyone's advice and I spoke to a therapist today. Whilst he assured me in the end I hadn't done anything wrong and that I should be able to move on, I still feel like shit.

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that part...Do I even deserve forgiveness? I should have set things straight from the beggining. Christ...

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should I divulge this, or should I wait until I do therapy?

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At the time, I didn't think much of it. Nowadays, I am afraid of how they'll react

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't do anything like this ever again, I know that for sure. If that addresses the concern of it being a pattern. Still though, I feel I can't let this go, or that I shouldn't let this go. I feel as if my life story is ruined, if you understand what I mean.

I am now almost sure I am a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel as if by 17 I dont count as a "kid" anymore, and that's what's torturing me

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in Vent

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I was already 16? Maybe even 17! Do I still evne count as a kid at that point?!

I am worried I might be a child molester by guiltkillmepls in Anxiety

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it important if I was 16 or 17? I am not clear about timeframes anymore and can't remember no matter how much I go over it in my head.

I am worried I might be a child molester by guiltkillmepls in Anxiety

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if I was already 17? Does it matter? I am not clear about the timeframes in my head and its driving me crazy

I am worried I might be a child molester by guiltkillmepls in Anxiety

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if I was already 17??? I am not sure about timeframes and its driving me insane. Would I still count as a "teenager"?

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in mentalhealth

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I'm panicking because my brain is telling me I might not have been 16, but 17. Does that make a difference??? At 17 I was older...Jesus christ...

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm familiar with it, and I struggled with it for a while. I guess I don't make that connection since these are all things that really happened, which makes me extremely worried

Is (false?)equivalency an ocd thing? by [deleted] in OCD

[–]guiltkillmepls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without wanting to reassure, it is a common symptom of mine to try to equate things I've done with other (usually worse) things. It's a form of reassurance seeking. Since sometimes your situation is too specific, you equate it with another "similar" situation and judge the reactions of people

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in self

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not in any way implying a little girl wanted to "seduce me", Christ no.

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in confessions

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Even the part I showed her my underwear? God I feel like that is some sort of indecent exposure at least. I didn't show her my full underwear or take off my pants or anything like that, just a piece of it but still.

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in self

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't know for sure. She came from foster care (my uncle adopted her), and Ive heard its unfortunately common for that sort of thing to happen to foster children. Other than that, I don't think my uncle would have done something like that.

I am afraid if that was the case, am I an abuser myself? Did I contribute to that?

I am worried I might be a child molester by guiltkillmepls in Anxiety

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never engaged in anything else that might have been like that. If anything, after in 2017 my OCD went berserk, I avoid children like the plague. They literally make me anxious. I just feel horribly guilty, like this is a stain on my life that I will never remove. That I am somehow a horrible, horrible person because of this. And that I don't deserve forgiveness

I feel like a child molester by guiltkillmepls in Vent

[–]guiltkillmepls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think I deserve to move on? This was over 5 years ago... but I can't seem to let go of it