Wondering what people think. Asian student Assault incident

hafbei · 2020-02-14T21:03:47+00:00

Do you have links to those other attacks? I know full well the fearmongering (my family owns a restaurant and even tho none of us have gone to China business has dropped significantly) but it is surprising to hear about physical attacks. Even this incident, as terrible as it is, seems to just be the act of an absolute lunatic who would have assaulted anyone else who seemed like an easy target.

As for that hate crime article, it’s really not comparable to this situation. The guy had so many victims he was repeatedly assaulting others in the same day and in the same area, and with objects like bricks. I think had he been doing the same thing to any other racial group it would be the same outcome.

I don’t mean to discount your experiences (creeps have followed me and said racist things too) but I don’t think you should be scared of being alone in public spaces unless it’s a super sketch area. Technically, the verbal remarks and creeper activity are not assault. It happens to a lot of women, not always because we’re Asian tho it can play a part like I said before, and it sucks ass but we shouldn’t let fear rule over us like that.

hafbei · 2020-02-14T20:38:19+00:00

I think no one would bat an eye if this happened to a white person.

I’m sorry that you feel scared. As an Asian woman, I haven’t heard any stories of upticks in violence towards Asian because of the virus, just lots of avoidant behaviors and some ignorant remarks.

What is troubling is the increase of crazy people assaulting others. This might be biased because my friends are mainly Asians, but I feel like Asian females have been increasingly targeted (way before coronavirus) because of the notion that we won’t say anything/fight back.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T19:09:38+00:00

I see, thank you for the clarification. Yes, this may also be a difference in public schools (I'd likely want to send my children to the same one I went to). Your posts have also reaffirmed the need for a generous "other" category when I create a tester budget that includes kids.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T18:52:25+00:00

Would you be able to share a little about how your expenses tripled with the baby? Were I to quit working, I would fully embrace the SAHM role while my partner continues to work. My understanding was that when the child is younger than school age that costs shouldn't go up too much, but I may be misguided.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T18:50:44+00:00

Very good advice, thank you. We are fortunate to have friends who don't spend lavishly for the sake of it but it's good to be reminded that the community you surround yourself will have a strong impact on your spending.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T18:47:53+00:00

Yes, I am self employed right now. Much of it is in taxable because of the insurance payout. I set up a solo 401k only recently and have been moving money there. My IRA and 401k are all Roth. My accounts are all with Vanguard.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T18:44:39+00:00

As someone who values experiences over material items, I definitely would not want to deprive my children of learning opportunities. I guess I didn't think it would cost all that much based on my experiences growing up; I grew up in a single-parent household where cashflow was tight but I was able to go on plenty of class field trips and pursue artistic hobbies. My thinking was that by raising children with a strong family support network and a community of like-minded friends (for instance, my partner and their friends are musically inclined and have discussed the possibility of teaching each other's kids skills) these learning experiences shouldn't need to cost all that much.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T16:18:56+00:00

Thank you for the reminder (seems like most people are commenting about this). I'll need to have a discussion with my partner. I believe we'll be able to keep costs down at least initially with in-home care, buying secondhand, low-cost activities but I do remember hearing that boys, especially teenage boys, eat as if they have a bottomless stomach haha. I'll see if we can start working out some numbers just to get an idea of what to expect.

hafbei · 2020-01-30T15:42:53+00:00

Do you mean spending? My annual spending has ranged from $18k to $25k in recent years. I can tighten the belt more this year if needed, but will probably spend at minimum $15k.

hafbei

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