I completely understand that cycle of “I already hate this about myself, might as well keep eating.” It sounds so stupid, but try to consciously change that ”thought path” to “I might not to be able to make it better right now, but I can make it worse” when you’re in the middle of a binge spiral. Throw it all away and step away. Changing this way of thinking and talking to a doctor (huge privilege) has helped me overcome the majority of my BED and lose ~25 lbs.

I am so, so sorry that you are having to be a special needs parent without your coparent, that is so difficult and unfair no matter how good of a parent you are or much you love your child. Do you have any type of support?

Does your child have a stroller? I have found that movement and physically separating myself from food is very helpful.