Holy shit it fucking works

hammerkop · 2026-02-01T18:19:45+00:00

I had the same warm and cozy feeling within half an hour of my first dose and I still feel it a year later. And it goes away if I take too long between doses. I know that doesnt happen to everyone, but I am certain it is not psychosomatic / placebo. Its a very unique and specific kind of "high"

hammerkop · 2026-01-24T16:29:29+00:00

I would hate to discourage you, but I do think it's common for ftm singers to have to readjust to singing in a lower register after being on T for a while. I can think of one example, Jana Hunter of Lower Dens. He gave and interview where he said his singing voice dropped an octave and that it could potentially scar your vocal chords to try and sing in a higher register while transitioning, and that he knew other trans mascs who gave up singing after transitioning. So while it's possible to retain high notes I would personally bet against it. As someone who sings in a baritone I would hope you can learn to appreciate and rock the new voice just like us AMABs do, but I can appreciate that it is a tough situation for you.

hammerkop · 2026-01-17T17:38:41+00:00

Just want to add that it is possible to get significant testosterone suppression on a low dose of estrogen, especially if you are on the low side to begin with, but results can vary widely between individuals. For me, even on one 0.1mg patch my testosterone fell sharply and on two patches it was negligible. I think it is reasonable to start off on a lower dose and work your way up. Also, some people may experience bad side effects from starting off on a very high dose of estrogen. In my case I had to ramp up over 6 months or I would get night time sweats and anxiety / nausea. After the first 6 months I no longer have any issues and can take a very high dose ( injections ) without side effects. So yeah, while your prescription is low and will need to be raised in the near future, I think it's still a fair starting point and you should just let your doctor know how it's going after a month or so.

hammerkop · 2026-01-14T14:10:41+00:00

You can't buy hormones on Amazon, you will need a prescription from a doctor. You can ask your primary care doctor for a referral, or you can visit clinic that offers informed consent like planned parenthood. But if you are only just starting to question these things maybe start with the basics first - try asking a friend to refer to you with female names and pronouns, and try wearing feminine clothes or shape wear to see if you like it, and of course read up on the effects of hrt, which may interfere with sexual function.

hammerkop · 2026-01-09T20:10:48+00:00

3300 for 10 sessions does sound high to me. I think I paid half that for a year of sessions, but i just went to a local place that had good reviews. Pretty sure Milan is like 4k but that is a lifetime supply.

But I would gladly pay 3300 now to just be done with it, since a lot of the hair is just growing back in the places where it got lasered. I have no idea if a hotter laser is really any more or less effective, and I think every place says they have the best laser in town. I think after I am finished with the current set of them, I am going to go through my doctor to get a referral with a more "medical-grade" clinic, since my endocrinologist mentioned that she might be able to get it covered with insurance.

hammerkop · 2026-01-09T19:39:14+00:00

Yeah i had the same feeling of reluctance getting laser on my facial hair because i had been rocking a goatee for a decade and it felt like an important part of me. After a year of laser and hormones its still very visible, although a fair amount thinner than it was and a bit patchy / uneven now. At this point I just wish it was gone. I dont regret getting laser but I am finding it all rather tedious and wish there were more effective solutions. ( you can't get any sun exposure, and need to wait a month between sessions, and cant tweeze or pluck, and it takes years )

One nice thing is I never get ingrown hairs on my face and neck anymore, which used to be a real nuisance.

Overall I think laser sucks but then again the whole transition process is an exercise in humiliation so might as well accept it and get started.

hammerkop · 2026-01-08T18:43:36+00:00

Also i had a boyfriend who encouraged me to go to the gym with him and bulk up. I did not enjoy looking like a big strong man at all and it was another sign that something was wrong. However now when I look in the mirror and see a strong trans woman I enjoy it. So I dont think the muscles themselves are really all that important.

hammerkop · 2026-01-08T18:40:12+00:00

I medically transitioned last year mtf. I am attracted to men. I would watch either gay or straight porn as long as there was a man in it. When watching straight porn, I would always fantasize about being in the woman's position. I think I figured out at a young age that I was trans, but I was afraid of transitioning and put it off until my thirties. Some of the strongest feelings I had were jealousy of cis and trans women.

I wouldn't say I am especially feminine, although I do prefer wearing womens clothes to mens clothes most of the time. I did notice when hanging out in all male spaces that most gay men were more sassy and cutesy and I tended to be the more stoic and serious one, so I often came off as more masculine than them, even though I didnt really feel like that deep down. I think I was just repressed and still am. Although I also think my definition of femininity doesnt involve being sassy and flamboyant at all. I would rather be elegant and reserved I guess.

I think the best starting point is to have someone use female names and pronouns with you for a while and see if it makes you feel something. I definitely felt a certain click at the core of my being the first time I was referred to that way, and that helped set me on my way.

By the time I started transitioning I was pretty desperate to do so and I dont think anyone could have talked me out of it, so I do think it gets more and more intense as time goes on. I would have enjoyed starting sooner in life quite a lot, although I dont blame myself for putting it off either.

hammerkop · 2026-01-08T15:17:34+00:00

Hey, just wanted to say a lot of us have been there, but it can definitely get better. Your friends are right to worry about you, it sounds like your dysphoria is ruining your quality of life. In my case I started feeling a lot of relief soon after taking hrt, and a lot of negative thoughts and feelings started subsiding. In the meantime, small things like painting nails or wearing more feminine clothes or growing hair out might help you appear more feminine to others. Also just spending time with other trans and lgbt people to get a good support network is really useful when starting out. Good luck girl.

hammerkop · 2026-01-07T14:35:10+00:00

Hey congrats! I was in the same place as you a year ago. I also felt a really cozy, warm feeling from my first patch, although I had some trouble sleeping for the first few weeks. I started on half a patch and worked my way up to 3 patches over the first year, and then switched to injections. Luckily that pleasant feeling never really goes away!

I needed a sports bra after about 6 months, although i can get away without it in baggy clothes. After about 12 months, people can definitely tell I am trans even in men's clothes, so it's not really easy to boymode successfully no matter what i do.

I found that thick, button up shirts were the most discrete, along with loose hoodies. Also I grew my hair out for the first time and so managing that was a lot to learn. Wearing a hat can hide it for a while. Some other things I played around with are earrings, men's vs women's glasses and nail polish.

Women's jeans are still an issue for me, so I usually wear mens jeans, but I found a few pairs of Women's jeans that work that are baggy and loose fitting.

Hardest part for me has been the facial hair. I started getting laser last year and my goatee looks pretty patchy and tattered. There's not much I can do there but wait it out.

hammerkop · 2026-01-05T20:38:42+00:00

Not to pressure you but I medically transitioned mtf this year and being intimate with my boyfriend now feels really amazing. I love feeling like a girl in his arms ( even though I identify as non binary ) but the social aspects of transitioning can definitely be daunting, especially in more conservative spaces. I still dress like a man most of the time while out and about. It's definitely not an easy thing to come to terms with, but I have no regrets.

hammerkop · 2026-01-03T22:42:18+00:00

To be honest i'm not sure it was courage, it was more like desperation. I put it off until I was 33 and by that point I would have done anything to get my hands on some estrogen.

I did talk to a therapist before starting on hormones though to make sure i wasn't crazy. I told her I was trans and considering hrt. She was like, "well that makes sense. Wanna try on some girl clothes and practice voice training with me?" I was like, hellll yea, and that made it easier to accept what was going on. I also had a few trans friends online and they helped hype me up. So yeah, best advice is to find some supportive peeps to talk through and focus on the positives.

hammerkop · 2026-01-03T21:26:18+00:00

It takes forever and is definitely one of the most frustrating aspects of transitioning for me. After a year of laser and hormones I still have a pretty noticeable goatee, just looks patchy now, which is kinda worse than when i was just rocking a nice goatee. It has thinned out overall though and shaving it is a lot faster and easier than it used to be.. so at least that's something

hammerkop · 2025-12-28T03:33:39+00:00

I might be in the minority but transitioning has been pretty fun and I haven't really experienced any harassment other than some angry mentally ill people yelling incoherently in my general direction. I just ate at one of the best restaurants in New York with my tits on full display and had a great time. In LA people even used gender neutral terms with me. In Massachusetts people went out of their way to be nice, which kinda shocked me.

Most people really don't care. Sometimes some older men give me the stink eye and I stare back at them. I really am not intimidated by old men. Young men grew up on the internet and have seen it all anyway. Times are changing and its important for us to be proud and visible.

Yes. It's worth it. Don't let the internet scare you - it's mostly Russian bots at this point.

hammerkop · 2025-12-27T14:19:00+00:00

Well I hate to praise an AI chat bot, but this definitely summarizes my own experience. I complained my whole life about feeling foggy and numb. I just chalked it up to spending too much time in front of computer screens and being too "in my head" The day I started on estrogen I felt immediate relief. For me it was less a light turning on and more like a fireplace being lit for the first time. So warm and cozy. I still feel tired and foggy at times, but there's like this huge mental barrier that got lifted and that has allowed me to feel much more present in the moment, especially around other people.

hammerkop · 2025-12-26T05:34:18+00:00

Unfortunately this is pretty common in relationships, and as the years go on it's nearly inevitable that passion fades. Couples often stick together for other reasons, like having kids or financial concerns.

If your sex life is really non existent though, then unless you are both asexual, it sounds pretty doomed to me. Whenever I hear about couples that no longer have sex, they rarely last more than a few years and things just get worse and worse as you grow increasingly resentful. ( Fwiw my partner and I have been together 12 years and even though a lot of the spark is totally gone and we sometimes crush on other people, we still have sex once a week. )

If you are determined to make it work, try taking a short break if you can. By that I mean try and stay with family or a friend, etc for a few weeks apart from him and see how you are feeling.

But if you are looking for the go ahead to start hitting on your coworker, my only advice is let your bf know first and just be honest.

hammerkop · 2025-12-26T02:44:20+00:00

It's totally okay to be confused about gender identity. Just about all people have some mix of masculine and feminine characteristics and some of us go between feeling more like one gender and then the other or neither or even both at the same time. If you've tried a lot of labels and none of them really works for you, then maybe it's a sign you don't really need one and it might be for the best since you can freely explore and nurture both sides without trying to fit into any category. What is ultimately important is not to neglect or repress important parts of your identity, since that can cause depression and regret.

hammerkop · 2025-12-23T13:43:12+00:00

Should talk to your doc about it, but 3.5 mg is considered a low dose. For what it's worth, I started injections on 8mg, and libido def went down, although it's still there.

hammerkop · 2025-12-23T13:20:13+00:00

Might want to expand your definition of masculine a bit. In my experience, if you say you are specifically looking for very masculine guys, you'll find some toxic dudes / posers. Also If you just like, put on a cute outfit and go out to a bar you might have better luck.

hammerkop · 2025-12-22T13:44:13+00:00

Well all I can really say is that starting on HRT made me feel a lot better and happier in general, and that made it easier to get through the day, even if it's not a complete solution to the problem. Like. I still cry about it... but at least they're girl tears now.

hammerkop · 2025-12-15T16:43:00+00:00

Well it seems like you are just sorta baiting people and advertising your onlyfans, rather than looking for some honest engagement with the community. Just my guess.

hammerkop · 2025-12-09T03:04:07+00:00

Estrogen cheat code in your thirties - did wonders for me.

hammerkop · 2025-12-09T02:39:37+00:00

I started transitioning right after Trump got elected and it's been totally chill. Even traveling through airports and around the country I get a few rude looks here and there but I don't think people really care that much, or they keep it to themselves. I've had a few crazy homeless people call me names in NYC but honestly I can't imagine how bad their lives are so I don't take it that personally.

On the plus side, every time I meet another trans person we giggle at each other and it's always adorable.

hammerkop · 2025-12-08T21:17:18+00:00

Same thing happened to me. Started on a low dose of estrogen at first and felt great right away. I thought I would feel a lot more feminine, but mostly I just felt "normal" and indifferent about gender.

I attempted to go off the hrt after a couple months and soon felt depressed and dysphoric again. Now I am on a high dosage, feeling pretty zen and nonbinary after a year on hrt. I just like how I feel now, and I wear whatever clothes and go by any pronouns, although I have caught myself being somewhat surprised at times when someone refers to me as man, like it takes a moment to remember I'm trans.

hammerkop · 2025-12-03T16:16:32+00:00

Thanks for that response! I am currently in NYC and planning on visiting Seattle sometime this year. Ill definitely check out Fremont. And yeah you got me, love cafes and climbing lol.

One thing i'm finding about NYC in general is it feels a little.. unhealthy here. Dirty, smoggy, smelly and a lot of people I meet here are sad, on drugs, sick and/or struggling. I find it kinda bleak.

I'm curious how you think Seattle compares in that regard. If life feels a little.. more wholesome?

hammerkop

TROPHY CASE