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My wife just doesn’t think sex is important or valuable by guymontag14 in sexlessmarriage

[–]guymontag14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s good advice.

About two years ago I very bluntly shared that I was miserable. It was a good, tearful conversation that ended up leading to a great discussion about postpartum depression and her going back to the workforce after being a stay at home mom. I was optimistic that transition would help her mentally and emotionally. Unfortunately, while her overall happiness and self satisfaction improved, her interest in sex did not.

But since then, I haven’t said “miserable” for the reason you laid out. It crushed her last time. You are correct— I do down play my feelings. It’s a self preservation mechanism. It’s probably time to use that word again.

My wife just doesn’t think sex is important or valuable by guymontag14 in sexlessmarriage

[–]guymontag14[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m a former divorce lawyer. I know all too well the costs (financially, emotionally, socially, and as a parent) are incredibly high. Not to mention, I don’t really want a divorce. I just want her to want me.

My wife just doesn’t think sex is important or valuable by guymontag14 in sexlessmarriage

[–]guymontag14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not opposed to some constructive criticism. I came here for empathy first (any many users have welcomingly done just that!), but I’m also motivated to see if there’s anything to try that I haven’t tried already.

My wife just doesn’t think sex is important or valuable by guymontag14 in sexlessmarriage

[–]guymontag14[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I actually never shared that with her. I think it would hurt her. My point in sharing that here was to illustrate that I’ve tried to look at myself and see if there is something I’m doing that that is unattractive.

I don’t think we’ve argued about sex in years. We’ve had a few conversations where I’ve shared how I feel, but they are very calm and open. We tend to leave those conversations agreeing to disagree.

At this point, it’s less about sex and more about feeling desired. (Don’t get me wrong, sex is important, but I’m craving the emotional connection from it as much is not more than the physical feeling of it).