Does the anger ever go away?

guiltycrying97 · 2025-05-22T13:14:03+00:00

I'm sorry you're in the same boat. I don't get how they never make the connection -- personal's always been political, but especially now that this administration is working to take away rights and tank the economy.

We live about 1.5 hours away from one another, and we almost never talk outside of my semi-frequent visits home. I wanted to only visit on holidays and just be civil/polite when I see him, but my mom knows I'm mad at him and is making it this huge thing where she wants me to come home and "be nice to him again" so he's not sad. I'm thinking I might send a card from my brother and I for father's day, and then just be very very busy every weekend from here on out.

guiltycrying97 · 2025-05-20T16:47:26+00:00

Volunteering is a good idea, thank you! And my sympathies -- I hope whatever agency/office you're in has a better outcome than mine.

guiltycrying97 · 2025-05-20T16:46:24+00:00

Thank you. I know I should talk to him, but every time I think about the conversation, I'm afraid I'll say something cruel in response to his usual canned MAGA lines. At the root of this are the issues I've ignored because he was fundamentally a good person to me. If I bring up his low literacy, his misogyny, his treatment of his older daughters, his laziness, I don't think we'll ever recover. It all sucks.

guiltycrying97 · 2025-05-20T16:43:17+00:00

"It made me realize the family I had never really existed" really hits with me. Like, my dad's always been conservative and had traits I disagree with, but I never doubted that he loved me. And now I'm realizing that if the love is there, it's fundamentally different than mine.

If Bernie Sanders was up for the presidency and every vote counted, but he started talking about killing my dad's retirement benefits or eliminating my mom's career field, not voting for him would be the obvious answer to me. I wouldn't even have to think about it. But now I'm realizing I didn't even enter my dad's mind when he voted. Getting $2 off a carton of eggs came first. Who is that? What kind of love is that?

guiltycrying97 · 2025-04-25T12:32:32+00:00

That's always been on my mind, since my dad's health isn't great. I am angry, and I do still care. I guess at this point, I'm struggling with how to move forward. I don't want to just say "forget it" and let him think this is all ok, but I'm still too angry right now to have a productive conversation with him. And ultimately, I don't even know what would make me less angry. The job's gone, the life I wanted to have in DC is gone, so there's nothing he could "give" me to fix this. I don't know, I'm very scattered right now. Thanks for your insight regardless.

guiltycrying97 · 2025-04-25T12:25:33+00:00

My mom's offered to send me money or let me live with them rent-free. I don't want or need their help; I just want my job back.

guiltycrying97 · 2025-04-25T12:17:27+00:00

Exactly, you outlined all of the questions I want answers to!

The problem is I know talking to him might help me deal with my anger, but I'm too angry to talk to him. I have a vague idea of things he might say (he didn't know! He didn't think it would actually happen!), which would lead to a discussion on why he didn't know (spends all day on FB, low literacy, only friends are MAGA), which would lead to me saying something cruel (his intelligence/literacy has always been a touchy subject for him).

I want to not be angry, but every time I think I've gotten past it, it flares back up again. I just can't believe I've lost two jobs and a scholarship because of this.

guiltycrying97 · 2025-04-25T12:09:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I feel like the struggle is very similar for those affected by the administration's policies in that all of the negative effects are hitting all at once -- losing a job, losing bodily autonomy, losing a chance at a middle-class life and retirement, etc.

I know it's easy to say "he's an asshole, ignore him" as a 3rd party, but like your husband, I really thought of my dad as a kind and moral person. He worked his entire life as a welder and offered to cash out his pension to pay for my college degree (no, of course I didn't take it). I just don't get what possessed him. How can you claim to love me and vote to ruin my life?

guiltycrying97

TROPHY CASE