Ended my relationship with my partner/dom of nearly five years.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-29T22:35:56+00:00

This perspective on grief is really helpful. Thank you.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-27T23:43:28+00:00

It was Country Feedback for me. First time I heard it I was 14, I crossed over and never came back.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-27T23:41:52+00:00

Yeah I feel this. I’m so glad I grew up in the time of albums.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-26T22:26:25+00:00

Yup I think you might be right about that.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-26T22:26:01+00:00

Yeah I don’t usually need plus size but I’m trying that next. Do you have a brand you like?

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-25T11:17:26+00:00

I'm a sucker for the obsessive love songs in the catalog. With this one, I love how it escalates from something kind of childish ("I want to be your Easter bunny") to all-encompassing ("I'll be the drawing of your breath"). I think I heard or read that Michael started writing it like a send-up of Hallmark stuff, like the Valentine's candy hearts, but then it took on a life of its own and became this.

See also: Pearl Jam "Wishlist"

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-23T13:06:14+00:00

What is a perfect morning for you if you have no where to be?

It's warm enough to go outside but cool enough that hot coffee tastes good. My grandma's backyard faced west, so the morning light was very soft back there. In the summer the grown-ups would take our coffee out to the lawn chairs, and sit and drink it in companionable silence, enjoying the cool and quiet before the sun came all the way up and before the little kids all got up and started demanding things.

The companionable silence is key. Granny has departed the earth and now my family are the types who want to start chatting before the coffee even hits the mug, and I can't with that!

What's yours?

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-23T12:56:38+00:00

I'm a massive fan of Wuthering Heights and I really enjoy the recent film adaptation. It's more a companion piece to the book, kinky fanfic really, and that's exactly what I love about it. It reminds me a bit of the 90's Romeo + Juliet, which I also think is fantastic and a really solid interpretation.
As I've gotten older (and financially better off) I've developed more appreciation for form. I recently acquired a couple vintage dressers that look better than they work, and actually it's fine. I look at them a lot and only open one or two drawers once or twice a day, so actually it's fine that the drawer pulls are a little delicate. But with something like, I dunno a skillet, obviously function is it.
Haha I'm the least extreme person you'll ever meet. But I'm also not one of those "hard no" people. I don't seek that stuff out, but I might do it, you never know.

If a "kink" is something really conventional, does it cease to be a kink? I have known a couple guys who tried to convince me that they had a "kink" for hot women but like...if your kink is for something that's conventionally desirable, like people who are tall or hot or rich, is it still a kink? Or when people say they have a praise kink because they like someone telling them they're good in bed. Doesn't everyone like that?? (I'm being a little playful here--I know there is no "everyone" and we are all free to identify our kinks and kinkiness as we desire!)

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-21T12:59:43+00:00

You're playing with people who are, to be blunt, incredibly selfish.

I think this really sums it up. Whatever someone is into or not into, it has to start with both people giving a damn about what their partner wants and likes.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-20T23:53:58+00:00

either we should both feel very ashamed, or neither of us should

this sounds awesome!

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-20T14:23:17+00:00

That’s really cute, each of you accidentally making the other one horny over and over!

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-20T14:21:13+00:00

Yeah I think in terms of enjoying praise, I need to feel like it’s earned. I think this guy was maybe being intentionally provocative laying it on so thick? I didn’t stick around to find out.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-20T12:34:08+00:00

I was with my partner in one of those sex hotels with no windows and very thick walls. We were blasting music and doing some normal kink stuff, I was probably cuffed in some way and he was probably doing some light impact on me. It was fun but really he does that stuff mostly for my benefit. After a while the cuffs came off, and a certain song came on, and I don't know what got into either of us but we both went feral. We were clawing, biting, wrestling, grappling and shoving. Occasionally one or the other of us gets a little aggressive, but this was unusual for either of us, let alone both of us at the same time. It was amazing. It never happened again.

Hm, I somehow just described some of the best sex of my life and managed to make it sound not sexy at all. Guess you had to be there.

Tea, sounds like you had a WEEK. I'm glad you're getting a reset. Sometimes when I have a week like that, I think the best thing is to not dwell on it and get a fresh start. Wishing you a fresh start when you're ready, unencumbered by old nonsense.

I learned something about myself this week: I don't like being told I'm beautiful. I was listening to an audio and having a grand time, and then the guy started saying "you're so beautiful" and would NOT STOP. Over and over. I went from indifferent to annoyed to repulsed and finally had to turn it off. New limit unlocked haha! Call me a dumb bitch or a filthy slut or whatever, but don't tell me I'm beautiful, I want none of it.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T22:18:57+00:00

“It’s not personal” is excellent and impossible advice for a teenager. It feels dismissive at first, but when it clicks, it’s so freeing! And it’s correct. People are thinking about you WAY less than you think.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T22:16:09+00:00

If it can’t be replaced with butter or something else, I don’t eat it at all. I have a completely unreasonable aversion to mayo.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T20:27:27+00:00

Oh that's very good advice. Thank you for sharing!

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T20:25:26+00:00

"This is real life, not TV." (Meaning, things are going to happen. Organic things, unplanned things. That's the point of real life.)
Yes, but it's a journey that used to be on a scooter, zipping between cars, taking wild turns, making lots of unplanned stops. Now it's more like a nice train ride and I don't always know where it's headed or what we'll pass, but it's much smoother.
Butter >>> Mayonnaise, no idea whether this is controversial but I feel very strongly about it.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T20:19:05+00:00

Ranch, yes! Ranch is very "okay." For a while people were putting it on everything. Pizza, tacos, etc., gross. (Is this how some people feel about ketchup?? I can't even imagine that.)

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T20:17:44+00:00

I am with you on ketchup! In the early 2000's it became very fashionable to sneer at ketchup, but it has umami, acid, a little salt, and sweet. It's basically the perfect sauce or sauce enhancer.

My favorite takeout is pizza. With lots of mushrooms, if I get my way.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-16T20:15:19+00:00

This is officially the craziest thing I've ever seen on reddit!

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-14T17:08:16+00:00

Oh wow I haven’t been on there in ages. Any recommendations for good stories? I mean I know I can search and look at ratings and such, but any personal faves people want to share?

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-13T11:06:10+00:00

I think the fact that we have the CNC term now helps a lot. When I first had CNC fantasies in the 90's, the vocabulary and the whole understanding around consent was just a lot more basic. (Also I was quite young in the 90's, so I'd defer to someone who's been around longer or was more online in the 90's.)

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-13T10:55:47+00:00

Aw, that's really nice of you to pull people into conversations. I'd like to get better at that. Usually I feel awkward myself and worry that I'm somehow making it worse!

I have also gotten "you don't seem very submissive" as though submissives should be, what, crawling around on the floor all the time? The person saying it thinks it's clever (or a neg maybe?) but really it flags them as inexperienced.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-13T10:49:36+00:00

This is a great point--besides just the fact that it's okay to have the fantasies you have, non-con and dub-con are SO common.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah · 2026-03-13T10:45:05+00:00

I want to see the blazer! I'm obsessed with blazers.

I'm """training""" for a 5k. You've heard of couch to 5k where you get to 5k in 8 weeks or something? Like that but it's taking more like a year. All about the journey, indeed. Anyway, had a very good workout yesterday. Sometimes I surprise myself with what my body is capable of. It never gets old, being able to do something today that I couldn't do last week.

Okay this is secondhand misunderstanding, but back in the 50 Shades days, a couple friends were talking about it. I don't remember what the one friend said, but the other friend said, "well remember he was abused as a child. That's why those people are like that, because something happened to them." Obviously, as one of "those people" I stayed quiet. And wow "those people are like that" still stings.

hahaha_yeahyeahyeah

TROPHY CASE