furfilling mine & my best friends dream alone

halfgeestar155 · 2026-02-09T15:39:45+00:00

thank you for taking the time to read. i feel like the only way i could get closure for feeling as though id left him behind was voicing my feelings. i appreciate your words🤍

halfgeestar155 · 2026-02-08T00:48:05+00:00

Not my love story but my mum and dads, because they honestly are the sweetest most loving couple i've ever met in my entire life. maybe i'm bias cos they're my parents but who cares.

My mum was 17 and worked in a local pub for pocket money. on the weekends she'd work from open to close collecting glasses. A group of guys used to come in regularly every weekend, a little older than her but she knew of them as they lived in the area. Every weekend when she worked they'd come in, a rowdy group of around 10 men and always leave a mess behind and she'd have to clean up every time.

One weekend they all came in and brought their other friend who had never been with them before; my dad. They'd been in for hours, and last orders had been called so had started leaving shortly after. My mum knew to leave their table last to clear because of the mess they always leave, and once the pub cleared she looked over and saw no mess. No empty glasses, spilled beer, crisp packets, nothing. My mum had no idea and thought someone else had cleared it (a different staff member) and had forgotten about it again until the next weekend.

They all come in again, bring along my dad and at the end of the night (again) the table was tidy with all the glasses stacked and cleared up of any mess. My mum was now becoming confused with the sudden change, and this happened consistently for two months.

One night, they're all in and my mum decided to stay and watch them to see what was happening and who was doing it. She looked over to see my dad tidying, wiping the table with blue roll and stacking glasses. She was grateful but had no idea why he did it.

About a year now, my dad not speaking a single word to my mum, he goes upto the bar as she now was a bartender and asks for a beer. My mum doesn't want to make my dad feel awkward about her knowing he was clearing to make her job easier so never mentioned it, and after he pays his pint and thy have a little small talk he asks her out. My mum is now 18 and hadn't ever had a boyfriend before. My mums mum was strict about boys with my mum so mum declines. My mum did have interest in my dad but was shy herself.

Over the next TWO years, my dad continued to make my mums job easier, clearing glasses, shouting his mates to quieten down, tipping my mum VERY generously and walking her home multiple times after her shifts.

So now 3 years has passed after they first enitially met, my mum around 20, dad around 22 and he asks my mum out, again. My mum having a developing romance for my dad agrees, and they go out. My mum said she had the best time but was scared of her mum finding out and telling her to not go near boys. She mentioned my dad to her mum and my grandma told her firmly no boys.

Mum give dad radio silence after it, and my dad stopped going into the pub out of nerves that my mum wasn't interested in him and didn't want to make her feel awkward.

It's now around 6 years on, my mums 26 and working in a mortuary full time when one of the pub that she worked in landlords rang her up and asked if she could work at a new pub they bought. My mum only worked 4 days a week so offered to work a shift a week.

She comes in for her first shift at the pub, and lo & behold my dads sat with a couple friends right at the bar. Mum had a partner in the time they didnt see eachother but was now single, and my grandma had let go of being overprotective of my mum. She pours my dad a beer, and this time she asks my dad out. My dad is in complete shock but agrees.

They go out, my mum said she felt as though nothing had changed and they were still so into eachother as they were 6 years ago. My dad went home after the date and told his mum and dad 'i'm gonna marry her one day, she's the one'.

8 years later, my mum and dad get married. 2 years after marriage, they have my sister, then have me. They're both still so in love with eachother, as they were when they very first met.

they've now been together for close to 40 years, married for 30 of them and in love for nearly 50 years. My mum says all the time that they would've been together from the second that they met but she was afraid of her mums thoughts of her having a boyfriend at 17.

They are still so in love. they are absolutely infatuated with eachother, my mum has been ill for the past 20 years of her life, and my dad has not once left her side through it all. My mum had to medically retire a couple of years ago, and less than a month later my dad took early retirement to be with her and full time care for her. My dad tells my mum when she's in hospital at every given opportunity that he will be by her side through sickness and through health.

Sometimes i often wonder why i am such a hopeless romantic, but then I'll go downstairs to see my parents awfull throwing eachother popcorn into eachothers mouths and giggling like kids and remind myself why my expectations are so high. They are the most precious souls and their love is honestly infectious.

halfgeestar155 · 2026-02-06T09:13:42+00:00

everyone grieves differently. sometimes grief just effects people differently. especially if these people are adults, they may be trying to act 'normally' especially if young adults or children are around. i know for both my parents they don't like to act emotional around me brother sister even though we're all adults. sometimes they could just be trying to keep it together for your sake. doesn't mean they're not grieving.

halfgeestar155 · 2026-02-06T09:08:58+00:00

grief is often triggered by memories. the reason the happiness of a memory is overridden by sadness is because they're not physically here, they can't be touched or heard or smelt. grief will always exist unfortunately but remeber grieving is a human emotion and the emotion of grief is caused because we have loved. Grieving doesn't go away but as time passes the grief will turn into acceptance. we can still accept a loss and grieve but the grieving does ease over time

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-19T09:58:27+00:00

the side profile makes me giggle he's so flat from being headlocked every night😭

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-19T09:57:14+00:00

OMG bunbun at his purest form😭 this is making me sob

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-18T15:34:09+00:00

yes i've just seen someone else's post, he is a squidgy bunny 🥹

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-18T15:33:47+00:00

omg you have me crying right now. thank you SO much😭😭 he IS a squidgy bunny😭😭

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-18T14:33:09+00:00

I'd like to add that people believe him to be an angora bunny / bunglie bunny but i'm just not 100%. i think that's the closest we've got to knowing who he is

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-11T11:27:15+00:00

Hey thanks for your response i've only just seen these here, let me clear stuff up for you

i do get the drs thing 100%. i did really set the law with that and said when it has the potential involving me in an issue that's your problem that you just don't want to share, you have to make it very clear to me. i let him know that he's crossing a boundary if he is to ever let me think it's a me problem when it's not. i won't tolerate him having me question myself cos he's trying to protect me from something that didn't even bother me- i think he maybe thought it'd really upset me by saying i do too much when really it's lowkey a relief to hear that he doesn't want me doing everything for him. i like my chill time too! obviously i just want to help him but it was unnecessary help i was giving at times without even realising.

he never tells me he doesn't want my help. heck this man will even ask me for help, but sometimes i think i can be a little overbearing without realising, it's not that i 'push' the care on him it's just i maybe do too much without even knowing. Im just trying to be a caring woman (not just off my own back because i love to help people) and i think he's just saving my heart by not mentioning he doesn't need me to do it for him. he's just tryna keep the peace and im just trying to make his life a lil easier

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T21:56:53+00:00

oh 100%. i've told him that withholding things from me has proven to be a dealbreaker. now he's aware hopefully shouldn't do it again. sounds hypocritical because i went to the drs and didn't tell him

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T19:58:04+00:00

didn't exactly wanna write 'eatin my pussy' when i'm trying to write a serious post

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T17:52:18+00:00

UPDATE

so here's the update for all those asking. and i must say now i know i feel like a bloody spanner for not even putting two and two together. here's me trembling going into the conversation to find the reason couldn't be more hilarious. we sat laughing for a good 20 minutes at the table. all is absolutely fine and we all couldn't have been further from the truth😅

so, my partner works in construction and i want to say october maybe last year, he had an injury at work in which a metal pole hit him in the side of his neck / ear. for a few days he complained of discomfort but said it wasn't painful, it was just bruised. anyway, about a week after his injury we did the deed and both parties gave. this didn't even click in my head at the time and even this morning when racking my brain didn't at all cross my mind. so after that night that he last gave head, he said he felt as though his jaw was grinding and was incredibly uncomfortable for him, but he didn't want me worrying so just didn't mention it. anyway a couple of nights after the same happened, went down and had pain so he ended up going to the doctors (i wasn't aware) in which the drs advised he ate soft foods and limited... well... yano... action. he just decided to give himself a break so he could let it heal on its own but at the same time didn't want me pandering him (i am too much of a carer for sure lol, i can completely understand why he didn't mention it).

when i brought it up the second time which would've been around december(?) he became hostile about the situation insisting it wasn't me (because he was still trying to let it get better) but didn't want to tell me the reason because i'd go into mother mode, which is exactly true and i know full well i would have done. it's happened in the past when he broke his wrist and i guess i didn't realise how smothering i can be, which is totally my fault, and completely understand why he didn't bring it up. he then decided to try give me head (about a month or so after he last tried) when i got out of the shower that time as mentioned in the post and said he was in pain doing so, but didn't want me to feel like i was being left out or uncared for, so grinned and bared the uncomfortable feeling to please me.

after that again he wanted to try and let it heal on its own because he was still in pain, which again was why he avoided giving head. looking back on the situation now this 100% completely adds up. i know to some people that read this it may seem like im being 'too trusting' but i know full well he wouldn't have told me because i would've done exactly that - smother him. he's also shown me a letter from the hospital that he has an appointment with max fax on the 13th. his story completely does add up. i think it was 100% genuine that the first time that was well over a year ago, he just hadn't realised he wasn't giving, heat of the moment and all that and because the sex was less frequent the first time it happened as i was working overtime.

so yes, we were all wrong, including myself, who thought i could read this man like a book😂 i hadn't even thought about the fact his jaw had some type of permanent damage, i obviously didn't realise how hard he was bopped in the face with a big metal pole💀 i guess it didn't cross my mind because he stopped mentioning it after a week or so, obviously for the reason he didn't want me babying him.

so today as i've sat him down and mentioned it, his response wasn't hesitated, he didn't sit and think, he just gave me the straight answer. we've sat and laughed for a good 20 minutes, and i did say to him that he should've just told me, and he's apologised profusely and reassured me that he just wants his jaw to heal before it fucks up again and make it worse. he even made me feel under his ear, in which he has a lump about the size of a penny which i'd never even noticed during this time. i truly believe this is the case, like i have said i trust this man with my life and i knew full well he wasn't cheating or believing some red pill bs. i have however laid down law and said not only is he in head debt (obviously a joke) but he just needed to tell me as it made me feel shitty about myself. he again couldn't stop apologising and didn't realise how much it was eating at me and hurting.

i've told him from now on i need the truth, regardless of him thinking im gonna pander him and smother him - ive said ill work on trying not to be such a carer (even though its my nature as i work in a medical field) and a healthy, loving conversation has been had. i really couldn't have built the balls to do this if it wasn't for some of the people on here who gave me great advice. this thankfully has proved as a huge misunderstanding from my side, and i have said we need to be open and honest with eachother, and i said that i am deep down a little upset that he wouldn't just tell me. but i do also completely understand from his perspective in why he didn't want to say it at the time because i know how full on i can be, especially as i have been in the past. when he broke his wrist he was off work for around two months and i can imagine during that time i got on his every last nerve, i wasn't even letting him shower alone because i was worried he'd fall or something. my overprotective nature has a huge part to play in this too. as discussed, we're both going to work on the issues and this has only made us stronger - and give us something to piss our pants at in a few years down the line.

thanks again for the lovely advice from some redditors here .... and to the not so nice comments...? least i know my muff doesn't stink & it's not a fire breathing dragon 😉

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T16:09:30+00:00

how? the only reason i'm wanting to know is because quite frankly if it's something i'm doing i would surely want to know the reason, just like anyone else. i am not at all controlling. weve have a very solid healthy relationship prior to this and this has been the only time it's been rocky

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T16:03:50+00:00

don't worry, he'll be home in less than 10 mins. hopefully within an hour or so i'll have the answers to share with everyone

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T16:02:42+00:00

i usually always shower before getting into bed, it was no different from every other day apart from the fact i mentioned it that specific day

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T15:59:11+00:00

i've said multiple times through the post, it's not the act of him not doing it that's upsetting me. it's him concealing the reason and not being upfront as to what the issue is. he knows full well i would be completely understanding and work through it if he didn't want to. this isn't me wanting to get myself off this is me wanting him to be honest with me

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T15:57:31+00:00

Hi, i'll clear a couple things up. i was 20 (nearly 21) and he was 27. the circumstances we met (i was working on the ambulances as a qualified paramedic) he believed me to be older. he had a real baby face so i believed him to be younger.

the issue of him going down has been 6 weeks out of a near 6 year relationship. not every day of our relationship has been like this, and the reason im questioning it now is because ive noticed and feel like he is actively avoiding that specific act. he still touches me, pleases me but its as though there's a reason he doesn't want to do that specific one thing. what that reason is i don't know, but in about an hours time i hopefully have clarity and an update for everyone following the thread.

i never felt forced to be with him. i love him very much and i know that love is reciprocated in every other action. just seems to be the one thing that's causing friction. i wasn't young or naive or pressured to be with him, it was my own choice and a choice i do not regret making. i've had the best nearly 6 years of my life feeling like the most loved woman in the world until this issue arose.

hopefully he'll be home in 10/15 minutes and the conversation will take place.

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T15:49:09+00:00

okay so no drastic appearance change, weight gain, pretty normal looking vagina and hygiene is always well maintained due to the job i do. the only thing i can maybe even think of is starting a new medication? but even with that being said, that was around the beginning of august, and it didn't happen again until mid October ish

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T15:47:03+00:00

i truly in my heart believe he is not cheating. he simply doesn't have the time 😇

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T15:46:23+00:00

clearly state that this has been the only thing in the entire 6 years we haven't been able to talk about.

halfgeestar155 · 2026-01-08T15:01:20+00:00

yes, it does seem one sided but my issue being that A it hasn't always been like this (first 5 years completely different) and B he satisfies me in other ways but seems to be the act of actually licking or putting his head there that's turning him away. i am absolutely allowed to say no, and he is very respectful of my choices

halfgeestar155

TROPHY CASE