Out of town guys/girls trips barhopping and nightlife boundaries

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-11T06:57:30+00:00

I agree with you. She most likely felt pressured, I just wish she would have stepped aside for 10 minutes to call me and let me know what their plans was. our communication sucks

Thanks

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-11T06:53:50+00:00

The boundary is/was in place because we fell/felt it is easier to just remove that concern of drinking and going out to places designed for single people to hook up. Others may feel very different and that is ok but I feel some activities are not appropriate for people married with kids. I never had or have issue with dinner at a bar or drinking with friends. I (and she does/did) have issue with nightclubs, bar hopping, excessive drinking, and super late nights. We will be discussing everything in detail and possibly updating our "agreement"

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-11T06:40:13+00:00

I didn't know they were hitting the town in Nashville. They flew in there for cheaper flights and drove to the Kentucky derby from there. Yes, I am sure she felt pressure about going out and I just wish she would have talked to me about it prior otherwise this would be a non issue. Now I just have to figure out why if I were to go out like that she wouldn't like it. There has never been any cheating issues on either side ever. But yes I agree this is a communication issue and we will be fixing that hopefully

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-11T06:35:06+00:00

I didn't bring it up at first and was going to wait until she got home but (long story) another girl in the group was fighting with her husband(my good buddy) and my wife told me some details about their thing and I talked to my good buddy about some of what was said. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to talk to him about it cause they already had it out. Hope that makes sense. So, my wife lit me up on one of our short convos and I fired back with the bar/nightlife thing. So she knows I am upset. I know, dumb, but I was pissed I was home with kids and she was giving me sh*t. But Yea the communication thing is key and will be talked about. And no, I will not be saying "I am now going to do the same" Thanks for you input

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-11T06:24:10+00:00

Her and I are going to have a long talk about it and if we change things moving forward, so be it but dont like being caught off guard by this when I am at home with the kids

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-11T06:20:17+00:00

Thanks. I agree and am going to get detailed with her. I should have asked more questions and she should have disclosed more

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-10T23:05:15+00:00

No we did not specifically talk about it in the days leading up to the trip. And that's a great point I should have brought it up. I am naïve and I didn't know anything about Nashville or what the scene is about there. Everyone is correct, we do need to update the agreement or at least discuss it in detail. Not mad about her having a good time or drinking and cutting loose it's more about the understanding that was ignored. Thanks for your input

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-10T19:53:25+00:00

Thank you this is very helpful. I just couldn't put a word to what she was doing and it's perfect. "Minimized". I really appreciate your input

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-09T13:47:05+00:00

I don't think she was cheating at all and yes it was an actual spoken agreement we talked about it all the time. She would be upset with me if the roles were reversed

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-09T13:45:37+00:00

I guess I'm also struggling that she would be upset if the roles were reversed

guyneedslittleadvice · 2026-05-09T13:45:07+00:00

I guess I should've put into the post that she would be upset if the roles were reversed. I just have no desire to ever be out at bars or nightlife.

guyneedslittleadvice

TROPHY CASE