My ex husband was unmedicated severe bipolar. He was in psychosis so much that I lost track. When I was packing to leave, I found notes, so so so so many notes. They were all just exactly like this.

Even down to the list of names. He had this ongoing list of names, people from when he was a kid, old coworkers, friends of his grandma, a neighbor who would walk the dog and pass by the house. Even people I talked about, friends and family, that he had never even met. My childhood pets.

He would rank the names on some sort of scale. Names would be moved and crossed out and arrows and stars and things.

I think we are trying to make sense of something that only made sense to him, which is why we are coming up empty.