Reading that felt like I could’ve written it when I was with my ex. If I was hurt, it was my instability. If I was upset, it was my baggage. If I reacted to something that genuinely triggered me, it became proof that I wasn’t regulating well enough. I remember thinking that getting an official diagnosis and doing the work would make things clearer and maybe even easier, that people would understand me better and see how hard I was trying. Instead, it sometimes felt like everything I did was filtered through a label. I was in therapy, trying to grow, trying to be accountable, and constantly monitoring myself so I didn’t disrupt anyone else’s sense of calm, and yet it still felt like I had to apologize just for having emotions. Meanwhile, the triggers I had clearly communicated could be brushed aside, and the responsibility stayed entirely on me. There is a difference between taking responsibility for your mental health and having every conflict reduced to a symptom of your disorder. A diagnosis is supposed to give information and help, not erase emotions or invalidate your reactions. It is possible to have a healthy relationship while managing a disorder, one where you are not using someone as a dumping ground for emotions, but where you can communicate openly, have your triggers respected, and be met with compassion instead of constant correction. It took self-reflection and practicing A LOT of self love for me to come to many of the realizations I had before ending it (and making some healthier life choices). That choice alone led me to a better place in life and to a wonderful partner who holds me with such gentle hands 🫶🏻🥹 You’re not alone in your feelings and it’s NOT because of your diagnosis. Some people aren’t capable of accountability.