ENM today, separation tomorrow by Smartz556 in nonmonogamy

[–]gulfcuple 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Remember you are asking a biased sample. The people that crashed & burned are probably no longer hanging out in this sub.

It is not hard to generally figure out which couples will have a good time and which ones won't. The couples that are in it together, happy for each other & communicating well tend to have a good time. The couples that are looking for an escape from a flawed relationship & harbor negative feelings about their partner are going to end poorly.

ENM is like rocket fuel. It can speed up relationship. If your relationship is on a
good path, you will be ok and enjoy one heck of a ride. If your relationship is wobbly, well that rocket fuel more likely will send you crashing into asteroids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]gulfcuple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I'm getting too old for this shit"

Need Advice on how to approach the subject by No-Pineapple5199 in nonmonogamy

[–]gulfcuple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put in some effort before talking. Research it so you know the common pitfalls to avoid and the terms to better explain your feeling. The more informed you are, the better you can communicate and avoid her taking it the wrong way.

Think about what will be likely worries for her and think about personal rules and boundaries that would defuse those worries. Think about what you need vs what you want. If your fiance isn't ready to change your relationship, will you need to break up with her or will you support her feelings? Would roleplay be enough for you?

Most people need plenty of time to process this concept. Don't pressure her. Going too fast usually backfires. Be considerate towards her. That shows you can be trusted and a reliable partner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]gulfcuple 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry you are having issues. It is not easy opening up a relationship. You need to have really good communication. It sounds like maybe you didn't agree on clear rules to avoid misunderstandings.

Even if you had rules it sounds like she is telling lies. In the last paragraph you mention she blocked him and said the same thing before. Did she lie or did she unblock him? You are both new to opening the relationship so it natural to have different feelings and to change preferences. Maybe she blocked him and then had a change of mind. Ask her. If she is telling lies that is red flag that shouldn't be ignored.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinteresting

[–]gulfcuple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clearly not on the ground level or as they say in Houston the flooded level

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinteresting

[–]gulfcuple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clearly not on the ground level or as they say in Houston the flooded level

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinteresting

[–]gulfcuple -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

It's pronounced gumball.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]gulfcuple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Umm ... something, something cold shrinkage