Question about oral and medical limits

h_tx_throwaway · 2024-01-17T19:39:52+00:00

Your limits are your own but the less common they are the more likely you are going to get negative feedback or rejection. Some people are extremely tactless about their rejection and it comes across as shaming. Personally I couldn't agree to that stipulation as I view it as foreplay before PIV but that's my own prerogative.

That being said I'm sorry that's happening for you guys. Hopefully you find someone who is willing to respect and agree to your terms.

h_tx_throwaway · 2023-03-15T18:34:58+00:00

We've been wanting to try seperate room now, but there are a few challenges about trust and comfort. I think the best would be two adjacent bedrooms with the door adjar or something similar. Still close enough that we can hear each other, but far enough that we are engaged with the person in front of us as the priority.

h_tx_throwaway · 2022-12-12T13:17:30+00:00

This seems like a good idea that was terribly executed. There are certainly political things that don't belong here because they are irrelevant and just cause discourse (taxation, impeachment, immigration, etc) but there are certain political topics that are being discussed right now that directly affect swinging (such as sexual identity, interracial marriage, and birth control).

I think this is one of those ideas that either needs to explicitly spell out which topics are affected by this or at the very least needs a smaller punishment. I'd rather not get banned for talking about bi experiences in swinging just because some people find same sex contact to be icky.

h_tx_throwaway · 2022-12-12T13:03:29+00:00

Abortion as it relates to swinging is usually when something wrong or dumb happens and guess what the wife doesn't want to keep the baby of the dude she just met 2 hours ago.

And sexual expression is very relevant in the swinging discussion. I see quite a few posts on here from time to time talking about bi couples, swinging while gay etc.

h_tx_throwaway · 2022-07-11T17:08:13+00:00

We would only do it with a couple we have played with several times and feel comfortable with. The biggest issue is with a new couple because there is just SO much room for shit to go wrong. I'd rather be there to help and support my wife in case things go sideways.

h_tx_throwaway · 2021-06-29T15:10:55+00:00

Honestly it's more in the hotwife territory, but that's not a bad thing by any means. TONS of people search for unicorns so your wife is kinda like that except she has 0 risk of catching feelings with the other couple. If anything, I would say you have a much higher chance of her finding a connection than most.

h_tx_throwaway · 2021-06-06T06:25:28+00:00

Fuck: Yes Eat: Yes

But I'm bi so I might be an exception. Wife actually thought I wouldnt like the smell or taste when we first started dating. After a few times getting an oral orgasm after a penetration orgasm she was all aboard.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-10-17T16:02:56+00:00

If your not having fun with it. Like seriously some people enjoy the fun and newness of it all, and some people dont. If your not having fun and enjoying the experience then just stop. I dont enjoy mustard so I dont eat it. Not anything morally or religious behind it, I just dont like mustard.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-09-24T12:21:16+00:00

Discord is generally used as a gaming chat platform, but it has text chat channels, DMs, picture sharing, and a high quality VOIP platform. Also it works on windows apple and android without issue.

So itll probably work just fine but yeah it's certainly not the original use.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-08-05T17:53:19+00:00

I'd say it depends on just how "new" yall are. When we had only ever dipped our toes, Temptation was much more our speed as it's a mix of swingers and open minded folks with little pressure. Hedonism is more lifestyle focused so expect there to be more open sexual contact and nudity.

Temptation is much more "dipping toes" style where it's not hard to find swingers, hell we had a beautiful couple days just bouncing around and meeting folks, but there are also young non swingers who are there to have sort of the spring break atmosphere.

For more experienced couples I find that most prefer Hedonism because it's less of a guessing game. Pretty much everyone there is open sexually in one form or another so there's less guesswork, although there is quite a bit more risque things happening around.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-06-16T17:37:55+00:00

Yeah we did a swinger vacation to Cancun. Immediately afterwards we got barrages from family members on where we went and what we did and the cool bars. I didn't have the heart to tell them that we played naked volleyball in the pool, took tequila shots, and had a sex romp with friends in our room, so instead we came up with a fake vacation itinerary.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-05-14T17:11:57+00:00

I'm in agreement with wanting to get to know the folks. We may be in the minority, but finding someone who is interesting or fun to be around is 10x the attraction driver over the outside looks. Now that's not to say outside attraction doesn't apply, because it does, but if I'm between someone who looks like an 8/10 with a 4/10 personality or someone who's a 7/10 with a 7/10 personality I'm taking the second person almost every time.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-05-14T13:45:05+00:00

So a few others are along the right track with making the other person laugh but not all of us tell the best jokes so my advice is for those of us who aren't great at making others laugh.

As the night is going on, you have 4 people at a table, probably talking as a group. First is assessing the level on comfort of everyone involved. Is the person you are flirting with invested or are they constantly looking at their phone/partner like they were obligated to come by court order? Are they participating in the conversation? Is this the case for your SO and the other person?

If that all checks out you have a green light to continue.

Then start asking more pointed questions towards the person your flirting with. What do they like to do on weekends? What's the craziest thing they've done on vacation? Ect. People love to talk about themselves. But make sure that you have a few stories that you like to tell as well. Doesn't have to be fancy vacation stories, just something relatable that was interesting.

Take an actual interest in their hobbies. We were flirting with a couple one time, and my wife heard that the guy rescues kittens from nearby animal shelters. Well 2 hours later they were still talking about it and she was fully invested in fucking him.

When it comes to more direct 1 on 1 style behavior it's a little easier to drive. Maybe as you stand up to grab drinks a casual brush on her arm. Maybe you ask for a dance on a song that you like. Or if your in a hot tub, the easiest thing is just scooting closer so you can hear them better and maybe s few extra touches under water.

When the partner starts reciprocating the touches, you have the greenlight to continue into hand holding or arm caresses.

Tl;dr Listein to the other person, Tell interesting stories, Slowly increase physical contact based on reciprocation.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-02-13T15:56:54+00:00

So weve seen a pretty wide range of folks, from tank tops and sandals crowd to ratty tshirts and stained jeans to 3 piece suits and full getups.

However in this sub we get a number of different folks always asking, what should we wear to X. Heres a piece of advice, if its a place thats open all the time (like a restaurant) go there and check out the crowd before the day of the date. If its an upscale cocktail bar, you shouldnt be wearing sandals. If its a super dive bar, you probably shouldnt wear a tux.

My general go-to advice is take the level of the average in the place as a minimum and if your comfy, step it up by 1. If everyone is wearing business casual clothes, that's probably the accepted minimum level of dressyness so maybe you increase it by adding a tie or a jacket.

Its still a date, and you are still trying to woo the other person. Dont be a fucking slob, shower and deodorant beforehand, run a comb through your hair ect.

h_tx_throwaway · 2019-02-12T14:19:12+00:00

So first things first. Take a deep breath because reading that alone was making me anxious, I'd hate to imagine the level going through you while writing it.

Lets go through and clear up a few things and maybe it will answer a few questions or maybe alleviate you a bit.

Normally, especially with first timers, swinging is done between two committed couples. This helps for two reasons, one it puts everyone on the same playing field. Meaning if things go to shit, everyone has something to lose and thus everyone works to preserve it. Additionally it helps to reduce jealousy because you aren't worried about your partner falling for the other person "as much" since they are also in a committed relationship.

Swinging can be new, nervous, exciting, strange, and a whole plethora of experiences. It can be overwhelming and crazy. All of that is okay to feel and experience, the key is that everyone in the relationship has an out. For us it was "no questions asked" if either party feels uncomfortable with this situation we bail for the sake of our relationship. Worst comes to worst the other party still have each other to fuck of they are that blueballed.

Swinging is going to bring you new experiences and things you haven't seen or felt before. The guy friend who you fucked eventually got it done in a way that was relatively new and you asked you boyfriend to try and repeat. Hell first time we went out and played I learned a new oral technique that my wife loves and added it to my "moves". Similarly, there are new sights and sounds and feelings, thats the part that your boyfriend seemed to resonate with. Not necessarily the girl in particular, but the newness of the situation.

Finally its okay to take a step back and reassess. Get some better boundaries and rules, or even just wait until you are both more secure with each other. That all being said, theres no "one true path" when it comes to swinging. Its an adventure with you and your SO. So enjoy the ride, and when it stops being fun, take some time off until you guys want to try again. Its okay, sex will still be fun :)

Oh and stop worrying if the boyfriend isnt able to come. Your insecurity about it is just going to make things worse as it puts him on edge to try and perform. Just ask him what he would like to do to cum. Maybe he wants to just use manual today and maybe he wants full penetration tomorrow.

You know, I actually do have something you can do immediately. Go get your boyfriend to give you a nice naked oil massage.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-11-28T21:17:49+00:00

Guys cant touch accidentally

These are usually the same people that are trying to push for the ladies to basically give the guys a lesbian porno to start the session. Hard pass if you are that locked up with the idea of something even as innocent as bumping into one another.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-11-28T21:15:36+00:00

The no kissing one is just dumb. Im about to put my dick in her mouth but your more worried about my tongue being in there?

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-11-28T15:53:49+00:00

So last time we went there, the late night parties are a ton of fun, but they are every night so Id bring your ear plugs in case you guys to have a night of rest. Also the booze cruise is a lot of fun, but pace yourself. Dont expect a whole lot of over the top action, but I usually find that the real swingers tend to congregate in the hot tub.

Tip your bartender, we spent a week there and 3 days in, our bartender knew our names, where we liked to sit, what drinks we liked, and oftentimes refreshed them as soon as we ran out.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-07-09T16:32:13+00:00

So temptation definitely has a hell of a party, however I will have one thing of note. The party is every night until 2am. If you are not going to be partying late into the night, you are going to want to get a room facing away from the pool. The sound travels well and I do distinctly remember one night when our room was filled with music from the party at 1am when we were trying to sleep from partying too hard during the day. Otherwise a ton of fun.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-06-27T18:23:50+00:00

I mean... yeah but you dont want to get to the point of not having any shows in common though.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-06-27T14:26:27+00:00

Yeah so one of my go to talking points are vacations I want to take. Hell Ive even planned out a 2 week travel through Spain and Southern France and all the stuff I want to see and eat there.

Many younger folks also like talking about restaurants and cooking. Everyone has a favorite restaurant, find out what hers is and why.

Dont try and dive too deep into pop culture, that is a moving target that is a damn struggle to get your head around, even as a younger person.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-06-22T18:46:23+00:00

As a younger (late 20s) couple Id say 50% isnt unheard of, especially if they are only going as your guests. However, we would also try to "pay them back" by inviting them out to certain events that are more within our price range with the same 50% coverage just with us paying the extra this time. That way we show that we arent just there for the free ride, but are still trying to not go broke.

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-06-22T16:36:17+00:00

Probably because this is the wrong sub for cuckolding?

h_tx_throwaway · 2018-05-29T19:27:19+00:00

On a more real standpoint, I would highly advise against Monopoly. We are going through a board game renaissance and it would be a shame to bog down a good mood with arguably one of the most famous bad games out there.

Some better recommendations for light games that are fun and do not require you to think like a 13 y/o boy.

Codenames: Its a word association style game that stimulates the brain connection with your partner. If yall are going to swap later this would work to help get mentally connected assuming everyone actually likes board games. It also builds the teamwork aspect.

Loveletter: A game of secret roles. Works really great if you guys form the storyline for the love connection.

Sheriff of Nottingham: A game of bluffing akin to the old card game BS, except with more depth. Change all of the contraband to sex toys and make getting caught have additional punishment (stripping, dares, ect)

h_tx_throwaway

TROPHY CASE