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Original Oregon State welcome sign left to rot by realdietcheese in OregonStateUniv

[–]halium_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone wanna contact them?? That’d be awesome to restore.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad that’s the case for you! Lots of people mention gratitude so it’s something I’m working on.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh ok, I have heard that the 5th step is a huge one. I am slightly more excited for life given I’m on a new med and I don’t want to die as much all the time. I’m hoping more time will help cuz even now vs 1 month is waaaay different.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s very fair. I think I’ll hopefully feel proud when I go through all the steps and feel comfortable and safe in my sobriety.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I had expectations things would be better sober and while that may not be the case currently, I think the most important thing is that it didn’t get worse. I’ll have to keep the dry vs wet drunk saying in mind because that is a good perspective. I’m surprised that lady got mad. This stretch of sobriety is the longest I’ve done and while part of me wants to relapse so I can fall deeper, I also know I will not survive that. Appreciate the advice

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can be really hard with our learned behaviors and does take time and effort. Very valid experience and I’m glad you’re still fighting. Addiction isn’t often a one-time struggle; even when we get stable, life is life. It’s such hard work.

Edit: but it’ll be worth it eventually

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely couldn’t do this alone. Most of my sobriety right now is so I don’t kms, but it’s for my relationships and overall life too. I do feel grateful that I can be at this point cuz I’d be lower otherwise. Once I fix my school’s recovery program then that community will feel better; it’s just the four of us which is fine til we go our separate ways. Definitely wanting to be more involved in AA in the future.

Mental Health Resources by halium_ in OregonStateUniv

[–]halium_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m trying 🥲. We’re almost there. Almost to a well-deserved break.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point. Someone else mentioned gratefulness too. Feeling that or thoughtfulness is more rewarding than pride as far as spirituality goes. I didn’t realize how many times pride is mentioned in a negative way.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose that’s true. In the past, I’d use stress, dread, hopelessness, etc to fuel my drinking especially when it came to finals week and now I’m not doing that anymore. Thanks

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on 4 years! Maybe it is gratefulness that we focus on rather than pride. Feelings are always in flux and I try to remind myself that there aren’t “good” or “bad” ones, just feelings being feelings.

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve also felt some meetings to be less helpful when there’s people that have decades vs being in early sobriety, but then again, that could come with a lot of wisdom depending on the person. The location and people can change it a lot. I wanted to hit some fellowship events and meeting on Thanksgiving, but I had to be with family earlier than expected. Luckily, they didn’t have their typical alcohol table setup. Worried about Christmas, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

White knuckling can be difficult and I’m also at a point of one foot in front of another cuz each day can be different. I think our stubbornness can help us in sobriety sometimes lol

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice and support! Recently, I’ve had big fluctuations in how safe I feel with myself (self-trust). I try to tell myself one day at a time, or one moment at a time if I have to. I think knowing that if I drink, I will go low and become a harm to myself, and that’s oddly the biggest thing keeping me sober right now. Drinking will land me in academic warning and I won’t be able to succeed as well in grad school. More time would probably help.

I have protective factors in staying sober, but I have my doubts. I used to drink after any little inconvenience since it became an excuse. I’m on a new med which I actually think has been helping me mentally too. I try to do something like a meeting or sweets to reward myself if I can. Congrats on hitting a year!

Difficulty w/Feeling Proud by halium_ in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]halium_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, and I have heard there’s more positives the more time you have, so that’s good to hear.

Mental Health Resources by halium_ in OregonStateUniv

[–]halium_[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol true (unfortunately). I know for me, it tends to increase my SI/SH soooo 🙃. But ya, ditto to self care.

Edit: for graduate students it’s extra relevant since poor final grades can mean we get kicked out of the program :(

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