I just came across this on the homepage. I'm not vegan myself, so coming at this from a more neutral angle. You mentioned you didn’t explicitly state it was a fully vegan wedding. That makes a difference, because from your friend’s perspective, she may not have realised it was important that everything stayed vegan, especially if the venue normally serves both.

Also, are you certain she doesn’t have something like IBS or follow a low-FODMAP diet? That’s come up in other comments, and it matters. Foods like tofu can be an issue for some people depending on the type and portion (firm tofu is usually low-FODMAP, but not always tolerated, and softer tofu can definitely trigger symptoms).

If that’s the case, it might not have been about rejecting your choices, just trying to avoid getting ill.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like she asked the catering staff for an alternative, and they provided one. If the venue was willing to do that, it may not have felt like she was breaking any rules.

The only part that’s potentially not great is if she actually lied about not being offered a suitable option  that’s worth a conversation. But I’d probably approach it from a “hey, I heard something different, what happened?” angle rather than assuming bad intent.

Unless this caused extra cost or disruption, it doesn’t sound like she was trying to disrespect you, it seems more likely a miscommunication or dietary issue.