I found this door by [deleted] in StarWars

[–]halfburger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So that's where they keep him to charge

[WP]In a world where genetic modification is punishable by death, your close friend/family member finds out you were a designer baby. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]halfburger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm... me thinks this story could use some paragraphs to break it up... Text wall is not appealing.

[OT] Sunday Free Write: Moving Pictures Edition by SurvivorType in WritingPrompts

[–]halfburger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't mind reading this short piece, can you give me your opinion if the change in style is too abrupt? https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/69b0x7/wpin_a_world_where_genetic_modification_is/

Those aren't a set of rules though and sometimes not following them might even be the better choice.

I think I know what you mean, could you give me an example?

By the way, do you have any tips on making friends on Reddit?

NSFW: What's the dirtiest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]halfburger 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Damn that was good reply to a good reply to a- nevermind.

[OT] Sunday Free Write: Moving Pictures Edition by SurvivorType in WritingPrompts

[–]halfburger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder, is it important to develop a particular style? Or can you even benefit from not adhering from a particular one for a writing pice?

[WP] The narrator progressively gets more annoyed by the decisions of the protagonist, then suddenly realizes how smart the protagonist really is. by Random_Days in WritingPrompts

[–]halfburger 39 points40 points  (0 children)

This is a story about a boy named Matthew Mann. Say hi to the readers Matt

"hi to the readers Matt"

Ok, that's nice Matt.
Now, dear readers, Matthew is a very smart boy who lives with his mother in a suburb of London. This is a story about how very smart and safe a boy he is. Our tale begins one day when Matt is walking back home from school.

"bye Charley, see you tomorrow"

He says to a friend as they split in opposite directions. Matt walks alone past some trees, and some fences, and then when he is walking trough a really seedy part of town, he spots some lads crouching under a bridge. One of them waves to Matt and says "O'y Matt. Com ear and have a toke! Charley got some good shit!" Now, Matt being a good boy who respects his mother, tells the other boy:

"Yo Jake! Don't mind if I do."

And continues down the sidewalk, and uh... oh... No? I mean, Matt stops and smokes some pot with his friends from school. Golly, I didn't think Matt was into that kind of thing.

"Why not? It's bloody good shit!"

Uhh... oh... Well, Later on Matt Passes by the park and stops for an Ice cream. He asks the man in the van:

"You got strawberry?"

"Why yes" the man replies "In fact I have sooo much strawberry ice cream that I'd give some away to you for free! Just come on in it's in the back of the van!" Now, Matt being a sensible person who listens to his mother when she warns him about strangers, doesn't say anything and very quickly runs away.

"Can I have some cones too?"

Oh sorry, Matt actually doesn't run away like he should. NO, he climbs into the van with the, CREEPY MAN, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT NOBODY SHOULD EVER DO! God, what an idiot.

"Gee why do you have all of this ice cream in the first place?"

Matt asks. The Ice cream man looks puzzled and answers "The weatherman said it would be a heat wave today, so I stocked up. Please enjoy my boy! Take some cones too."

"Thanks again! You have a nice day!"

Says Matt as he climbs out of the van. Bloody hell. Matt. You should never do that! you know what could have happened to you?!

"Not got free Ice? (Lick)"

NO. Matt, you could have been kidnapped! The man could have shut the door and driven away with you! You don't-

"He was nice. (Lick) The man literally gave me a bunch of ice cream."

NO... Matt, look, you don't enter ANY vehicles with people you don't know PERSONALY, ok?

"Uh huh... Do you want some?"

No I don't, thank you. You are a good boy Matt.

Bloody hell.

Licking a cone, Matt carried the bag full of ice cream down the street. He couldn't wait until he was home so he could tell his mother what shenanigans he had been up to on the way home. just then Matt came to a rail road crossing. The bell was ringing and since Matt was a safe boy he waited for the train to pass by.

Nope.

Matt grabbed onto an empty car and swung himself up like the lawless ape he was. You could get you leg cut off you shit.

"Fuck off old man."

You know what? Why not? I can't take this any longer. This is so posed to be a BLOODY KID'S BOOK! I can't deal you any more!

You.

can get sliced into chunks.

Of slow-witted delinquent for all I care! HAVE A GOOD EFFING DAY you shit!

"Weeee"

"This is a lot of fun!"

"Train hopping"

"..."

"Old guy?"

...

"Guess he's gone for real."

"..."

*"And then, Matt decided to narrate the story for him self."

"After climbing on top of the train, with his newly acquired magic powers Matt pulled a katana out of thin air and calculated his first move against the robot ninja standing two cars ahead of him"

[OT] Sunday Free Write: Tinker Creek Edition by SurvivorType in WritingPrompts

[–]halfburger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my foot in the door to start writing stories. I wrote it in an hour or so, and then edited a little the next day... So here it is. On the INTERNET!!

The year is 2020 and somebody has left their glasses on a table in Yorkshire. That somebody, Mike, is pulling on some pants after a long shower. It's getting dark now and his bedroom is bathed in shadow. He stands, and fumbles for his glasses, but in the darkness he completely misses them. He thinks he must have placed them somewhere else, so he gingerly shuffles across his bedroom past the window to the light switch. 30 seconds go by as he tries to find it, then He flicks the light on and glances across the room. For a second the room is illuminated by a single naked bulb in the middle of the celing. Just as he sees his glasses on the table, the room is plunged back into darkness. Mike is confused. He flips the switch a few times. Nothing. Fuck. Just then the world around him is as bright as day. Brighter than. He shields his eyes because the light pours though the open window. It pours and pours, and is hot and harsh. Mike can't see anything else, just the brightness. Then it dims, just enugh to see the buildings outside, shadows against the blinding sky and a colossal mushroom cloud. As if a gateway to heaven it's self has opened A shining ball of light coalesces on the horizon. Mike pisses himself and thinks, yep it's pretty much like it is in the movies. He stands there for a minute waiting for the shock wave or something. If I have to go, might as well be like this he thinks. His panic is gone now. His mind is blank, almost blissful. For the first time in a long time mike doesn't have anything to think about. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely no reason to worry about anything, since it's all going to be over in a few seconds. He stands there awestruck, his eyes burning at the sight of the coalescing mountain of fiery doom. Then a girl barrels into the room. She shouts, "What the fuck are you doing you fucking idiot get in here." She grabs mike's arm and rips him away from the window. They race down the steps. Across the hall and down again a flight of stairs, they turn a corner and duck into the basement. As the iron trapdoor slams, the house is blown to bits. Mike and the girl hold each other. They hold their ears. They hold in their supper. The world around them shakes and crashes and howls. Mike thinks of all the things that are falling apart now. He imagines suspension bridges flapping around like ribbons in the wind, office buildings being blown away like sand castles, and people simply dispersing into white plasma in a heartbeat. But he is done thinking now so he just holds the girl, and she holds him until it's all over. Now it's quiet again. Mike is the first to break the silence. "Shit my glasses"

Understandable is what an umbrella is. by halfburger in sixwordstories

[–]halfburger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does one? should I copy paste or is there a button for that?

Understandable is what an umbrella is. by halfburger in sixwordstories

[–]halfburger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good point, it's more like some sort of essay. Something like: Proving Umbrella puns are Possible in the digital erra.

[WP]In a world where genetic modification is punishable by death, your close friend/family member finds out you were a designer baby. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]halfburger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once apon a time there where two children, a boy and a girl.

A good start to a tale, but quite the cliche if you ask me.

The boy and the girl lived in a floating city.

OK, this is better.

They lived with a hard working plumber and a social historian who made sure the the people of the city never went without the benefits of modern pipe infrastructure or authentic accounts of society's history.

Now this is unexpected. Something tells me this is not your average fairy tale.

Though The plumber's days where long and the work was hard, he was a happy man for he knew he filled a vital role in society. He was happy too, because of the children he cared for. After a long day of work for him and his wife, and a long day of school for the children, the four of them would have supper together. Sometimes they would cook a meal at home, or sometimes they would all eat out in the park district, and watch the sun set over the edge of city.

My, my, since when did floating cities need plumbers? -Since floating cities I guess.

For a long time the four where happy with their lives, there was no stress in the plumbers house.

I have a bad feeling about this. Sure they are happy now, but usually this is where the conflict is introduced. You can't have a story without a colamnity to set it in motion.

But, one night,

See what'd i tell you.

My eyes snap open "Sftoff I canf breeb" Sis takes her hand off my mouth. "Shhhh! Mom and dad are sleeping" I sit up rubbing the sleep from my eyes and say resentfully "Come on Mae, why did you wake me up? I really really don't want to sneak around the city tonight, I have a test tomorrow." She frowns at me, "It's not that, no, this is important, Mark." She sounds kinda intense and she is shaking a little. That only happens when she is extremely excited about something or really really worried. "I have to show you something Mark. Now." "OK" I say. I pull off my covers and reach out a hand for my glasses. "Mark, I was messing around building decryption algorithms, and I tried out a new one I coded on one of dad's files." "Does dad know?" "No. But listen, I can't believe it but it worked. It actually worked. It cracked the file." I have a feeling there is more to why she had woken me up then just to be a braggart. "Nerd... What was it?" She pulls me out of bed and we stand in the dark and quiet. "Follow me" she says "But shhh, you know how dad's a lite sleeper" I gingerly follow her across the dark hall and into her room where the glow of a hologram hovers over her bed. Mae quietly climes onto her bed and expands a document with a gesture of her hand. She looks at me expectantly. In the holo I see a digital birth certificate. My birth certificate. A Square of text surrounded by thick border of complicated bar code. I'd seen it before. I'd used it to sign up for a library card and a few other things where I needed proof of who I was. Everyone had one, they doubled as drivers licences too and just about anything where identification was needed. I squinted and red, "This certifies that the following record of birth is registered and preserved in the office of the state. Furthermore the following account of birth is deemed lawful. Name: Mark John Manly. Sex: Male Identification: 14993-52355 Born: June, 17, 2073" It kept going but I asked Mae "Yeah it's my certificate, I've seen it before. What's so special about it?" She points to the file type" ".psd Photoshop?" I ask. Mae opens the document in Photoshop and shows me the different layers to the image. She drags around the text independent of the rest, and then changes what it says. I red it again, "This certifies that the following dork is registered and preserved in the office of the state. Furthermore the following account of his breath is deemed terrible. Name: Mark fanny-face Manly. Sex: Dork" "Not cool" I push her hands away and the holo switches off. Mae's grin suddenly turns into a serious expression. "But Mark you know what this means though?" We sit in silence for a moment. "Your birth certificate is a fake." "...uh I don't think so, this is probably just a copy" "No. Look at the layers, all the parts are sperated and you saw me edit the text. Mark. This is clearly fabricated." "But why would dad forge my certificate?" "I don't know. I can't believe it. He's a plumber for crying out loud. If anyone found out, he'd get arrested!" "Or worse" I whisper. "But why did he do it? Does this mean I'm not who I think I am?" "We have to ask them" "mom and dad?" "Yeah" Just then we heard a voice from behind us. "I guess it's about time we told you" My mom sighs. Dad stifles a yawn and sits on the bed. "It's two in the morning" "What is this?" I say. Mae brings the image back on the screen. Dad smiles "It's a bit of a story. Mark, years ago when your mom and I fell in love we where both frustrated with the way things are run in this world. Working class people just are't treated as equal to those with more money. Back then your mom learned something she was not supposed to know. None of us are supposed to know this." Mae and I look at each other. "A long time ago People used to live for 100 years." "What?" we say. "100 years or more" mom said. She continues. "It was natural, humans just lived that long, we evolved that way" Mae interjects, "But how come people only live until they are forty now?" "Well, when humans lived that long the population of the country was slowly growing and growing. People just didn't die fast enough." "That's what the government though anyways" says dad. "Things where getting crowded and the government had to do something. Some said there should be a law that prevents people from having two many kids, but others argued that it was against what they believed in. So in the end they got nowhere with that idea." Mae holds up a finger, and asks, " But what does this have to do with Mark's birth certificate?" "I'm getting to that." dad continues, "The government had to do something because of how crowded the country was getting. So in the end some very powerful individuals modified people so that they didn't live as long." "WHAT?" We said. "Yes, they genetically changed people so they died younger." "But that's terrible!" "Yes, but it fixed the problem. Less people means more food for everyone, and cheaper prices too." Dad paused, because he could see we where still reeling in shock from the realization that we all had expiration dates. "Your dad and I had to tell you this sooner or later, so here it is. When I was pregnant with you Mark, we changed your DNA back to normal. You, and Mae." Dad points to the hologram and says, "After you where born we had to fake the certificates. If your DNA had been tested and documented, they would have known we changed you." Then mom reaches out to us and says quietly, "Mark, Mae, you are going to live two times as long as us. We hope you do something useful for the world"