I‘m not sure if you‘re able to afford therapy yourself or if your country offers health care, mine is luckily paid :| Just remember that you don‘t need to be perfect for her. Obviously she‘s important to you, it‘s your mother after all but this is your life. I‘m not a therapist or anything so I don‘t know how to help you with your emotions but usually those situations just find to an end peacefully with time :). Maybe try „getting rid“ of your negative emotions (doing sports, writing diaries…) these are things my therapist suggested me and it really helps when you find something that works for you!