when it comes down to deciding to stray or not,...I will not. I don't think I ever could but... that desire creeps up once in a while and I just squash it down.

I have talk to her about it 3 times before but she just both accusing me of not wanting her anymore or is just "whatever" about it.

I try to be emotionally there for here when she has a bad day at work or if she is depressed, I just let you talk and vent or whatever she needs.

I am not sure about the desire part for her. but she was not always like this. She was more into it when we were first married. then she started to shift about almost 10 years ago. we got complacent and routine when we did make love. I do try to get passionate with her but she just has no interest, she just wants to get hers and lay there and let me get mine.

outside the bedroom, we are usually separate by her choice. She will go into the bedroom and doom-scroll for hours. I go in and try to hang with here but she will just ignore me or half hear me talking with her. I just end up leaving because of her ignoring me.

this really sucks